[jcutter]

My husband has MS, but has been asymptomatic since he was diagnosed in his early 20's or about 10 years. I called a few international agencies and they said it didn't matter. No one would work with us. It's pretty unbelievable to me that this is the case, but so be it.

If degree of the illness and prognosis are any factor, then his MDs will give him excellent scores on that. He has never had any physical disabilities and is on the most aggressive treatment available.

We have a biological child and were thinking about adopting an older child or toddler. This was pretty depressing news. I can't believe it. Pretty frustrating.

Please let me know if you are aware of any agencies or options that I might have. Emotionally, I can't deal with a foster parenting situation. I grew up with foster children and resented it my whole life. I don't want to have to take a child that was abused by their mother to see them every month. I just can't deal with that.

Thanks for any information. If we can't, I guess we'll go about it the old fashioned way.

Rae

[DianeS]

The first thing you will need to do in international adoption is pick a country to adopt from. Each country has their own laws about what health conditions they will accept in an adoptive parent. They can vary widely, and are often based on the prognosis a person with that diagnosis would have in that country - they have no idea, even with a doctor's note, what the prognosis would be in the USA.

So one option might be the countries where medical care is more advanced, like Korea (IF they're accepting adoption applications right now, I don't know that). Someone with MS might have a good prognosis somewhere like that, and therefore be no more of a barrier there than it would be here.

Another possibility might be a country that completely embraces international adoption, believing that that country's orphans have a better chance with just about anybody in teh USA than they do if they stayed in the orphanage. Liberia used to be such a country, I believe they're closed at the moment, but perhaps there are others.

I can't steer you in any specific direction, other than to reinforce that the country is the first choice. Countries like China where there is a 3 year wait for a referral have tightened their restrictions to only allow the parents China thinks are "best" to adopt. Other countries believe it's fine for a child to grow up in an orphanage, and they're in no hurry to expand the criteria for adoptive parents. And so on.

Once you've settled on a country or two that look likely to allow someone with your husband's condition to adopt, then call a couple agencies that specialize in that country. Those are the agencies that will know the rules for that country inside and out, know who in the country to contact, know exactly how to phrase things. If there is a way to do it, an agency that specializes in that county will know how to make it happen. Then when you get the green light from one of them, you can start your paperchase and making your payments.

And just as an aside, keep domestic adoption of a child in your age range in mind. Make sure that if you discard it, you are doing so based on truth, not on untruths. Someone with a chronic problem like MS that can be asymptomatic and handled well in the USA will experience few problems adopting in the USA. Certainly fewer than adopting internationally. It may be the solution you're looking for.

Good luck!

[cborsa7]

Rae,
International can be very difficult.
Not only is it the country that will have policy regarding health, the agency will usually have it's own policy as well. I think International isn't going to be something that will be a strong possibility for you.
I am surprised you haven't considered domestic. The US does not seem to place the same restrictions on health issues as you will find with International. I would think that would be your best route to check at this time. I do not know of any countries or agencies that are going to overlook MS, but you can always keep looking. I would be sure to check any agency out thoroughly that will work with you on an International adoption just to safe guard yourself for any financial loss. Be sure up front if you are not accepted you lose no funds.
Good Luck!

[jcutter]

Just to clarify guys - domestic is ok. I just don't want to adopt a child from a foster home or foster a child in my home prior to adopt where birth parents maintain parental visitation. My mother fostered children and we had to work with birth parents that had sexually abused their children because social services said so. These kids were so traumatized. It was awful and really hurt their chances to adapt from the trauma. I know some states are more quick to terminate parental rights and visitation than others....

[cborsa7]

Just to clarify guys - domestic is ok.

Than definitely, that is the direction I would look. You are not going to have a lot of the obstacles with domestic that you must overcome with International.

Wishing you the best on your journey, keep us posted!