[dr.kad]

AGH!! My partner and I researched international, domestic/private, and domestic/state adoption and decided on trying to adopt a "special needs" (I hate that term because it's applied to minority children too) child in our state.



This process is frustrating. Dealing with the state has been a lesson in restraint. Every time there's been a hold up, our case worker says "I'll check into it," but she never does. She does a fairly good job of returning our calls but she doesn't seem to ever have new information.



I try reminding myself that state workers are over-extended, under-funded, and thoroughly exhausted but I still get crazy. There are so many children languishing in the system but the state is so slow. I wish I could say that the state is slow because it's being cautious, but I haven't gotten the sense that it's a thorough process (especially compared with domestic/private and international adoptions).



Well, like so many here, I just needed to vent about a frustrating process. Oh well…

Much luck to all those waiting!

[starsnstripes1]

That's one of the reasons we switched to international. We were trying to go through a state agency to adopt a special needs sibling group. We thought it would be an easy process since there are so many children that fit this description. A year later we were still at square one. We decided on international in April, and will be headed to china to pick up our 3 1/2 yr old son this winter!

The international route is expensive, but we just weren't getting anywhere before. Partially our fault, dh is military and kept getting orders, but with the public agency there was just no working around his schedule. Our private agency bent over backwards to accomodate us. It's sad...I think more people would adopt domestically if it were the easier option!

[motherinmind]

We opted out of the international route too for the same reasons, and are also trying to adopt a "special needs" child, which in Arizona means ANY child over 2 years of age! Anyhoo, we're using Catholic Social Services as a kind of liason service between us and the state, and it seems to be going well so far. The difference between the worker from CSS and a state social worker is mainly that after we're licensed, her sole job is to match kids with families, whereas the state social workers are, as you observed, overloaded with thousands of other issues, all equally pressing. She's an advocate for waiting parents, and can interface with the state more efficiently than we ever could.


I'd highly reccommend checking one of these private, not-for-profit services out...we were leery of the religious affiliation at first, but haven't run into the least bit of trouble or hint of attitude about our not being Catholic or even Christian. These folks are truly compassionate, dedicated people who want the best for kids.

Best of Luck!

[optimus]

I am going through the same thing. It is a difficult process.

[dr.kad]

Our home study was just approved so there's hope. Good luck to you guys!!

[Kat-L]

I just completed my homestudy with the state (county) to adopt child #2. I've been very happy with the process. When I adopted Maire-Kate in 1998, a private agency took 5.5 months to complete a homestudy. When I called the county in June about adopting another child, I thought for sure the process would take at least a year. The complete homestudy (including the required pre-adopt classes) took a total of 5 weeks. I'm already approved and waiting to be matched. For me, it's been a terrific experience so far. Because it's not my first time going through the process, I'm not quite as anxious as I was the first time around. Every state is different-and I'm SOO glad I contacted the state this time instead of going through a private agency.

[ALI143]

Been there! It got so bad after a year I wrote some pretty nasty letters and ended up in my worker's supervisors office threatening to go to China. (Not that I could actually afford it.)
1 1/2 months later I got a call to go to committee for a 6 mo. old
then two sisters, then a 3 year old boy, then a 1 year old boy. I CAN'T believe it!!! I've been to committee twice already but they were months apart. Now I have committee every two weeks till I finally get chose.
It'll happen for you too, I know it's hard to hear when there's NO proof so far. Have you done respite care for the age of child/ren you're hoping to adopt? I know workers look favorably on the experience it gives PLUS it'll keep you busy and is a ton of fun.

Vent Away-You're Going To NEED To,

[lady7982]

Can anyone tell me how an inter-state adoption works. We reside in Arizona and have inquired about 2 little girls in Nevada. Their case manager asked us to send her our homestudy, which our social worker did, and then their stopped accepting anymore homestudies after ours. I'm assuming that a group will now sit down and go over al of the homestudies and pick possible families. But, I'm not sure. Does anyone know how the process proceeds from the time they got our homestudy and stopped accepting others?

[Linny]

In my experience (not mine, but of others I know well).......if you haven't notified your agency about sending the homestudy to Nevada, you need to.
Once this goes to committee....sometimes the choice is told to you; sometimes to your agency.

If you are the chosen couple, the agencies, attorneys, etc who are involved, will (or at least should) do the paperwork for you. If the children are very small...they probably won't want to to a slow transition. If they are older, they may want to 'go it slowly' before the child actually moves into your home.
Just depends.
I hope this helps and I wish you luck.....

Sincerely,

Linny

[dr.kad]

My CW said that if the other state DCS selection committee is interested (after receiving the homestudy), they will contact the family's CW with additional information about the child.

I'm still learning about the process (My CW is also new to adoption--She's a foster parent CW who was assigned our straight adoption case). We've already sent off 4 homestudies without knowing that much about the children. I'm VERY uncomfortable with taking this approach, but I'm having a great deal--a GREAT DEAL--of difficulty getting in touch with CWs. By the time I get the CWs on the phone they've already stopped accepting case studies (this has happened so many times to us).

So, my CW thought it might be better if we go ahead and send inter-state homestudies even if it ends up not being a good match. This just seems like an inefficient approach.

Oh well...congrats to those who have a smooth matching experience.

[skitz]

We are going though the state adoption. But we have been very luck. We did what almost a year before we were picked for a sibiling group of 4. but once you get the kids in your home things will move faster. We have had very good luck with the county that the kids are from and they seem to know what they are doing. I know what you are feeling because I felt that way for some time. Just hang on in there.

[azhellos]

Originally Posted by ALI143

Been there! It got so bad after a year I wrote some pretty nasty letters and ended up in my worker's supervisors office threatening to go to China. (Not that I could actually afford it.)
1 1/2 months later I got a call to go to committee for a 6 mo. old
then two sisters, then a 3 year old boy, then a 1 year old boy. I CAN'T believe it!!! I've been to committee twice already but they were months apart. Now I have committee every two weeks till I finally get chose.
It'll happen for you too, I know it's hard to hear when there's NO proof so far. Have you done respite care for the age of child/ren you're hoping to adopt? I know workers look favorably on the experience it gives PLUS it'll keep you busy and is a ton of fun.

Vent Away-You're Going To NEED To,

I am very new to all of this but what does it mean committee? I would really like to know more about this committe thing.

[blessedbybug]

Oh, I completely understand. We started out hoping to adopt through Children's Services but it took them so long to get to our homestudy that we started working with a private agency. It ended up taking over two years for Children's Services to get to our homestudy. It was incredibly hard as we kept seeing situations come and go, call and say we were interested and they would not move on it. All I can say is continue to be the "sweet squeak" as my DH calls me (as opposed to the "snarly squeak" I am IRL)... hoping things move along for you soon...

[dr.kad]

Interesting that this thread is still going--guess it's cuz this is such a crazy process dealing with the state.

Well, my h and I have caught the eye of a couple CWs but nothing ever pans out. We withdrew from consideration one time because the boy's medical and social needs were so great; however, the other possible matches have come to nothing. What's so frustrating is how we've gotten calls to see if we're interested, then we never hear anything again.

It's about 6 mths since our hs approval and I feel like we're still at square 1. It's been a learning process, though.

I read back through these posts and wondered if we had the energy to switch to International--I can't stand the thought of starting over.

Oh well, I'm trying to hold on. Let me know how your situations turned out.

[8isenough]

When we adopted sibling group of 4 four years ago through our state (PA) it went really fast. Had the kids in our home withing 6 months from the date we started process. In PA they have the SWAN program (Statewide Adoption Network) where agencies all work together to get waiting kids adopted). I also was encouraged by my agency to be proactive and contact children's social workers on my own which I did. We found our kids on the internet and emailed their social worker who called me (at work) the same day and asked me to fax my homestudy to her which I did! It was amazing how great everyone was. Our kids are wonderful by the way!

Diana (Mom to Jermaine, Jhalonda, Jazz, Tahira, Anthony, Antoine, Josh & Jen)