[txhope]

I just received a phone call from a very good friend. Her brother and his girlfriend are due towards the end of Feb and live in North Texas. They are both addicts, she has been using herion and he uses and deals all sorts of stuff. She has received no prenatal care and has only taken vitamins. He already has a 5 year old daughter that he does not interact with and has not been paying child support for. In fact he has a court date later this week because of that. The girlfriend has asked my friend and her husband to take the baby home from the hospital and either adopt it or find a good home for the baby. She will give them custody (all legally) and she understands that she is in no position to parent a child and wants to relinquish her rights. He, if the baby is a boy, may not voluntarily relinquish his rights. My friend is talking with CPS and legal teams to make sure she does everything she needs to do to be able to take the baby home from the hospital instead of the baby going to a non-family foster home. My friend has also asked us (my hysband and I) to consider adopting the baby. We had planned to move forward with adoption at the beginning of next year after another year of fertility treatments, so it's definately not something we're oppossed to and something we would like to do.

My question is, what do we do now to figure out laws, what steps do we need to take to proceed, if we choose to? I assume this would be a laywer assisted adoption, but I haven't done nearly enough research yet.

Thanks, I could really use some advice here.

[tobeafamily]

You would first want to obtain the services of an attorney experienced in adoption. The American Academy of Adoption Attorneys keeps its' member list online at www.adoptionattorneys.com. Call at least three in your local area and compare experience, services, fees, etc.

You'll need to have a homestudy completed, which your attorney can help you arrange. Right now gather your birth certificates, marriage license and any divorce decrees. If you don't have, order at least three copies with seal.

Once you've obtained your attorney, pass the attorney's information on to the expectant parents and see what they do. If they're serious, they'll contact the attorney. If not, and it looks like this may well be a situation where CPS will be involved at birth, then your attorney should advise CPS of your interest.

Lastly, understand this child is drug-exposed in utero and there are likely nutritional issues. Take time to educate yourselves on ramifications of drug exposure and poor prenatal care. This baby deserves parents who are well educated and well prepared to meet their needs and to accept the possible consequences of their mothers' behaviors. If you feel like you can't handle the risks involved with parenting them, then it is perfectly OK to step aside and let somone who is ready to parent. No guilt, really.

HTH best of luck.

Regina

[txhope]

Thank you Regina for the advice! I'll go check out the website and start calling around tomorrow.