[stoves48]

Hello all- First time on here so forgive me if I don't have the acronyms and lingo down correctly. My husband and I have been researching adoption for a while now and I think we have finally decided to adopt domesticly.

We met with an attorney last week and are going to adopt indpendently without an agency. Our attorney advised that the best way to find a match is to email all of our friends, family, co-workers, etc and let everyone know we are looking to adopt.

What are your thoughts on if this is an effective way to find a match? Is this common? Does it work?

She had a variety of reasons why this is a good way to start and they were all very logical. She also came highly recommended. I guess I just wonder if this could work?

Thanks for your help!

[mom.mama.mommy]

We probably will do this, or just share our blog link with people when time gets closer (as our blog is right now, just our own personal thoughts and tracking how/what we're thinking at this point, haven't actually shared anything with our family & friends)

I've heard of people making business cards and handing them out, including them when paying bills (assuming you're paying bills by mail still), taking ads in newspapers, all kinds of things. I have NO clue how often these work out, though stranger things have happened. And we're not at that point yet, so I can't really give opinions on what I will or won't do

I guess the networking comes down to giving you a better chance, and even if it's a "friend of a friend of a friend" it's a little bit more familiar for the situation? Something at least to boost the odds

[sheababy]

I have heard of people that this works for. You can also try leaving your info with dr's offices, Planned Parenthood etc.

[Magic_Hat]

It can definitely work. You can also advertise in newspapers. We were going this route but ended up finding a situation through an agency and we went with it. We went to a great workshop put on by Families for Private Adoption (ffpa.org) and they said that 75% of domestic adoptions are done independently, without an agency. They also said that 50% of the successes were through word of mouth and 50% were through other forms of advertising.

[mom.mama.mommy]

Oh, and local high schools, the counselors. Not sure how that goes, but I've heard of it as another networking potential.

[mbarilla]

So is adopting through an attorney versus a private agency cheaper? What are the pros and cons of each?

[Magic_Hat]

I think it really depends on the situation. If you live in a state where you can pay emom's living, medical and legal expenses and you are willing to do that, even if you just use an attorney who has reasonable fees, you could end up with an expensive adoption. But if your attorney charges reasonable fees and the emom you match up with has health insurance and doesn't need living expenses (or living expenses aren't even legal-this is the case with my state), you might have a less expensive adoption. As for agency fees, some do sliding scale based on income so would depend on your income. Some will charge a fee plus you may be asked to pay some expenses for the emom (depending on what's legal in your state). Our agency had sliding scale fees and it was all inclusive. It is all over the map.

An ethical agency will do a lot of counseling for the emom/parents, which is very important. But if you do an independent adoption, you can encourage/pay for counseling for the emom. You should also pay for her to have her own attorney.

[my_igit]

It works! I sent you a private message!

[stoves48]

I didn't get any message. Thanks anyway!

[mamamorton]

could you send me a message about your adoption journey--trying to figure out if we are going to use an agency or newtwork and do a private adoption. THANKS!

[southernbelle1]

Stoves48 could you PM information as well? Thanks