[rachelrhin0]

My SIL told me not to long ago that she new of this family that adopted a baby from the birthmom. She found the birthmom through word out mouth. And all they had to do was go through an adoption attorney. No agency involved. It saved them tons of money in the end. How often does this happen? And how could I do something of the same sort? And is this a safe way to adopt? I'm just trying to keep my options open. Thanks in advance for any info.

[GoddessDanu]

You most definitely can do that. You have to find the birth mother, research her medical records, family life, reasons for placing her child for adoption, etc. Have an attorney draw up the paperwork and then go to court. The reason a lot of people go through agencies is because they have no clue where to find birth mothers and because they want to agency to take care of all the detective work and paperwork. Read some beginning adoption books; some have step by step instructions on how to do this. If you really don't want to pay that much for an adoption, please consider a child in foster care. Many times the state will pay for the whole adoption. Good luck!

[rachelrhin0]

Originally Posted by GoddessDanu

You most definitely can do that. You have to find the birth mother, research her medical records, family life, reasons for placing her child for adoption, etc. Have an attorney draw up the paperwork and then go to court. The reason a lot of people go through agencies is because they have no clue where to find birth mothers and because they want to agency to take care of all the detective work and paperwork. Read some beginning adoption books; some have step by step instructions on how to do this. If you really don't want to pay that much for an adoption, please consider a child in foster care. Many times the state will pay for the whole adoption. Good luck!

I know this may sound VERY selfish but we were hoping to get a baby. Maybetween the ages of 0-12 months. When doing fostering do you get to pick who you foster? And are there really babies to foster or just older children? And isn't there a bigger chance that the birthmom could get her rights back to the child and have the child removed from your home? That whould be devastating to us. I really don't know all my options or where to really start. So any info would be great!

[devildogwife]

Originally Posted by rachelrhin0

I know this may sound VERY selfish but we were hoping to get a baby. Maybetween the ages of 0-12 months. When doing fostering do you get to pick who you foster? And are there really babies to foster or just older children? And isn't there a bigger chance that the birthmom could get her rights back to the child and have the child removed from your home? That whould be devastating to us. I really don't know all my options or where to really start. So any info would be great!

That's not selfish at all! There is not a thing wrong with hoping for a young baby!

[minibus]

Originally Posted by rachelrhin0

I know this may sound VERY selfish but we were hoping to get a baby. Maybetween the ages of 0-12 months. When doing fostering do you get to pick who you foster? And are there really babies to foster or just older children? And isn't there a bigger chance that the birthmom could get her rights back to the child and have the child removed from your home? That whould be devastating to us. I really don't know all my options or where to really start. So any info would be great!

There's nothing wrong with wanting to adopt a baby. Yes, there are babies available through foster-adopt, but my understanding is that there are fewer newborns than there are older children.

Yes, generally in foster-adopt, the state tries to reunify the child with a parent or relative.

If you want to do an independent adoption (where you do the advertising, screen the expectant parents, do your own networking), then find a qualified adoption attorney - American Academy of Adoption Attorneys - Home - is a good place to start.