[The Beach Bears]

We just stumbled across this site….thank the lord.

So here’s the situation my wife and I have one child and we are able to have other children. We wish to adopt, we have a connection with child that is need of a home she is the niece of my collage roommate, her parents are unable to take care and she has been with her grandparents since 6 months, five years ago and her grandmother just passed, her grandfather is going into assisted living. I can not begin to tell you the anxiousness, questions and feeling of excitement and dread that this has risen in both my wife and I. We have 100’s of questions and we hope to find some of the answers.



Here are a couple questions:



We are looking for a lawyer and home study in upstate NY near Albany?

Do you have to go through an agency? Or can you go independent?

What is the cost on a home study and time I have heard anything from $300 - $3000 and three to six months?





We have an appointment with a lawyer out of the phone book on the 23rd and the family on the 13th.



Thanks and any info or threads we could read would be great.

[mcnh63]

HI
We are in upstate NY also. Syracuse area.
First off you will have to have a home study done. This is mandatory in NY state. I really don't know about going through an agency or independent. I will say that we love our agency that we are going through and I know they work also in your area. You can PM me for the name as well as the cost. They also have told us about some lawyers. I'm very impressed with them so far and have received great references on them from others before we started. Also they are VERY quick.
Do not get a lawyer out of the phone book they NEED to be up on adoption law!!!! This has been told to us by many people.

We stated working on an international adoption since foster to adopt was taking so long and we were becoming very unsure about it. We are now in the process of going through our homestudy all over again.
Good luck and let me know if you want the name of our agency.

[The Beach Bears]

Thanks for responding,



I would love to PM you, so what is PM? We have done a lot of research in books and I have spoken to two couples that have adopted successfully internationally and they have been very helpful, but there experience and the books focus on infants does not seem to be giving us a clear path, there seems to be about seven different ways to adopt and three different ways to adopt this child in particular. We are moving on the path of using a lawyer to facilitate this adoption, with a private home study. I did look the lawyer up (on the internet) she would seem to work solely on adoption through the firm she works for, so we made an appointment. While I am sure she would be fine we would just like to know should we look around? Barring an over the top cost and little or no time for us I think we would stay with our choice but should we look on principal, you don’t buy the first car you test drive, why would I not at least meet with another lawyer to see?



We are hoping the lawyer can put us on to a private social worker and we can get started on the home study, again we have heard all kinds of things about this. We have already started gathering paper work and seeing doctors, until we know we (both the family) and we are moving forward in the same direction we are going to wait on asking references. What was the one thing that held up the home study the most for you? That would be a great question. We are working under a bit of a time constraint the family wants to place her before the next school year and the leading family member is 7 months pregnant with her second child, the grandfather is 86 years old and they will have to move around with family members until this is resolved. No the birth mother and father have not relinquished there rights, the father is unconcerned and not with the mother, the mother wavers form yes to no on an hourly basis due to a medical condition and we and the rest of her family are hoping she sees through to give this chance to her child and this gift to us and the state does not have to step in.



I guess while it does not matter about the money I am trying to figure out if it is just going to be some credit card debt ($3000), an personal loan ($5-7500) or a second mortgage ($10000+) it would seem that it may not be as expensive as a international adoption or a domestic infant adoption (with medical or advertising cost) We are getting a bedroom put together, working on paper work and calling the family to work out a memorial service visit to speak with the Grandfather (who is excided that it may end up being us) all under a veil of silence from friends, family and our own child to lessen any disappointments. Not message boards though here I guess I’m going to spill like an over flowing sink. I have added a list of documents for the home study can any suggest anything that they know is need for NY?



Thanks for all the help, in advance



PS. While talking to the mother of one of the couples who adopted international while I told her the story she picked up the picture of her son from her desk and cradled it while she told me her thoughts, I wish you all the success and that felling in your heart.

• Copy of Driver's License or State ID Father
• Copy of Driver's License or State ID Mother
• Local Police Precinct clearance Father (must be notarized by police station)
• Local Police Precinct clearance Mother (must be notarized by police station)
• Set of fingerprints for each family member 13 and older for home study file
• Copy of Birth certificate Father (Done)
• Copy of Birth certificate Mother (Done)
• Copy of Marriage certificate
• Copy of any Divorce degree(s) (Not applicable)
• Physicians Health Report Father (form received at intake interview)
• Physicians Health Report Mother (form received at intake interview)
• Medical insurance coverage letter-per the Affidavit of Responsibility. (This is a letter from your medical insurance carrier that states you are covered and a child will be covered by your medical insurance from the moment of adoptive placement. It is law that the child is covered but this letter provides the evidence you have insurance.)
• 3 letters of reference from non-relatives.

[tobeafamily]

Check the member listing for the American Academy of Adoption Attorneys - available online at www.adoptionattorneys.com. Call at least three in your local area and ask for experience in similar situations, services and fees. These attorneys will also be able to advise you on what the laws are regarding the use of licensed child placing agencies - some states require them, others do not.

A lot will turn on what the legal relationship this child's grandmother and grandfather have had with this child - i.e. whether they were ever named the legal parents or had legal custody. If this was an informal relationship, then the case can become more complicated. An attorney can provide you with best counsel.

HTH, best of luck.

Regina

[The Beach Bears]

Yes, that's right to one of the major questions we have and are hoping to get an answer today when they go to the lawyer, It is even worse than that the Grandmother was on all the documents not the Grandfather whom is not the father of the Birth mother (just raised her since birth), they were living in Florida so we think that she was the legal guardian. We are hoping that the rights can be turned over to the Grandfather until she is available for adoption. Right now they are on “vacation” with the family in NY until the situation is resolved……and the how is this different than anything we read in the books continues. We will look into that link and make some calls. Thanks again



Oh and I figured out PM