[daisy girl]

Maybe I am just being over protective of my heart but I am really doubtful that this adoption is going to really happen. We are connected to our birth mom and have been speaking with her at least once a week. We have also met her in person and really like her. But after each new conversation I become more and more less assured that this is going to happen. Nothing concrete has been said that would say to me "this is not going to happen" but I can't help feeling that way. Does anyone else feel this way?
- Daisy

[hopefulamom]

I have not been matched with a birthmother, so I cannot completely relate to your feelings, but I am WAITING to be matched and I feel this way! I feel like it's not really going to happen...EVER!!! I don't know why I feel this way b/c my social worker keeps telling me that it will, but I think it's a very common feeling!

You are not alone...I promise! I think it's a really normal feeling to have. I'm sure it's so difficult to try and be excited about the possibility that your this much closer to having a child, but to stay guarded at the same time!!! UGHH...just one more roller coaster ride!!!
Anyways, just know that you are not alone and maybe journaling your feelings will help (if you're not already doing that)
Good luck and hang in there!

[melissana]

Originally Posted by daisy girl

Maybe I am just being over protective of my heart but I am really doubtful that this adoption is going to really happen. We are connected to our birth mom and have been speaking with her at least once a week. We have also met her in person and really like her. But after each new conversation I become more and more less assured that this is going to happen. Nothing concrete has been said that would say to me "this is not going to happen" but I can't help feeling that way. Does anyone else feel this way?
- Daisy

Hi Daisy, After having one bmom change her mind, I became anxious but not doubtful. You have to have faith and believe in God that he will bless you with this. And it will happen.
Melissa

[daisy girl]

melissana - Thanks for your encouragement I really appreciate it. I am thinking that maybe since our potential birth mother is going through a lot of emotions this being her seventh month and it all becoming a little more real may be giving me some additional doubt. We have had very honnest and open communication and she shares a lot with me, which I am happy for but also gives me maybe too much to think about. What is going on with your current potential birth mother? I am sorry to hear that it didn't work out on your first time around

hopeful - I have started a journal for the baby and have been keeping it reader friendly for him but that is a good idea. Maybe I will get a journal for me that could be a good help in getting through adoption "labor" pains. Thanks for the idea. I will pray that you are matched soon.
Daisy

[SchmennaLeigh]

The seventh month is hard for an expectant Mother. The baby is moving with frequency, people from all sides are putting pressure on for all sorts of different reasons and, goodness, it's about this time that pregnancy gets thoroughly exhausting.

While I can't guarantee anything in your case, I personally took some time during the seventh to eight month of pregnancy... FOR MYSELF. I didn't want to talk to lawyers, the potential adoptive family or my family. I wanted to spend time with my daughter. I've found through a lot of reading that many an expectant mother considering placement goes through a similar phase, though the time frame varies.

Best of luck.

[StorkWatcher]

Daisy,
You also could be experiencing a little self-protection device by mentally preparing to distance yourself from the child by contemplating a negative outcome.

Basically, you're scared! A very normal fear of probably every adoptive (potential or actual) mother! It's okay to feel that way.

For some, they this even happens early on the process (like in mine) when you find yourself procrastination over finishing up some required paperwork or getting back to your agency about something during your homestudy.

I think a journal just for you would be good! I know I always tried to sound upbeat and positive when writing in the journal we were planning to keep, but then I'd email furiously about my doubts and negative thoughts and ventings to a friend who had been through the process before us. It helped a GREAT deal!

[daisy girl]

Wow you are all so "right on" with how I am feeling. I have been "burned" by mother nature twice and have never been pg longer than 3 months.

It is good to know that at 7 months so much changes within and outside of an expectant mother. I just need to keep myself in check and remember those things after our conversations instead of letting a lot of doubt in.

I know that if this is meant to be our child we will take him home in July so until then I guess I had better hold on tight until this part of the ride is over.

Thanks again for your support. - Daisy