[Liz.Allen]

My husband and I have agreed to look into adoption, knowing that this isn't a final answer - we just would like more information. So, what would our first step be?
Are there any good books or websites that take you through the steps to adopt? Would we be contacting an agency first? If so, how do you find/pick an agency?
I've heard of informational classes or meetings - how do you find those?

Thanks so much.

Liz

[minibus]

Liz,

I'm curious to know that you mean by saying that adoption "isn't a final answer"?

As far as finding out more information - there are TONS of decisions that have to be made in the adoption process. The first is international vs. domestic adoption. Then in international, you need to choose a country, then you can find an agency that works with that country. In domestic, you then need to decide agency vs. independent vs. foster-adopt. Then you find the agency/attorney/local DSHS office.

You can find informational meetings at most agencies, but they are generally specific to what that agency offers. I found a couple of resources to be extremely helpful - one is the internet, of course! If you go to the main page of this very site - adoption.com - you will find lots of information. You can also google adoption and find TONS of information and guides to making your decision. Another place that was helpful to me was Resolve, as DH and I went through infertility struggles before we decided to adopt. We attended their annual conference and got lots of information on adoption through them as well.

Best of luck!

[Binny]

I think I would start by researching all the types of adoption first, to help get a direction in which way to proceed.

[ProspectiveSingleMom]

I agree that you should find out a little about each type of adoption (domestic infant, international, foster care) first. Then, if one type really stands out to you, research that type more specifically, and if you decide it is the route you'd want to go, start looking into agencies who work with that type of adoption. Some agencies do two, or even all three, types, but they might not be the best choice for the specific type of adoption you're interested in.

[kindredspirit]

I agree, do your research and understand what you want out of the adoption process.

International, domestic, ethnic background, open, closed, semi-open. Type of contact you want with the birthfamily.

Then chose the route you want to take. Do you want to be involved in the actually contacting or just let the agency do all the work. Contact several agencies and ask alot of questions, be careful they are in the business to rope you in like salesman. Then contact several private adoption lawyers and ask alot of questions. Google adoption profiles and read alot of profiles, you will need to produce one on your family.

When you speak with the agencies and lawyers, ask for references. Call these references and ask what they did.

On this site, search for the same type of questions. There has been the same questions in the past.

But first of all, make sure this is what both you and your husband wants to do. It is an emotional rollcoaster and you will need each others support. Don't expect things to work overnight, it could happen within days or take years.

[Liz.Allen]

What I mean by this "isn't a final answer" is pretty much just what "kindredspirit" said. Hubby and I aren't quite yet on the same page. I am leaning more towards yes and he's leaning more towards no but we've both agreed that we need more information.
My husband does has a bad criminal record from the age of 15-19 so we are not eligible for international adoption. And have been told that a private adoption or foster to adopt would be our best options though we don't know if we'd even pass the home study which is really disappointing.
My husband has made some bad decisions but they were over 10 years ago and before we even met. We'll just have to play it by ear I suppose.

[Cjmeck]

Google "The Complete Adoption Book". It was very informative and helped us learn about the different avenues of adoption. If you then decide to pursue adoption, you would decide either domestic, international or foster care. And from that decision, you start researching agencies. And when you get to the agency point; check the BBB, or ask on this website for people's experiences with certain agencies to help you narrow it down. Goodluck.