[SuburbanMom]

I was wondering how everyone else is dealing with the fine line between continuing to make plans for the future and "denying" that you are waiting to adopt. I'm having a hard time with this lately. I sometimes struggle to make big commitments - because "we could get a baby by then". Yet on other days, I go and do things like plan a trip to visit my sister who is studying abroad during her break.

So, right now I'm just working on compromises. We're scheduling a family vacation, but only to somewhere within driving distance. I'm using frequent flyer miles to go to Europe, so we're not out any real $$ if I cancel, etc.

[lambeausam]

I know what you mean. We are planning a trip to California this summer, but I don't want to purchase airline tickets too early because our family composition could change by then. Since my family is foster and foster/adopt, the "waiting game" is a little odd. Anyway, I hope you enjoy your trip abroad, especially if this is your first one!

You can't put your life on hold, I know that is easier said than done. Your wait will seem so much longer if you don't pursue normal activity!!! My suggestion is you plan on trips and outings as normal, always leave contact numbers with your agency or attorney. Good luck!

[organicmommy]

We do go about some of our normal planning, and then again I have cut back on some of it. We go to visit our families once a month but that is within driving distance so we just are not setting a for sure date on when we will be down each month. We are not planning a vacation this year as we need our vacation time for when we are doing the transition and also for when we have court dates. But that is fine, we have from March to March to use that time up and if we still have a lot towards the end we will plan to go somewhere to use it up. Either that or the company is pretty good about letting us carry it over if something that is involving family is the reason so we could be able to carry it over next year. We are not sure.

[faith_amom]

I agree that the wait seems MUCH LONGER if you put your life on hold. Keeping busy really does help the time to go by. We just went about our lives, and then we got a call out of the middle of nowhere.

For those of you who are adopting for the first time, I'd suggest taking some romantic getaways. Once the kid(s) come, you won't have the opportunity to get away very often. We are planning one that will (hopefully) happen before #2 arrives.

- Faith

[nickosgal]

We have tried to just lead our ordinary life. We make plans as if nothing may arrise and know that if we have to lose money for the tickets/etc than what are a few bucks in the grand scheme of things anyway?! I've done pretty good at the waiting by not focusing on the actual waiting..yeah, I know, easier said than done. But, I've found that just going about my everyday life like I normally would but knowing that someday my whole world will change is how I keep my sanity. Everyone is different and since we are in our 6th month of waiting I look at it like I'd still have 3 months to wait if giving birth anyways. I think after 9 months of waiting is when I MAY lose my sanity

Best of luck to you!

[Support2Adopt]

I think it's wise to go ahead and plan a family vacation. One thought, though, is that if you adopt out of state, you will be required to remain in that state for a period of time until all the paperwork clears. Just mentioning that in case someone, (not you, but anyone reading this,) only has a certain amount of time they can take off from work. In that case, an idea would be to plan on vacationing in whatever state you will be required to stay in. JJ

[stevekaren]

I totally agree with moving forward with your plans -- don't put life on hold.

My husband and I live in San Diego and had wanted to go to Las Vegas all year... It's only a 5 hour drive, we just couldn't find the time to go. Plus, it had been a really awful year which is why we wanted to get away -- my father died in January and it started a streak of one family death a month thru October.

Finally we scheduled a trip to go in mid-August. A week before that, my cousin's wife passed away; the 8th family death last year. The funeral was to be right in the middle of our trip. We really debated on whether or not to go but decided to go ahead with the trip to Las Vegas -- we really needed to recharge our batteries and have a little fun; it had been a really rough year.

We returned from our trip on Monday, August 19th. On Tuesday, August 20th, we received the call about our son. We were matched on August 22, met the birthmom on August 25th, and our son was born on December 10th.

My DH and I laugh that we needed to get that last vacation out of the way so that it would make way for adoption plans...

So, go on that trip -- who knows what wonderful event could be waiting for you when you get back!

[bellazmama]

Go on about your life as if you were young lovers! (You won't have time after you get "THE CALL"!) Of course you'll be really anzious some days and you'll just know that if you go to the movies, someone will try to call you about your child. So what? Leave your contact numbers with the important people in this process and try not to worry. Don't drive yourself nuts, because it can be such an easy trap to fall into. Your child IS out there!