[Dickons]

Hi All,

I ran across this article about how to avoid the bad guys when choosing an adoption agency. I checked with Crick and she said it would be fine as long as there were no agencies named. Hopefully it will give a few common sense to-do's.


10 Things Adoption Agencies Won't Say (Page all of 3) at SmartMoney.com

Kind regards,
Dickons

[WizardofOz]

Thank you for posting this article on some realities of adoption.

I am only familiar with domestic adoption which is a politically correct multi-million business, opaque and hard to understand to outsiders. One reason why it is so hard to figure out is because we have a mental barrier connecting the word "baby" to the word "money". This barrier prevents us from making well informed decisions and realizing that, at times, the emperor is naked.

I loved the first sentence: "“Just because we place children doesn’t mean we’re good people". Ha!

[Linny]

Not a bad article; but while I was reading it, I continued to think of how hopeful adopting parents could avoid SO much of this stuff. Before I go on my rant, I want to say I'm not looking down on anyone who chose to do differently. BUT,in terms of domestic adoption---- I do believe adopting parents have a much louder and larger voice than they realize IF....they'd simply say 'no'.

How? If hopeful adopting parents would only accept babies that are already born, would only 'put-down' just so much $$ to any agency/attorney from the beginning---instead of presenting THOUSANDS of dollars to any of these people.

Hard to do? Absolutely. It means you might have to wait a little longer, means you might have to shop around for more agencies/attorneys....but you can know that if a baby is presented to you---already born, already (or nearly) relinquished.......the bioparents have had time to think it through...have had time for counseling, have had time to list and assure themselves (and the baby) the best interest for all.

Many would argue that this would mean no delivery room experiences for adopting couples, no 'get to know you time' with the bioparents, etc. But, IMO, this is a small price to pay when seeing the difference between a baby that's 'totally free for adoption' verses a bioparent who isnt' sure this is what they really wanted to do---decided to contact their relatives who just might want the baby---and when aparents then hand thousands of dollars over to an agency/attorney......that's exactly how much $$ they're spending for that adoption---and no more.

Makes sense to me; but I realize it's not the common-thought for most.....

In the meantime, as the economy gets worse...as more scams develop because some bioparents are out to get $$ with no intention of relinquising the baby....as more people get fed up with the foster care system to adopt (because of liberal laws allowing chance after chance after chance for bioparents).....I fear adoption practices will only worsen as years go by. What's so sad is---it just shouldn't have to be this way.

Sincerely,

Linny

[WizardofOz]

Well said, Linny, I agree with you completely. I am also a big proponent of baby-born situations.

[jcm]

Thanks for posting the article!

I agree Linny. A baby born situation would be ideal for us, but it is not the reality of the system, which sucks. I sometimes think of young girls or women who have decided adoption is the best thing for their baby, but then come time for the birth, they might have second thoughts, and a pushy sw. Or feel tremendous guilt because they already met the aparents, you know?