[BabyBoy2008]

I am due in eight weeks and the closer it gets the more I know I can not do this. Is it to late for us? I can not afford this baby and we did not want anymore. I feel like a terrible person but I want to get this done and over with quick. He is healthy, my husband and I are both white Irish and I don't know what else? I dont do drugs or drink ever!!He had an detailed untrasound and he doesnt have any health problems. I am diabetic and have high blood pressure though and other healht problems. I need a fmaily that is SURE they can take him home from the hospitol. I dont want to bring him back here because I know I would probably never turn back. Is it too late to find a family to help us?? I dont have a lawyer or anything. I am due July 29th and we are sure it's a boy.

[Gwen72]

You should talk to an adoption agency or attorney that specializes in adoption in your state. They will show you portfolios with a letter and pictures from several hopeful adoptive parents and you choose who you would like to meet. Hopefuly you will be able to make arrangements for pictures and letters and visits after placement before you give birth. You should also see a professional to help you through this time in your life. This is a life altering decision. Good Luck with whatever you choose.

[Helpus]

Gwen72 is right if you are really serious about giving your child up for adoption, you can look at the profiles online at adoption.com or you can call an adoption lawyer or agency to help you along with the process. Good Luck!!!!!

[FullQuiverMamma]

You can call your county and tell them of your plans. They have many pre-screened and fingerprinted families who can do a direct hospital placement. You might be able to even peruse profiles with a county social worker and he/she can help you find what you are wanting in an adoptive family.

many blessings~
fqm

[blessedbybug]

Originally Posted by BabyBoy2008

I am due in eight weeks and the closer it gets the more I know I can not do this. Is it to late for us? I can not afford this baby and we did not want anymore. I feel like a terrible person but I want to get this done and over with quick. He is healthy, my husband and I are both white Irish and I don't know what else? I dont do drugs or drink ever!!He had an detailed untrasound and he doesnt have any health problems. I am diabetic and have high blood pressure though and other healht problems. I need a fmaily that is SURE they can take him home from the hospitol. I dont want to bring him back here because I know I would probably never turn back. Is it too late to find a family to help us?? I dont have a lawyer or anything. I am due July 29th and we are sure it's a boy.

First off, you are not a terrible person. Have you gotten counseling in order to talk through your options for your child? I would suggest before you talk to an agency, that you seek counseling from someone who can help you determine why you may want to place your child for adoption. It's a lifelong decision. And you have time to do make it. Even if you choose to place your child, there is no timeline... you can take all the time you need, even after the baby is born to make this decision. Please talk to someone who might be able to offer many perspectives.

Also, you might post your question in the Considering your Options forum here. I suggest this because I think you might need to hear the perspective of mothers who have placed their children in another family.

I wish you peace...

[julie23]

i agree with blessed by bug... you have plenty of time to make this decision....

as a birthmom... and in particularly, a birthmom who experienced broken promises from the adoptive family... I strongly encourage you take the time you need to make this decision....

both the decision as to whether or not to place your baby...

AND the extraordinarily important decision of choosing an adoptive family....

Personally, I am a fan of ETHICAL adoption agencies... The adoption agency we used was extraordinary... which was very important to me... they treat birthmothers like mothers, first.... and they treat birthmothers like first class citizens... and they provide lots of counseling...

they don't even call it "adoption counseling"... but rather "options counseling"

counseling is super important....

also... my adoption agency works with out of state birthmothers... and in New Mexico... post-adoption communication agreements ARE legally enforceable...

AND my adoption agency would totally back a birthmother in going to court to enforce the agreement that the adoptive parents originally made....

obviously, post-adoption communication agreements are super important to me...

anyhow... you have plenty of time... i also agree that reading about others experiences is important...

good luck,
julie

[kindredspirit]

My heart goes out to you. It is a hard decision to go through and will take all you have to walk away.

Here are some more options for you. You could go through the agency, private adoption lawyer, but if you have a need to get to the know adoptive parents, you might look in the local newspapers for ads or on the websites like parentprofiles.com or adoptingprofiles.com. There are more out there. Explore your options. You should not have to pay for any fees, the aparents should pick up them.

As a bmom I did not like the agencies and went through a private adoption lawyer.

As a amom I still do not get the warm fuzzy feelings from agencies and still going through other routes. I got my ason through private ads. Now while looking for my second I still have private ads plus website profiles.

Read a lot of profiles. Good Luck!!!

[SchmennaLeigh]

Why are you feeling this way? Is it purely financial? Have you sought out counseling to work through these emotions? Please research antepartum depression (meaning depression during pregnancy). Don't do anything based solely on finances (as a note: adoptive parents aren't not guaranteed to be without financial burden or problem; they, too, are human) or based solely on depression (you can find the help you need).

Please research and reach out.

[mg1970]

It is not too late to make a decision on an adoption plan, in fact it seems like you have plenty of time. Some people call the adoption agency from the hospital after they give birth. And there is no reason you have to match before birth -- you can decide that at any time.

However, I do suggest you do take this time to review all of your options and obtain counselling so that whatever decision you make -- you feel solid and comfortable with.

Good luck,
M

[bromanchik]

I strongly suggest you get counseling before you make such a life-altering decision. Tis a decision that will effect you, your husband and your children for a lifetime.

There are also agencies that do cradle care, i.e. the baby goes into foster care until you make a fully informed decsion. There is nothing wrong with doing cradle care if you do not want to take the baby home.

If you need help finding counseling or an ethical agency, pm me.

[bmomto2_momto2]

I think that all of the responses to this post have been wonderful. I wanted to respond but I feel that the responses posted so far have said the most important things. I am glad to see such concern for the pregnant mother. Please listen to their advice BabyBoy2008. This is a much bigger decision than you can probably fathom at this time. It is not one that should be rushed for any reason. I hope all works out well for you and your family.

[Isabo]

Please get counseling from a non-adoption agency related counselor. Please take all the time you need. If you take advice from anyone on this site, please take it from bromanchik, who posted earlier on this thread. She is a professional AND a first mother - she knows whats its like to relinquish a child for adoption. I have read her posts for years, and she is very reputable.


Hugs and good luck to you

[Sniffles]

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If you see a post please report it, or if you get a pm like this, please forward it to a moderator and we will take care of it immediatly.

Thank you.