[TaraC93]

We are adopting a baby boy due 8/13 in NJ. My dh and I are in VA.

We found the couple wanting to give their baby up for adoption.

Has anyone done a private adoption?
I have a lawyer already... so do I need to go through an agency??? It would save us so much money to do a private adoption versus an identified adoption.

Pros/cons???

I am so new to all of this and really need your advice!
Thanks
Tara

[HBV]

You will still need to get your homestudy done, whether you do a private or an agency adoption. Attorneys certainly can be less expensive if you have identified a birthmother already, but there are fewer controls on things like birthmother expenses, and not as many resources for the birthmother in terms of medical care or counseling.

Agencies have more of a set fee, and generally offer counseling to bmoms and help facilitate if you're going to have an open arrangement. Some agencies will allow you to work with more than one agency at a time, some require exclusive contracts. I would look not just at fees, but at what services they provide to the birthmother (you may not think this is important now, but trust me, when you are in the midst of the situation you will want the bmom to have access to counseling) and at how comfortable you feel with the agency facilitator. They should be able to give you general statistics about the waiting times, but shy away from any agency who "guarantees" you'll have a baby in a certain time frame.

Talk to your lawyer about what resources he/she has for birthmothers, and take a look at the post about Questions to Ask a Lawyer, below.