[dr.kad]

Greetings all!

Well, our home study was FINALLY approved by the state. Now we've been left to find a child. Whew!

Well, my S.O. and I are using some national photolisting websites where we can make an inquiry about individual children.

I'm just not sure what to ask in such an initial email inquiry. Any suggestions would be great!

Thanks!!!

[kiwi]

Congrats on getting your homestudy finished!

Be mindful that not all of the photolisting sites are updated regularly, so an initial unquiry may only establish that the child is indeed still available for adoption and that their caseworker DOES answer emails. Good luck

[ALI143]

Are you able to look in the book at your social workers office? I find that's the place to find the kids that are still truelly available. The others on the web-site may still be available, but their caseworkers have some homestudies already. Are you checking www.nwae.org ? I know a few of the kids or foster parents on the site and really like them.

This is the fun part, but it's the hardest part of waiting!

[aMarylandfamily]

This is the fun but also frustrating part. Most agencies (i.e. NWAE which was just recommended to you) requires contact directly with your worker vs. the potential parent(s).

An initial e-mail should be sort and simple ... hello, my name is (names are), our adoption homestudy has just been completed and approved by the state of and we see that you have "chilld" still showing as awaiting placement. We are a strong family feeling best suited to parent a special needs child with " " or " " (filling in the blanks with something similar to "mild to moderate behavior/education disabilities"). We like to talk with you regarding "child" or any other children you are looking for a home for. Please contact us at .... Our workers name/phone number are:

Ditto on many children still appearing on websites as being closed for homestudy submittal or still available but you never know and in this phase of the journey - you will be a pain in the butt, and you will drive people crazy ... and you will go insane waiting for return calls/communication ... and you will (i repeat you will ... ha ha) continue to come to this board for advice, wisdom, opinions and the wealth of expertise that will asisst you when you expect it but even more when you don't.

Take care and keep us posted!

[dr.kad]

Thanks all for your input. One site I'm using is actually used quite a bit by state workers. The site actually makes suggestions based on our interests and allows us to track our queries about children in which we're interested.

One social worker already responded to my initial inquiry but I don't know what questions to ask him during that first phone conversation.

Again, thanks for your thoughts.

[aMarylandfamily]

You will be surprised at how easy the conversation "flows" once you start talking.

Some of the basic questions to ask start with the age and description of the child, why he is in care, what level of care he is in (foster home, group home, etc. ... if above a normal foster home level - why that level), how many placements he has had ... if multiple question why he was moved - that is one of the most important questions as it will clue you into alot of needs/issues, what treatment resources he is receiving, what special needs (i.e., ADHD), what medications if any he is on, what grade is he currently attending in school, how he gets along with peers and if there is any history of animal abuse or fire-setting. And now you are saying - all that in the first conversation - you won't need to ask those things - most social workers are prepared with all this information when they call and readily share it naturally (hope that makes sense) ... but make your self a list on paper and check off as he/she talks ... When they are done, they will ask if you are still interested ... unless you have had a major red flag request more information ... they usually will have to have it processed through your worker (confidentiality rules) but don't turn something donw until you have reviewed it all - once you have taken two or three of these calls you will know what and when you should automatically say "no thanks" or "I'm not sure we would be interested but will review additional information and advise" or "yes, we are definitely interested" but do remember often there's a tidbit of info in a child's file that might make him a non-match automatically for you that the worker didn't share ... and that is ok too - just don't "fall in love" until the time is right ... much of the frustration of waiting is wondering and wanting to read more positive into things only to be disappointed - take it slow and your journey will be fun along the way too.

Hope this helps

[dr.kad]

Yes, this helps! In fact, I'm copying and pasting your message into a Word doc I can use while on the phone with sw(s).

Thanks!!!!!!!