[mandalinn]

I was here last year and ready to start our process in Guat, but things came up and our lives changed a bit.

Now here we are wanting to start our adoption journey again, but now we aren't sure what road to take.

My hubby's sister and bil just adopted a beautiful baby girl domestically and she is the light of our lives and such a joy to have in our family. So now domestic is on our radar.

We haven't tested infertile, but due to medications I am on for anxiety and an issue with my hip joint getting pregnant is not really the best choice for us. Also, we tried for a while with no luck, so I am not sure if it is even physically possible. This has been a very easy decision for me, but a hard one for my husband, but he knows that it isn't worth the risks to me just to have a biological child.

We really feel strongly about adopting an infant first and then an older child later as we have more parenting experience, so domestic fits the bill.

I have a ton of questions, but for now will just ask a few.

Will our fertility be an issue with an agency?

Is it best to use an agency in your home state and/or adopt a child from there.

Anyone in the FL area that can help me find an agency or make suggestions? Please PM me.

Anyone else new in this decision and possibly want be email buddies??? I just need someone to bounce questions & ideas off of.

I am glad to be back and looking forward to starting my journey and being a part of this community!

[tinktink]

Hello, and welcome back!
I don't post much, but I am quite addicted to this darn site.
I don't have any idea what direction this adoption journey has in store for me. My husband wants to be married a bit longer before making any firm decisions, I am chomping at the bit to get going, but trying to enjoy being newlyweds!
I don't have answers, but best of luck to you!

[ess922]

Hi Amanda,

Its such an exciting and nerve-wracking time where you're at just starting out. I remember it well (our kids are still very little 2.5 and 3 mos)... Anyway, wanted to try to answer your q's. Feel free to ask more or PM me if you prefer. I'm happy to help if I can.

[quote=mandalinn]
I have a ton of questions, but for now will just ask a few.

Will our fertility be an issue with an agency? For some agencies, yes. For some, no. You'd need to ask the particular agency. I have a medical problem rather than infertility. We lived in NY at the time (just moved to NJ). And we used an atty. That could also be a route you explore, just using a lawyer.

Is it best to use an agency in your home state and/or adopt a child from there.
Most people say yes, stay in-state if its possible. Its better to be able to meet face to face with your agency/workers. Ultimately, an in-state birth family would also be better both for the process (no ICPC, clearance between two states needed to bring a baby home to a different state from where baby was born) and for the future relationship for the child and his/her birthfamily. If you are planning on open adoption, it makes it easier the closer you are. Our kids' bmoms are thousands of miles away and it makes visits tough.

Anyone in the FL area that can help me find an agency or make suggestions? Please PM me.
I know of an agency there. Not quite sure I'd recommend it as the costs are quite high 25-40k. But I'll send it to you via PM to check out...

Anyone else new in this decision and possibly want be email buddies??? I just need someone to bounce questions & ideas off of.
Even though I'm not new at this and we are most likely done adopting, happy to have you bounce questions and ideas off if you'd like.

Good luck on your adoption journey!

[StorkWatcher]

Hi, Manda! Welcome!

Just wanted to pop in with my advice:

I was also worried if infertility (in our case, no medical tests to confirm we're infertile, just after almost 10 years and no kids, you have to wonder! We did not want to pursue any medical assistance, but felt adoption was our road to take!) would need to be confirmed before we could sign with an agency.

We used our local Catholic Charities' agency, and they did not require us to submit anything regarding possible infertility. We just explained that we always wanted kids, couldn't conceive naturally and wanted to adopt our first child.

We also chose our agency because they work only w/ expectant moms and birth moms within our state, so we wouldn't have added expense for travel and interstate adoption. Although many people prefer to work with agencies who work regionally or nationwide, in the hopes that their wait will be shorter.

Check everything out, and do what feels is the best fit for you!

Good luck!

[tobeafamily]

Originally Posted by mandalinn

I have a ton of questions, but for now will just ask a few.

Will our fertility be an issue with an agency?

Probably not. Fertility (or lack of) is an issue only when its' unresolved for the couple - i.e. they are unable to conceive, and are still struggling with that emotionally. Since you both emotionally have resolved your fertility decision - not to attempt conception for health reasons - this should not be an issue.

Originally Posted by mandalinn

Is it best to use an agency in your home state and/or adopt a child from there.

You will need a homestudy and post-placement supervision done by a qualified entity - such as a licensed child placing agency or independent social worker - in your state to successfully complete an adoption. You will also need an attorney experienced in adoption within your state's laws.

Whether your child is born in your state of residence is not 'better' or 'worse'. Some people prefer not to travel a distance, others do not mind. Having a newborn in a hotel room, and the added paperwork of ICPC, can make things more interesting. It doesn't make the experience 'worse', just different. At one time you were considering overseas adoption, which also would have involved travel. This would be less complicated.

Originally Posted by mandalinn

I am glad to be back and looking forward to starting my journey and being a part of this community!

Best of luck.

Regina