[Hoping4ababy]

Hi! My husband and I have been in the adoption process now for over 8 month's and have had only two opportunities presented to us. The first birthmother we had to turn down because her living expenses were SO high that we just couldn't afford to do it which completely broke my heart and the second birthmother turned us down because we already have a son (adopted in 2002) and she wanted a childless couple. Our adoption counselor told us that she has presented us to birthmothers numeous times and in each situation we have ended up in the top two, but the other couple has always been chosen because they don't already have children in their home. I find it hard to believe that every birthmother out there has a problem with us having a child already and it really breaks my heart that that is the reason that we are getting passed over. Has anyone else had the same experience? I would love to hear from you.

Kenna

[timbo30]

Kenna,

We have been approved and searching since Feb. 2005. We have been in the top 2 numerous times also. It drives me crazy. But it is better than having NO activity. The funny thing is many of the situations we don't get picked for is because of our lack of children or parenting experience. So I think it goes both ways. I am sorry you are so frustrated. Just no that you are not the only one. Waiting is hard. It is like an endless pregnancy. You know there will be a baby in the end but you don't know where the end it.

[Hopeful_Jen]

We have been passed over because we do not have children. That too is hard, especially when you are waiting for your first one.

In my experience, please try not to stress about the "reasons" you were not chosen this time. Try to focus on the fact that your dear little one has already been chosen for you, and that this precious child was chosen for another. We don't know why, or when, or how... but we know it will happen when it is right.

[want2adopt1]

My husband and I have been waiting for a year and a half. We have been chosen once and then the birthmother decided to parent. We have also had sitautions where we were presented, but we were not chosen. It does go both ways and it's hard to understand why things happen, but everyone says that when you get your baby, you will understand why it happened this way. Stay strong! It will happen! Shay