[Archive]

Originally Posted By Toffie

For the ones that successfully adopted once, then have an adoption fall through, how did you react to your next placement?

[Archive]

Originally Posted By sherry

We are in the process of adopting a second child. When we adopted the first time (2 years ago) we had one fall through before we got our daughter. We spent two days with this baby boy, named him, made decisions etc. and then the birthmother changed her mind 2 hours before the final paperwork was to be signed! We were devastated emotionally. But when 10 months later we were blessed with a beautiful baby girl we truly felt it was meant to be. The only effects which lingered from the failed adoption was the fear that our daughter's birthmother would change her mind too. The waiting period was horrible and I dreaded the ringing of the phone! It didn't keep us from emotionally bonding with her though and it hasn't kept us from doing this a second time!

[Archive]

Originally Posted By allison

birthmothers have the right to change their minds. not much anyone can do if they do. cause its their legal right to do so.

[Archive]

Originally Posted By ALLISON.......

Yes, they have the "right" to change their minds. We still have pain when we lose our child. Try some compassion!

[denise marie]

Hi,
I seen this and had to post!!My husband and i had 3 adoptions fall through.The last one was hardest as we raised her for the first 3 months of her life.She will always be my baby in my heart.
When this happened we had givin up for long time.But we wanted more children .So we went and did an international adoption.At first hubby was scared that we would get our child home and the paernts would come take her.I explained to him that she is oprhaned and he decide to further it.Well glad we did she is 7 years old and has been home 3 months now.God meant this to be for us.All case of adoption are differnt domestic or international.We tried both and have rewarded greatly with a beautiful daughter.

[nastasjaTEXASS]

We have a beautiful son we adopted a couple of years ago.
We tried again and almost had another son. The bmom changed her mind after giving birth to him. Of course we were devestated, but I believe all things happen for the good in the end. Bmom still has her baby and things are working out fine for her. I wish her the best. Now maybe someday it will be our turn to be blesseed.

[bellazmama]

Hi!

Just don't forget. . . until a woman actually PLACES her child, she is simply an expectant monther.

Thanks for listening.
Sarah

[allyson tollett]

In response to your great question,

Our first adoption went very smoothly. From the time we finished our paper work until our daughter was born was only six months. WE had a great relationship with our daughters birthmom and spoke with her several times a week. Always feeling encouraged by her strong attitude about placing the baby.

The second time we put our paper work in and we matched with a birthmom within two months. This adoption did not feel the same. We did not have as much contact with the birthmom. We did talk to her sometimes. Sometimes it would feel like she was avoiding us. She had placed two other children for adoption so we remainded hopeful. We continued to pray for God to give us strength and to give the birthmom strength. At the end the birthfather came into the picture again and they decided to parent. We were crushed. We had already pictured our life with this baby. We had to cry and grieve the loss of this baby but know that this was not the baby God had chosen for us. We would not want the birthmom to have made the wrong decision for herself and been sad the rest of her life.

The agency asked us if we wanted to wait to put our letter back into the book. We did not want to wait. We were very sad but knew how long it can take to match. The agency called us a month later and told us that they had several birthmoms for us to talk to. We matched with one of them and he was born three months later. We knew the moment we saw him that God had chosen this baby for us. All of the hurt disappeared and we loved him for the moment we saw him.

"For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11