[Storkwatcher05]

We have been waiting for 7 months. I called our agency last week to check in and learned that our profile was shown 16 times since June 1st. I cant help but feel very down and confused. Out of 16 - Why didnt we get picked ? Is there something wrong ? Our agency told us our profile is perfect its just our connection hasnt been made yet. I come to this forum for strength because there are people out there who have gone / or going through what I am now. I came here for strength. I am losing my postitive outlook and need my friends here to put me back on track.

[my_igit]

It will happen and yes it is very hard waiting! We networked on our own (letters, emails, etc.) so I always felt like we were DOING something. We adopted our daughter at birth- we were matched through our lawyer. Total time from start to finish was 4 months. Can you do networking on your own? Our daughter is now 2 and we can't wait to start again. Try to stay positive- although its hard! Keep thinking about the baby that will be yours- you never know what tomorrow may bring!!

[Hopeful_Jen]

We have been waiting almost a year. There are many that have been waiting longer than us. Waiting is hard, but we are strong. Our children are worth waiting for.

Please remember that you aren't waiting for someone to "pick you", you are waiting for your child to be ready.

[stone]

Just remember....God has the perfect plan.You will be matched in his time despite the difficult wait!

[Casey677]

Hey there! You have only been waiting a short time... it WILL happen. Don't worry!

Our wait lasted 13 months and we had three failed adoptions. Our angel finally arrived in June. She couldn't be more perfect for us if she tried, lol!!!

Casey

[RosaZ]

We have also been waiting 7 months ... and know that we've been shown at least 8 times. We've also had positive feedback from the agencies about our profile, but I can't help but wonder what we could change.

I can TOTALLY relate to feeling rejected and discouraged. Being a person of faith, I try to remember our match will happen in God's good time ... but I can't help being afraid it won't ever happen. "Let go and let God" is awfully hard at times, as is being patient.

I wish you all the best and hope you will be able to post positve news here soon. When it happens we'll look back and realize we shouldn't have fretted so much. :-)

Rosa

[Storkwatcher05]

Rosa, Thank you for writing. It really helps meeting people like you because I dont feel alone. Adoption is an emotional roller coaster and its good to have friends who understand. A few weeks ago I asked my agency - Has there been anyone who never have been chosen and their answer was no. Every day I wake hoping it will be today and Every Night I go to bed feeling empty. But one day (hopefully) my time will come and so will yours ! I'd love to stay in touch with email so send me a PM and give me your email address. We can keep each others spirits up while we wait !!

[tobeafamily]

Storkwatcher,

I think we've all been there. The night the call came that connected us with our son I was on the elliptical trainer pounding out "It's not FAIR THIS WILL NEVER HAPPEN!". I worked so hard one of the trainers came by and said 'Take it Easy!'. The look I shot him was not-nice.

Then my phone rang.

One thing that helped us with the stress was doing our own personal networking in addition to the agency's efforts. We set goals - leave 10 business cards in public places a day, put up 5 flyers in landromats a week, etc. It helped that we felt we were DOING something, not just sitting and waiting.

HTH, hang in there.

Regina

[Hoping4ababy]

My husband and I have been waiting for 10 month's now for our "call" and since we started the process back in December 2004, have only had two little nibbles(in January) and of course neither panned out. Since then, nothing. Our agency tells us that we have been shown numerous times and in each instance we have ended up in the top two, but the other couple was always chosen because they didn't have children yet(we have a 3 1/2 year old through adoption). It's hard for us to know that the reason we are not getting picked is because we are parents already, but on the other hand, I've heard from people that weren't chosen because they don't have children yet so it really does go both ways. The waiting is extremely hard, but we know that there is someone out there for us, we just have to find her, as do you. Your time will come just like ours and it will be perfect. Hang in there.

Kenna
Hoping4ababy

[Dee1234]

Hi,
There is no rhyme or reason as to why some people get matched quickly and others do not. We have been waiting more than 1 1/2 years despite dilligent networking efforts. It is definitely hard waiting and we do get discouraged. But we just pick ourselves back up and keep on trying. Right now we have a couple of potential situations that have come our way and are hoping that one of them will be it for us. If neither works out, it will be o.k. We really believe we will find our child one day.

Hang in there!

[kidbest2]

I cannot for the life of me understand why people are 'WAITING" all this time for referrals?No reason to be waiting because there are too many children WAITING!

I run a list that is posting children (International and Domestic)who are waiving Fees..Costs are Really down.
I adopted 2 children who are my Life and it was NOT that hard to FIND them,Accept the referral, Bond,travel,have my family.Flame me ,if you want, but there are children out there that are waiting for you!Go find them!

[AwaitingBeloved]

Hi,
I understand how you are feeling. We started our adoption process on Feb. 13, we completed our homestudy and "Dear Birthmother" letter in May, so had been waiting since then. It seems like eternity. Especially if you did infertility treatments first. I don't know what the answer is, but keep hoping. That's what will keep us going.

We have had some luck. We had a few bites over the months, but no match until a few weeks ago. On Sept 14 we had our first conversation with a ** who is due in March. We've had a few conversations, the last one was about 3 weeks ago, when she told us she had "officially" picked us. We haven't heard from her since, hopefully she's just busy. Of course, there's the fear in the back of your mind that wonders what if it's more than that? I have the same fears, that we'll be the first couple that our agency has been unable to place. They say this is a common fear, and that it's normal, but that doesn't make the fear any less. Anyway, keep on hoping, because you will be matched. And who knows, maybe when you are, your baby will be born soon after!! I hope you get good news very soon.

Take care,
Julie