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My husband and I are meeting a prospective bmom next week and were wondering if we should take her something? We don't want to seem pushy, but want her to know how much we appreciate her meeting us. The Bfather and the bmother's mom will also be there. If you think yes, do you have any suggestions? She is a teenager. I'd appreciate anything anyone has to say about this. Thank you.

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Originally Posted By Sandra

Here are some suggestions :
BE YOURSELF!!
It's very scary the first time...just remember that you will know if it is right...
Bring some scrapbooks of your family and your life...sharing something like that of interest helps break the ice...
Also ask them their goals for the child. And share your goals.
Good luck

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Since it has only been a little over a week since we met our Bmom and her family I can say relax. This meeting is not about the baby. It is about who you are and what you are like. We sat around the hotel room looking at scrapbooks and then went out to dinner and came back and visited some more. The next day we went to a garden and took a lot of photos and had lunch and visited some more. I feel that this experience will be very valuable to our Achild. We really did not talk much about the baby. More about ourselves and what we like to do. And how we have fun. What we do with our family. Things like that. I am sure yours will be fine. I am assuming that your agency will be there with you. We were on our own. We drove to the Bmom's state and stayed there. I will admit at the hotel while we were waiting on them to arrive I was very nervous. But once they got there and I gave our Bmom a hug I felt much more at ease.
I would not bring her a gift. Because it just is not needed. I would not want to seem like I was offering her something for the baby. Just bring yourself and pictures of your lives. We brought everything from our weeding album to pictures of our dog and family gatherings. She is not expecting you to bring her anything. I would do it all over again. After we left we could not believe that we had been with them. It was like a dream. I am also writing about all this in a journal for our Achild. I want him to know that this was not a snap decision on any of our behalfs. That this adoption process was well thought out and done for him.
Good luck hope all goes well.
Email me if you need more pep talk.
Please post how everthing goes.
Moe

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Originally Posted By Sandra

Hi Moe,
Sorry I missed you this week at the chat.
Thanks for all your great advice and sharing.
Best regards,
Sandra