[stynx9000]

Hi folks,

I've got some thoughs and questions on fundraising. Both my wife and I have been actively doing things such as selling everything not nailed down on eBay or Amazon, selling larger items through local estate sales and whatnot.

We've both agreed that this is a good way to get raise money for our adoption - but then we ran into a sticking point when I had another fundraising idea.

We both have some different views when it comes to raising money. Me, I'm willing to do just about anything short of robbing a bank to come up with the necessary funds. While my wife is just as excited and eager as I am to adopt, she's very concerned about appearing as a charity case.

Her viewpoint is that there are those who have lost their houses, or loved ones, or are facing a life threatening illness, and they should be the ones raising money for themselves through (for lack of a better descriptive phrase) "charity fundraising". She does not like the idea of appearing as such a case.

One of my ideas was to sell something (crafty or otherwise) for maybe a bit more than it's worth, but with the implicit idea that whoever bought one of the widgets would be doing so to help us adopt and therefore wouldn't mind spending a little extra money. That way, they're getting a tangible item for their money, and we're getting a chance to raise some extra cash to go directly into our adoption fund. For instance, buying "A is for Adoption" T-shirts for $8 and selling them for $15. (Just an example, I'm not buying any T-shirts).

she's not completely convinced that this isn't just another form of charity, and we've both agreed not to do anything without both of us consenting to it. (I have a tendancy to jump the gun and run with ideas ) I very much respect her opinions and feelings about this, but I'm not entirely sure I understand them.

What's your take on this? Is this charity? Would we appear to you as such a charity case? If you were in a different situation, and weren't saving yourself for an adoptoin, would you consider buying something like this?

Thanks for your input.
Ben

[organicmommy]

I personally do not feel that this would be a form of charity.
However have you talked about selling items like tupperware or having a party for one of these types of things. This is done often as a form of fundraising. Also I believe that there is a foundation set up by Oprah that does fundraising. Check out some sites that are for fundraising and question them on such a thing. I think that is totally a possiblility.
Also I am not sure who does it but they have grants and such set up to help children be adopted.
Good luck

[SuburbanMom]

I have to agree that I don't think this is a form of charity. Are you crafty? Do you have skills others envy? Maybe you could come up with something that's marketable and sell it like a business and raise money that way. Can you become a vendor at local events? For example, you can purchase glow necklances cheap via the internet (maybe 50 cents each) and sell them for $2 each. Or bottles of water. Christmas is getting close and you could do Christmas crafts. You get the idea.

[Support2Adopt]

Ben, I love the idea of coming up with something crafty in order to raise funds for your adoption, although, unless it's rather a big ticket type item, I don't know if you would be able to raise much money. No, I wouldn't look upon you as a charity case. Do you belong to any kind of church, club, etc? Here's why I ask. How about getting people to donate items for a silent auction? You could even go to some local merchants and ask if they would donate something. For example, a free dinner for two or an overnight stay at a local hotel. The merchants would get free advertising and you would get some great items for people to bid on, with all proceeds going to your adoption fund. You could hold the auction at your church, club, etc. JJ

[stynx9000]

Hi everyone,

Thanks for the comments.

I'm more trying to get some ideas into my wife's view. Unfortunately we have not had a lot of time to discuss this as she's working her theater job (2nd job) from 6pm-11:30pm. So for the next month or so, we won't see much of each other.

My wife and I, while spiritual, aren't subscribing to any religion, and we both feel a bit awkward about simply approaching neighborhood churches/temples/etc. and asking for help. So that avenue is out.

I've recently been mucking about with 3D art and was thinking of having some notecards or some such thing printed up and selling them. I can have them printed for about $4.00 a pack, and was hoping to sell them for between $8-10. That's just one idea.

I think my wife is less comfortable with approaching people and asking them to buy stuff from us *specifically* to support our adoption. She's not one to want to add pressure to friends or family who may not have a lot of cash to contribute. Neither am I, but then, I'm perfectly fine if a friend or family member lets us know that they can't afford to buy something, or simply choose not to respond to an email or letter.

It's still a bit frustrating for us, as we're mostly waiting to start waiting. We don't want to sign up with our agency, or begin the home study (which is good for 12 months) until we're sure we'll be able to get the funds to complete our adoption. So our goal is to raise $10k before we begin the whole process.

Best of luck to everyone,
Ben

[SuburbanMom]

Have you tried looking at this from a different perspective: How can you lower your adoption costs? Since I don't have any details about what you're doing, I have no idea if you're already doing this. But there are many, many agencies out there and many, many different fees. Are you willing to adopt a child with a special need? Or one that may be African American or bi-racial? If so, there are often reduced fees for these babies and some additional assistance available. Our agency will actually give you a loan for up to $2000, which is the amount our state will reimburse expenses for if you adopt a special needs infant. Even if you don't think you are capable of this, you might still be able to find an agency that does sliding scale fees or some other way to lower your costs.

[musicmama]

JJ,

I thought your idea of holding a silent auction was great!!! I asked my husband if he would let me explore that possibility, and he said to go for it. It is just not in his nature to share our needs, and he has only told two people that we are adopting, but this is something that will benefit everyone, not just us. The merchants get advertising, the buyers get something tangible to take home, and hopefully our adoption fund will grow. In the grand scheme of things, our adoption is not really costing much (our facilitator is free, our attorney sees doing the legal work for adoptions as a ministry and charges substantially less than the going rate, and our home study is only $500). The entire adoption will probably be less than $2000, but we still need help to cover all the costs.

I just got home from "pounding the pavement" and after just a few hours, I already have 12 donations from merchants, and will call back another 9 tomorrow when the owners or managers are in. This is so exciting!!! I did get some pretty weird looks today--one lady said, "Well, *that's* a new one!!" She wants me to come back closer to the auction date, but I probably won't...she acted like I was a little *looney tunes* (which I probably am )

If anyone has any other great ideas for fundraising, I'd love to hear them!!

musicmama

[Support2Adopt]

Wow Musicmama! Twelve donations already? That's terrific! JJ

[slikmom]

I just had a suggestion for you before you go hog wild on what appears to be a wonderful fundraising idea... We completed our adoptions by adopting through the foster care system. There are over 100,000 children in the US waiting to be adopted. We paid for nothing. Not our homestudy, not our attorney, nothing! Just an avenue I thought you might want to consider.
Heather

[musicmama]

Heather~~

We looked into adopting from our state's waiting child program... for lots of reasons, we decided that was not the way we wanted to go...our age; we wanted a child under 2-and they said they had enough waiting families for those kids, and would only consider us for children 8 or older; we already have 6 bio kids age 13 to 4, and only have a 5 bdrm home, and that's not enough room in their opinion; we would have to take a series of 10 parenting classes-frankly, since we already have 6, I think that would be a total waste of our time and resources. My husband has a cousin who used to work for Lutheran Social Servies, and he cautioned us against going the "state" route...he said it just took too much time, too much red tape, too much heartbreak, when there are so many children out there, and families who want to adopt, but all the hoops you have to go through make it a very frustrating experience for everyone involved, even the caseworkers. It breaks my heart that we can't help one of the waiting children, I know there are many that will stay their entire lives "in the system."

We were matched with our birthmom just three months after starting our adoption journey, and our baby is due Jan. 30, '03! We feel like this is the right solution for our family--no age requirements-for us *or* the child, we will be adopting an infant at birth, no high agency fees, no requirements for parenting classes, etc. We know if we had gone the state route, we would just barely be started with all the paperwork, and classes, and who knows how long it would be before we got a child. As of today, we have 23 donations from local businesses, and we aren't even half way through our contact list. I think we will have a very successful silent auction, and this will help our adoption resources tremendously. I think the important thing for prospective families to consider is to look at *all* the options available, research everything very well, and then make the best decision for *your* family, based on what you know about your family's needs, resources, etc.

Musicmama

[Bcelli]

My husband and I surfed the Internet for eternity looking for the exact answers you're looking for. ( I also have similar views to your wife although I decided if we were going to provide a home and family for a child who has no one, I needed to swallow my pride and do what I had to do. And believe me, it's been HARD!) But, here's where we ended up: http://www.childadoptionfunds.org/

We have establsihed a 501c3 charity for the exact purpose of providing a home for our child and will continue to raise funds after we bring him home so we can help others do the same. The catch is - IRS-wise - the child needs to be from a developing country (which is pretty much anywhere outside the U.S.) or needs to qualify as a special needs adoption in the U.S., which could range from handicaps to age to a sibling group.

If it's something you're interested in knowing more about, let me know. And maybe if your wife looked at the situation more from the point of view that she is doing something for the child moreso than herself, that might help her reconcile her feelings to a workable level. I can SO relate to where she is, though, because there are so many people more deserving than I. But when I think about a child somewhere who has NO ONE, who's more deserving than them?

Good luck and God Bless!

[musicmama]

We have 32 donations now, and three weeks before the auction! I called our local paper today, and they agreed to do a news story on the auction, and donate the cost. So I wrote up a little story explaining what we're doing and why, and it will probably go on the front page. (We live in a town of 6,500, so *all* the news stories go on the front pg.)

Does anyone have any ideas for games, etc. during the auction? I have personally never been to one, so not sure just what exactly happens...we thought about selling chances to name the baby for a $1 ea., with a prize to the winner, and an area where guests could write a little letter of blessing to the baby, for a scrapbook.... We are going to ask everyone who comes to bring their favorite finger foods for refreshments, and we will supply hot chocolate, coffee, and hot cider. Any other brilliant ideas?.....I'm beggin' here people!!! I only have three more weeks to plan this thing, and I'm gettin' a little nervous.

Musicmama

[SuburbanMom]

Musicmama - Can you give some more details - is the event indoors or outdoors? What time of day? Weeknight or weekend? And most important - have you picked a theme yet? All good events have a theme. Once you get the theme, you can get games, food, etc. around the theme and come up with what looks like a well-planned event (even if you throw it all together last minute!) I've got some ideas, but want to know if you have any first.

[slikmom]

Musicmama -- Just a thought.... A 50/50 raffle always goes well, and it gives your guests a chance to win some cash too!
Heather

[musicmama]

Ok...it will be on a Monday evening from 7 - 8:30 (is that enough time ?), in the basement of our church--two rooms, so thought I would set up tables and chairs for refreshments in one room, and the auction items in the other room...

I don't have any ideas for a theme yet, except maybe baby ? Since I've never been to one before, I'm at a loss....yesterday a friend of mine said she would help with ideas....What's a 50/50 raffle? We are going to try to get a donation from a local bed and breakfast, so that might be a great prize to raffle off...we're about halfway through our prospective donor list, but haven't received anything yet that would be *special* enough to raffle...most of the donations have been in the $10 to $20 range.

Ideas???? Bring 'em on!!!

Musicmama