[jaenelle]

My husband and I have been married less than a year, and as I'm older, I don't really want to wait any longer than we have to to adopt. Are there any agencies that don't have the two-year marriage requirement, or any other way to get around that -- by adopting some other way or something?

[Tiggysgirl]

Hi ... we were having the same problem, in fact the agency here in our town said 3 yrs on their website. Our other problem is that we are 9 yrs apart, so I'm older and he's younger ... some of the agencies also require both parents to be 23 or even 25. I did end up contacting our agency and was very suprised to find out that they actually only require 1 year of marriage and for both to be 21.

You may want to at least contact them and ask ... there may be something that they do on a case by case basis.

Good luck and I hope that helped!
Amy

[jaenelle]

amy,

Thanks! That *did* help! I think I will contact some of the agencies and see if that's something they might be willing to work with us on.

[tondy24]

Hi Katie

My husband and I were just a little short of being married for 2 years when we started the process and it did not turn out to be a problem at all. We are also in our mid twenties like you and the agency was actually very excited to get a young couple. I'm sure you will be able to find an agency to work with.

[Acolo]

It all depends on the agency. We went to some that required three years and one that required one, and one that said they required three, but would work around it if we were good candidates. I'd be forward and ask the agency. I do have to say though, that you aren't old! I'll be 30 in January & am impatiently waiting Good luck to you!

[jaenelle]

Originally Posted by Acolo

It all depends on the agency. We went to some that required three years and one that required one, and one that said they required three, but would work around it if we were good candidates. I'd be forward and ask the agency. I do have to say though, that you aren't old! I'll be 30 in January & am impatiently waiting Good luck to you!

Thanks! I am not old for some parts of the country, I'm sure, but I live in a part of the country where people routinely are married and have at least two children by the time they are my age, so by comparison I feel *very* old.

[aniles]

Have you thought about international? Some countries may not require a minimum length of marriage. I'm not sure - I know China has a minimum, but others may not. Good Luck!

[jaenelle]

Originally Posted by aniles

Have you thought about international? Some countries may not require a minimum length of marriage. I'm not sure - I know China has a minimum, but others may not. Good Luck!

Yes, we found an agency that will let us adopt through Guatemala without being married two years. I have yet to hear any feedback on them so I am going to wait a bit until I hear more from them and about them until we decide. I'm not sure we can afford Guatemala anyway -- we don't make very much money. Let's put it this way -- the fees for Guatemala are just about a year's salary for DH and I combined. I guess we really need to do some soul-searching and see if this is really the right option for us. I really want it to be; just not sure how we are going to afford it before we're 90.

[GuatMommy2Be]

Kati --

Can you take a loan out? Do you own a home that you can borrow against? When we went for our loan, because we rent, we couldn't get a loan large enough for Guatemala. VERY dissapointing.

Another option we looked into was going through a faciliator. Her fee is around $9500.00 .... and then you need a lawyer. Which I don't think they were too much.. If you are interested in the site, PM me.

[jaenelle]

Originally Posted by GuatMommy2Be

Kati --

Can you take a loan out? Do you own a home that you can borrow against? When we went for our loan, because we rent, we couldn't get a loan large enough for Guatemala. VERY dissapointing.

Another option we looked into was going through a faciliator. Her fee is around $9500.00 .... and then you need a lawyer. Which I don't think they were too much.. If you are interested in the site, PM me.

Well, we could take out another loan, I suppose, but we already owe on our home and both our cars. Trust me, none of it's that great, it's just that we're just getting started, mostly. We owe about what our home is worth, and I really don't feel comfortable borrowing over that, although our original mortgage is for $15,000 more than we currently owe. We *do* have 4 acres of land in town, that we are trying to sell about 3 of. Our house is on the other acre. I would like to get between $20,000-$30,000 for it but have no real idea whether anyone would pay that much. If we could get that sold, that would be a major help, obviously. Between that and just saving what we can, I think we might be able to make it.

I agree -- I wish adoption weren't so expensive. I think there are a lot of families that would adopt in a heartbeat but can't because they don't have the money to afford the adoption fees, even if they could afford to raise the child once it was here. The extra you have to pay to get the child here seems to be the dealbreaker for a lot of people I've talked to -- I know, right now it is for us. I have hope that we can make something work eventually, but I don't like waiting for that "eventually" to come!

[aniles]

Remember, there's lots of help out there like grants and things. Try to do a google search for "adoption grants" and see what comes up. There are so many resources out there. Don't discount anything yet! Good luck!

[jaenelle]

Originally Posted by aniles

Remember, there's lots of help out there like grants and things. Try to do a google search for "adoption grants" and see what comes up. There are so many resources out there. Don't discount anything yet! Good luck!

Yep, I've been looking around some; there are lots of grants and things -- I suppose we might qualify for a few of them if we worked hard enough at it.

[Tiggysgirl]

We're in the same boat Kati ... I know we could provide for a child should one come to us, but I know that right now we can't afford the 25k the agency wants. We could maybe pursue international adoption through Guatemala while my husband is deployed, especially since there you only need one parent to travel. However, I keep going back and forth about it.

Do I really want to go through all of it alone? If we waited until he was back, then most likely we'd be placed right before he deployed again (assuming this lovely war isn't settled by then). If we're going to do it, I'd rather him have time to get to know his child before a bit before he has to leave again. Then, I also wonder (and maybe this sounds selfish???) if I want to take everything we have and instead of giving us a cushion and paying things off we'd be spending it ... that sounds awful, but it's so frustrating that other people are able to just HAVE a baby and we have to dig under the couch cushions to find every bit of money we have to get one.

Okay, I'm having a bad day LOL I will have to look into those grants. Guatemala is the only international we can do because my hubby just can't travel like I can because of work ... But, good luck to you ... I really hope that you guys figure it out and hopefully you'll get that land sold and have your baby!!!

Amy

[JenniferB11]

We're using a facilitator so we didn't have to worry about age or length of marriage.

[Ilovebigbird]

some agencys and attorneys will allow this but the birthparents get to pick the parents.