[Needinfo50]

I don't know where to start or how to go about this. I am doing some research for my sister. She is, unfortunately, without a computer right now. What I need information about is non agency adoption. I know there is such a thing..Im just not sure how it works. Does anyone know any useful websites I could visit? I am also curious about just adopting from a friend or finding a teen birth mother who is not able to keep the baby? Has anyone done this or have any information about it? I know it would have to be legalized. Do you just have to get a lawyer? I maybe in the wrong place asking for this information. But I am just starting out and grasping for anything. If you can help..please do.
Thanks!

[hopefulamom]

Hi!
I'm kinda new at this whole thing too and we are using an agency for our adoption, but I had a few suggestions and thought that I would share them with you. The first and most obvious one is do research on the web, that's where you can find a lot of info. Secondly, I would say maybe your sister can find some adoption support groups in her area because they would certainly be able to help her. Another thing is that she could call an adoption attorney in your town and ask them how to begin. (She could probably get some names of reputable attys from people in an adoption group) From what I understand (because I knew someone that did it this way) she would still have to get a homestudy done and all that good stuff, so she would have to find someone to complete the home study and guide her through that process.
Like I said, I don't have first hand experience with this, so I apologize, but I just wanted to help in anyway that I can. I hope that these suggestions weren't too obvious and you think that it's crazy that I responded to your post. I'm sure that there are tons of people in this forum that have info to share with you...just hang in there!
It will take time and TONS of patience, but you really can find out a lot of stuff by talking to people and networking!
Good luck to your sister!!

[Needinfo50]

Ella,
Thank you very much for your reply. I appreciate any feedback..no matter what it is someone has to offer. Those are good suggestions and I will let her know. We are trying to put our heads together to come up with things. My sister has lost 2 babies and is scared to try again. But she so desperately wants a baby to love. So I hope something comes of this. Thanks again!

[Oliver1]

If you Google "adoption facilitators" or "non-agency adoption" or "private adoption" you will get a flood of results. Depending on what state your sister is from, she may not be able to use a facilitator though. A homestudy needs to be completed by a social worker/agency no matter how the adoption is completed. She'll also need a good adoption attorney and some sort of profile. If your sister isn't private about her adoption plan, a good way to network is to contact all family and friends, asking them to keep her in mind for any potential situations they may be aware of. I know of situations in which families have left homemade business cards about wanting to be parents at clinics, under windshields of cars at proms and other high school events, etc. Calling the DHS of the state and asking if there are any current situations available is also an option. The key is definitely persistence and you can't have too much knowledge or ask too many questions!!! Hope this helped some...

[Needinfo50]

Yes, this did help. Thank you so much!! I will be talking to her later on this evening and I will mention those ideas to her. Anything is worth a try.

[steph4673]

If you'd like to PM me I could give you some info on facilitators. DH and I are using one and the experience has been awesome. Let me know in your PM where your sister lives and I'll let you know whether or not you can procede with the facilitator adoption! Talk to you soon!

[Needinfo50]

My sister lives in Texas. What does a facilitator do?

[steph4673]

Basically what a facilitator does is match you up with bmoms that are looking for specific characteristics. Your sister would fill out an application and send in some pics (usually of the family and the house). You then would wait until you were approved. Facilitators (the reputable ones) "fill slots". What I mean is, they look for families that basically match up to what their bmoms are looking for. They then have to do the Dear BMom Letter and you're on your way. We are contracted with a facilitator that we love! PM me if you want more info!

[marilyna]

Another option for your sister is adopting through the foster care system. Our experience has been wonderful and financially much better than other options. We are also in Texas. If I can give you more specific information, please send me a private message.

[tobeafamily]

Domestic parental placement adoptions that do not involve a licensed child placing agency are called 'independent adoptions'.

Requirements are the same: you will need the services of at least one attorney to handle legal aspects and the services of a licensed social worker to provide your homestudy, prepared in accordance with your state's laws, and your post-placement supervision and reporting.

If you don't know of an attorney with experience in domestic parental placement adoption, you can check the member listing for the American Academy of Adoption Attorneys at www.adoptionattorneys.com. Call at least three in your local area and ask about fees, services, experience, etc.

Depending on the laws of your state, you may or may not be able to use the services of a paraprofessional such as a 'facilitator', 'referral service', 'networking/marketing/advertising service'. All of these are (except in CA) euphanisms for unlicensed, un-regulated services. You pay essentially for them to connect you with expectant parents considering adoption.

Because they are not licensed or regulated in any way (except in CA), literally anyone can say they do this. As a result, you have the good, the bad, and the downright fraudulent.

Personally, I've found that despite protestations otherwise, you don't need them. We adopted while residing in a no-facilitator state (VA), and our agency has a reputation for helping people adopt a child of any ethnic background within a year. (For anyone considering a PM, they only work with VA familes). How? Well, they network, have been around for 12+ years and have a good reputation (my OB/GYN was one of those who recommended them). Plus, they showed us how we can network - via business cards, flyers in our cars, mail to doctors and hospitals, classified ads, etc.

Some good resources:

Adopting in America: How to Adopt Within One Year by Randall Hicks
The Open Adoption Experience by Lois Molina

JMHO, best of luck.

Regina