[KLL08]

My husband and I are having a difficult time finding an agency that will waive their length of marriage requirement? Any ideas?

We have known each other for 12 years, but waited to marry until we finished our degrees and started our careers. We really think this should be a positive thing, but most of the agencies we've been in contact with will not even talk to us until we have been married for 3 years, some 5! We've been married for a year now, have an approved homestudy for 2 kids up to the age of 2, of any race or ethnicity and are very open to special needs. We were matched with a beautiful baby boy, but he was medically fragile and we had to say no. We just believed he needed a family with a medical background. That agency is still willing to work with us, but have a VERY long waiting list, they did say they will keep us in mind should a situation arise that they think would be a great match for us, but we would really like to sign on with others right now.

Any ideas on how to get in with other agencies?? This is so very frustrating! I mean if we can be approved for a medically fragile child, why not a child that doesn't have severe medical needs??
Any ideas are welcomed!!

[Linny]

Not sure I'm understanding here.....
I'm reading that you're wanting to find an agency that will work with you since you've been married only a short time; yet, then I'm reading that you have an approved homestudy. It would seem that the agency who did your homestudy (and approved it) would also be the agency you'd work with?
And....frankly, I'd think any agency worth its salt would ONLY allow couples who were approved for a 'normal' child/baby to work with medically fragile needs.....certainly not the other way around. Working with MF kids takes a special couple/person, indeed.

Sincerely,

Linny

[KLL08]

Our homestudy agency is just a homestudy agency, not a placing agency.

[KLL08]

And I probably should have worded my last sentence in the original post more clearly...we are approved for any child including a medically fragile child, which is why I don't understand why it is so hard to find a placing agency.

[finallyamom0310]

Did you check with your local state DCF agency? I don't think they have marriage length requirements. Just a thought.

[KLL08]

We did check with our local DCF agency and it was probably the worst experience of my life! We live in the north end of the county and while they have an office about 15 minutes from us all of their meetings for foster/adopt is 1 1/2 hours away in the south part of the county. And they only offer the training classes occasionally and if you miss 1 of 12 you have to start all over, you can't just make it up. The whole process of being approved is minimum 6 months, then they require you to be only foster for at least 6 months, then you have to try to become an adoptive home and that can take more time. It was insane because we already have an approved homestudy! grr... they make it so difficult to become a foster/adopt parent that they are really losing some great families especially in our county!

[finallyamom0310]

OMG. I am so sorry they make it that difficult. I haven't talked to our state yet as we were thinking if we adopt again that is the route we will go. Not sure if ours is that bad we may not.

[jp4ga]

Maybe this will help:

You might want to look into using an adoption consultant company. These places have connections with several agencies around the nation. You may have more luck finding one without a marriage limit is you are being presented to several agencies at the same time. Our Adoption Consultants sent our information to 10 agencies, all of them had different requirements. Just a thought. Hope you find an agency that will work with you.

[WantingMoreKids]

Or maybe an adoption lawyer might work with you...
PM me - I know of one in LA that a friend worked with and was successful with.

Jessica