[boodles77]

Hello all!

I'm new here. My husband and I have no children. I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome five years ago, and I've been told I don't ovulate. The many medications I have been taking have only made me sick and miserable. I'm about to give up on them and on the hopes of one day being able to conceive my own child. It's so devastating.... but I'd rather be happy and healthy rather than be sick all the time.

My husband and I have recently brought up the idea of adoption. He seems pretty optimistic, while I'm still dealing with the frustrations of above. He is 100% Hungarian, and he's very proud of his roots. We've thought it might be a good idea, not only if we could adopt, but if we could adopt a Hungarian child. My husband still has relatives in Hungary; although, he has lost contact with them.

There is soooo much information about adoption, and I think we're getting in over our heads.... but we still can't find simple answers that we're looking for..... Maybe someone here can help? Here are our questions:

-How successful are International adoptions?
-What is the average age of children who are adopted internationally?
-How difficult is it to adopt internationally?
-Is it possible to do a private international adoption?
-Who should we contact (domestically or in Hungary) to begin the adoption process?
-How successful are International adoptions?

Any answers would be helpful. If anyone has had experience with adopting a Hungarian child, I would really be interested in chatting or emailing.

Thanks!
Deborah

[twyla]

Hi, Deborah.

I have no experience with international adoption as we have opted to go the domestic route since we would like to parent a newborn and have an open relationship with the birth parents. Perhaps the other moderator, Jessica, will be able to chime in with some helpful hints for you.

But in the meantime.... have you chosen an agency yet? If not, and Hungary is your only target country you may want to investigate several agencies that facilitate adoptions in that country and compare their fees, policies, placement rates, waiting times, etc. before you sign a contract to work with them.

I really feel from reading many posts on these boards about the process, that going it alone, or even with just an attorney, in the endeavor to adopt internationally would be overwhelming to say the least! Each country's legalities are going to differ, and to bring your child home, all the i's have to be dotted and the t's crossed exactly the right way. Plus there is the matter of the home study which I understand has to be written up just so for each country you want to adopt from. You have much paperwork ahead of you, don't despair, the first step is the hardest one. Just find an agency and get started!

[organicmommy]

Well here is a topic I don't have a lot of info on. We too have chosen to stay in the states are are working for a child that is in the state system.

Like Twyla said, you should check out different agencies to be sure you are working with the best one. Go with your gut instinct and stick to it. You will know when you have the right one.

Good luck

[Linny]

Deborah:
We adopted internationally when we lived in Okinawa, Japan many years ago. Our first baby was born in Korea, the next in Japan. The info I can give you is, therefore, 'dated' to say the least. However, since then, I can tell you that I have known others (more recently) that have adopted overseas.....and, I'd tell you that we had seriously considered international adoption in Africa or China....before realizing it would take much more money than we could afford.

Each agency is different. I am almost certain you cannot conduct an adoption overseas, without an agency. I believe you MUST have an agency approval stateside before you could conduct an adoption. By this, I mean having the fingerprints, the INS approval, visas, etc. There is a lot of info and paperwork to do concerning an international adoption. It can be done quite successfully.......but it takes longer to do the 'homework and paperwork'. After this, though, often the waiting time is relatively short compared to the waiting for domestic adoptions. It will also depend on whether you are wanting an infant adoption, or older child adoption.

If you choose to adopt older children....please do considerable homework before venturing into this. Older child adoption carries many more challenges...and adopting overseas adds to this.

That said, many agencies have 'conditions' before you can adopt. Age, is a big one. Whether single or married, another. Some agencies (though I've not read of a lot) even consider your financial status greatly, before placing a child. You will need to have a homestudy conducted before doing anything.....and this has to be a homestudy for international adoption. A 'domestic homestudy' will not suffice. I'd call a local adoption agency, ask them what countries they adopt with, how many each year, how long they have been conducting overseas adoptions, etc. Call a local adoption support group (if you have one near).....especially if you live in a populated area, look in your newpaper or call an agency to ask about one.
If you aren't sure, call your local 'state child/family services' type agency. They can give you suggestions for agencies that may handle international adoptions.

Go to your local library and find books about this. Many times a good book will list specific agencies to work with, etc.

Very often, adopting overseas is much more expensive. BUT....if you were able to spend a larger amount on a domestic adoption, this may not be a problem, either.

If I can help you further.....please feel free to private message me. Like I said, it's been years ago....but we have friends who have adopted overseas from stateside within the last couple-few years. My 'babies' are now almost 21 and 22yrs old.


Sincerely,

Linny

[sak9645]

-How successful are International adoptions?
-What is the average age of children who are adopted internationally?
-How difficult is it to adopt internationally?
-Is it possible to do a private international adoption?
-Who should we contact (domestically or in Hungary) to begin the adoption process?
-How successful are International adoptions?

1. Over 20,000 children will be adopted from overseas by U.S. citizens this year (2002) alone. The vast, vast majority of these adoptions will be successful. That is, the children, whose adoptions were legal and ethical, will remain with their adoptive parents, and both parents and children will do well.

Certainly, there will be a few failures every year, and these will be hyped by the media. In some cases, families will experience scams or fallthroughs that prevent them from completing an adoption, just as those adopting domestically do; however, it is generally possible to recognize and avoid a scam, and if you go with a good agency, you will usually get referred another child if you experience a fallthrough. In other cases, there will be a disruption (the need for a replacement family for a previously adopted child), usually because the child had medical issues that the parents could not handle, or because the parents were not well prepared for raising an adopted child.

2. Each country is different with regard to the age of children available. It is fair to say that it is uncommon for a family to bring home a child who is much under six months of age, however. One reason is that the foreign country often has rules requiring the placement of a child on a registry so that prospective parents living within the country are given first priority. Another is that the process of legal adoption in a country may be long. And a third is that the process of granting the child an adoption visa to enter the U.S. can take a while, because the U.S. government wants to ensure that the child was not bought or stolen and meets the requirements of the Immigration and Nationality Act; it also wants to ensure that the prospective parents are not likely to abuse or neglect the child, or to place the child on public assistance.

3. It is not particularly difficult to adopt internationally, but the procedures, complexity, and time frame will vary by country. Just as with domestic adoption, the first step is always having a homestudy done by a provider in the prospective parent's home state. The next step is obtaining the U.S. Immigration and Naturalization Service's approval of the parent's qualifications to adopt. The third step is usually preparation of a dossier of documents to satisfy the foreign country's legal requirements. At that point, there is usually a wait for a child to be assigned. Then, the parent will have a right to accept or refuse the assignment. When the parent indicates acceptance, he/she will usually travel to the country to complete the adoption formalities there. Then, the parent and new child will go to the U.S. Embassy in the country to obtain an adoption visa. At that point, the parent and child will travel home. (In some international adoptions, the adoption can be finalized before the parent travels, or the child can be escorted home.)

4. Some countries allow private adoption and some do not. Frankly, private adoption is risky, and may wind up costing as much as or more than agency adoption. It can work if the prospective parent is very familiar with the foreign country's language, laws, and adoption system; if he/she also is familiar with U.S. immigration law and state law; if he/she has a medical background so he/she can understand the health situation of a given child; and so on. Because of the complexity of the process and the need to ensure that a person is able to parent a particular child, it is generally a good idea to work with an organization that is licensed (thus, regulated in case problems arise); not-for-profit; and experienced in adoption from that country. By private adoption, I mean that the actual placement is not made with the assistance of an agency; the family will need a homestudy by a licensed provider in all cases.

5. To start the process, a family should select a country, and possibly a backup country in case the first country closes or changes its requirements for adoptive parents. Obviously, the family will need to know that it qualifies for adopting from the particular country. The prospective parent should arrange for a homestudy by a provider in his/her state; the homestudy provider should be familiar with the requirements of the state, the INS, and the foreign country. He/she should also download the I-600A from the INS website and begin to fill it out; the I-600A will ask for a copy of the homestudy report and will want to know what agency, if any, is being used; however, it can be submitted without this information, with the other material to be submitted later. He/she should research agencies carefully and then select one; a good place to begin researching agencies is the "Report on Intercountry Adoption 2002", published by International Concerns for Children, a non-profit family support group; it can be purchased by e-mailing ICC at icc@Boulder.net or calling 303-494-8333. When choosing an agency, the prospective parents should check references very, very carefully, and also contact the state in which an agency is licensed, as well as the Better Business Bureau, for information. The agency will lead the family through the rest of the process.

I hope this is helpful. Please feel free to contact me at sak9645@starpower.net if you want further information.


Sharon