[txgrace]

We are in the very beginning stages, and looking at some websites for local adoption agencies, I have noticed that some state that an adoptive couple must be medically infertile in order to qualify. So here's my question:

After much fertility testing and three years of trying, we were diagnosed with unexplained infertility. Then, with the help of Clomid, I became pregnant with my first son. Fifteen months later I gave birth to my second son (no Clomid this time). Now it has been almost two years of trying plus Clomid and I have not been able to conceive. Would an agency consider us to be infertile, or would they turn us away because we have been able to have children in the past?

We don't feel that our family is complete, and have always discussed adoption as a means of adding to our family, even before we were married. I also do not wish to go the IVF route. Are there agencies that will take us, or are we better off with a non-agency adoption?

[eagleswings216]

There are definitely agencies that will work with you. We didn't have to show we were infertile - we did have to say what went into our decision to adopt, but we didn't have to be doing it because of infertility. I encourage you to keep looking around and I feel certain you will find an agency to work with you.

[ruth74]

I would second that. I am not infertile - I'm single, and this was how I chose to become a parent. The agency I worked with was excited to have me, not just tolerant. I know there are agencies that limit to infertile couples, but From the ones I looked at they appeared to be in the minority.

[txgrace]

Thank you for your encouragement, this is definitely good news!

[HoustonTexas]

Wow! I have never heard of that. I am shocked!
Lots of people adopt that can have biological children. It doesn't make sense. Look at agency reviews in your state and you will find one that fits your needs.
Good luck.

[Linny]

I have heard of and talked with agencies who mentioned that if we had wanted a perfect white baby, then we'd have had to show we were infertile.

We could have had bio kids, but chose--deliberately not to. (We never wanted that perfect white baby either....)

Keep searching...and I daresay, you'll not have to look far. Most agencies don't make this type of stipulation.
Good luck to you!

Sincerely,

Linny

[HopingGA45]

There are lots of agencies that will work with you. Secondary infertility is just as much infertility as primary infertility. I don't know how the particular agency you were looking at defines infertility, but that's my opinion. Good luck.

[hertexas]

Originally Posted by txgrace

We are in the very beginning stages, and looking at some websites for local adoption agencies, I have noticed that some state that an adoptive couple must be medically infertile in order to qualify. So here's my question:

After much fertility testing and three years of trying, we were diagnosed with unexplained infertility. Then, with the help of Clomid, I became pregnant with my first son. Fifteen months later I gave birth to my second son (no Clomid this time). Now it has been almost two years of trying plus Clomid and I have not been able to conceive. Would an agency consider us to be infertile, or would they turn us away because we have been able to have children in the past?

We don't feel that our family is complete, and have always discussed adoption as a means of adding to our family, even before we were married. I also do not wish to go the IVF route. Are there agencies that will take us, or are we better off with a non-agency adoption?

In Texas, this is not a state requirement. Some agencies have a "calling" to help the infertile couple and have this in their charter. In my opinion this is upside down because as tragic as infertility is, adoption is about the child. Very few make this a requirement, even if they ask if you are infertile.

At the beginning of my journey, the questions about my infertility really riled me up. I see it differently now. I have attended many workshops hosted by agencies who actually hosted break out groups on infertility right smack in the middle of the day of "this is how adoption works with our agency" agendas. I have also had deep discussions eith my sw about infertility. The conversations were really about them doing due diligence to make sure I was not bringing the grief of infertility into the adoption process....and not about a "yes I am, no I am not infertile" question. After going through the process, I see these discussions as highly ethical characteristics, and not invasive. I have also seen, after many discussions with em's that some feel better about their decisions when they choose a pap who cannot have a bio child. So, questions that may seem invasive by an agency may often just be questions.

So far, I have seen absolutely no absolutes in the adoption world. Don't let one agency,article or for that matter, a single post by one of us be the final answer for anything you learn that seems like a barrier.

Best of luck!

[questioning]

Our agency only took couples, but the motivation to adopt was our decision and they just asked about it - it could have been that we felt we were done with bio kids, if we had them, or that pregnancy was dangerous, or that we could get pregnant but not carry to term, or as with a friend that they were much older and very unlikely to get pregnant.

We did find a couple of agencies which said "inability to conceive" or even "documented inability to conceive" which we could not have proven as for us it was pregnancy that was an issue, not conception. Those seemed to be crazy requirements, because it's not very helpful to get pregnant if you don't end up having a baby at the end of it for whatever reason.

[txgrace]

I appreciate all your replies, they've been very helpful!