[Tori Koubek]

Hi
Does anyone have tips on networking? I'm trying this method. A friend told us to print buisiness cards and send them out in our x-mas cards explaining to relatives and friends that if they would like to help in our adoption journey they can put it in a purse or wallet and if they encounter a situation through their daily contacts they can pass it along. What does anyone think of this idea? And does anyone have others?
Thanks

[Nelson]

I love this idea. It's a great way to plumb the "friends and family" network for contacts. You'll be surprised how often I've heard of children that have joined families through connections like this. We sent a letter, but the enclosed biz card is a great way of extending the network.

I printed cards (save money by buying pre-cut Avery cards at the stationerary store and printing them in color on your home computer). I only ended up giving one out, to a college co-ed at a blues concert, but exposing myself to a stranger like that was liberating. It was as if I had really embraced the fact that our baby was coming from "out there" somewhere, and that i was OK with that.

Here's the BUT. Be careful about what personal information you release outside of your immediate circle. There are people out there who will try to take advantage. Make sure you have a toll-free number that you use only for adoption and put that on the card, along with a dedicated email address. Don't put your home address or personal or work phone #s.

The best thing about ideas like this is that doing them keeps you activated. There's nothing that feels more powerless than sitting around waiting for someone else to find your kid. Designing, printing, folding, stamping--it keeps you involved. My wife and I tried to do one thing like this every month or so, depending on how much time we had and how we felt. But it was a great bonding experience, and provided time for us to talk and dream (you've got to do something while you're stuffing all those envelopes!)

Another network to try would be local clergy. they are often a first point of contact for people managing an unexpected or unwelcome preganacy. See if you can get a list of mailing addresses to various congregations and send them a copy of your DBM Letter (and business card) with a short one page cover note explaining that you are looking to adopt.

Let's hear some more ideas!

[Tracy K.]

I was just about to try to design a card (yup, the Avery do-it-yourself type!). Has anyone else done this? I was just wondering if you think you need to be "catchy" or flashy or just straight to the point? I was thinking of a top line of something like "we're hoping to adopt" and just ask the recipient to check us out with website/toll-free #/e-mail.

[joannemckay76]

We used business cards with "HOPING TO ADOPT" follwed by our first names, baby phone# our parent profile on adoption.com.I give them to everyone i think of. We also used the networking tool on adoption.com, alot of positive response from co workers and family passing it on.Two of my sisters are teachers who know people all over, they have been very helpful.Good Luck too!

[live2bhappy2003]

Why even go to such extent to adopt by using "business cards"? Call a good networking firm; Heaven Sent (www.heavensentadopt.com), (www.nurtureadopt.org), or join 2adopt@yahoogroups.com where there is a wonderful exchange of infomation between people that have adopted, people wanting to adopt and have good ideas, and some adoption agency staff.

If you are seeking a CC baby/child, then keep up the extra methods, but if you want a baby really soon, these avenues above are going to help you! It did for us. We got a biracial baby before the ink was dry on our homestudy.

[joannemckay76]

I will try those web sites, but the business cards were suggested by quite a few people. What is a cc baby/child? If it means caucasian we are trying to adopt a healthy baby, not too fussy about sex, racial background.thanks for the info.

[live2bhappy2003]

Joanne,

Sorry, CC baby/Child, I meant CC/AA (biracial) or AA child, any of those websites I provided have a lot of those situations, at reasonable fees and good reputations.

Best of luck!

You'll get somewhere faster than business cards by contacting those agencies mentioned, and save your self a few bucks. The chances are very slim you'll come across a situation on your own through networking.

[Nelson]

In fact, a good percentage of matches are made through what I call the "friends and family" network. The idea that you have to employ someone to find your child is completely bogus.

The process of adoption breaks down into basically two parts, the legal process and outreach. The legal process is self explanatory, that's whatever steps and processes-home study, custody, termination of BP rights, finalization--the law requires for you to assume custody of a child. depending on the state you live in and the path you choose, these services can be performed by state sanctioned professionals like lawyers or agencies, or by the state itself.

Outreach is the process of connecting PAPs with expectant parents looking to place their children. In many states, this part of the process can be handled by the same provider who handles the legal issues. some do, some don't, and all do to varying degrees and in varying ways. A few states prohibit PAPs from doing certain kinds of outreach on their own, like placing ads in newspapers, but there are always legal ways that PAPs can get the word out into the community that they are looking to adopt.

Then there are facilitators, and so-called "networking companies" like the ones you mention. these are individuals or groups who basically advertise for birthmom, and charge PAPs for introductions. Facils may run ads, have connections with social service organizations, or do any number of things to get the word out to potential BPs, and many of them are caring and professional people who are sensitive to the needs of those involved, and actively support pre-adoption counseling and other things helpful to the process. The problem with them is that they are unregulated, unlicensed, and untrained. Anyone can hang out a shingle and call themselves a facil, and many of the movie-of-the-week horror stories you hear about in the press, like the infamous "Internet twins," trace their origins back to unscrupulous facilitators.

Some people are willing to put out the additional funds to a facilitator to do their marketing for them, which is fine, as long as they realize what they are hiring is an advertising agency, not an adoption professional. You will still need to contract with a lawyer, agencies, or the state in order to perform the legal processes necessary.

In any case, there is nothing a facilitator can do that you can?t do for yourself, and I strongly urge anyone pursuing adoption to get involved in the process of outreach. Doing so increases the chances that you will find a match, decreases the amount of time it takes to do so, keeps you positively involved and empowered in the search for your child (which all adoption counselors recommend as good psychological health), and keeps your energy flowing out into the world from when your baby will come. Don?t be suckered into a passive role just because there are people who say they will do it for you.

[adoptivemom2000]

We adopted our daughter by networking. This was one of those "friend of a friend" type situations. I am all for it! We are in the process of searching for another child to complete our family. I do my own Avery cards and also tell everyone I know. My intentions, when I get time, are to mail to clergy, public health departments, crisis pregnancy centers, and possibly to nurses or councelors at high schools. You never know. The top of our cards say "Adoption Is A Miracle Of Love". Everytime I look at our daughter, I know this is true!!!

Lynn

www.adoptivefamily.siteblast.com

[Nelson]

keeping it current