[asilomar]

We are just starting out on the adoption journey, after 3 years of infertility. We will be choosing an agency soon, and getting the ball rolling.

I know I am probably putting the cart before the horse here, but I am a big list maker and like to be as prepared as possible. Does anyone have a good document list of the items required in the homestudy? Does it vary by state?

Would love any and all the help I can get!

Thanks in advance,
K

[tobeafamily]

It does vary somewhat by state. All will require:

For all documents I'd order at least 3 - you may need more than one and it never hurts to have extra:

Copies of your birth certificates with seal
Copies of your marriage license with seal
Copies of any divorce documents if needed

Other items - criminal background check, CPS check, DMV - will need to be ordered by your homestudy provider/agency.

HTH

Regina

[levigram]

Hi K,

Glad to hear you're thinking ahead. Before you choose an agency, I would suggest a list as well. Think about what you want from your agency other than a child. Do you want honesty, integrity, a good match with the family of the baby? Do you want an open, semi-open or closed adoption? If you're thinking about open or semi-open what does that mean to you? If you want closed, have you thought about why you want a closed adoption?

Those are just some "teasers" to start the ball rolling. Home study questions and lists are great to have, you can practice and pass those. You have the child and his or her family in your life forever.

Please feel free to pm me if you would like to explore further. I highly recommend you think about those questions, especially if you're uncomfortable with them or haven't thought about them before.

Happy journey.

[asilomar]

Thank you both. I have started requesting the basics, as I knew we'd need them. Never hurts to get some of the leg work done early.

Any other pointers? We are going to an info session at an agency on the 6th...any pointed questions I should ask while we're there?

Thanks again,
K

[tobeafamily]

First, read everything you can on domestic parental placement. Head to your library or bookstore. Some good books:

The Open Adoption Experience - Lois Molina
The Complete Idiot's Guide to Adoption
Dear Birthmother - Kathleen Silber
Secret thoughts of an Adoptive Mother - Janna Wolff
Adoption in America - How to Adopt within One Year by Randall Hicks

With any and all agencies ask:

1. How long have you been licensed?
2. How many domestic parental placement situations do you handle a year? This year? Last?
3. They should provide you with an itemized list of services and fees. On request they should provide you with a copy of their license.
4. Ask for their philosophy - why do they do domestic parental placements? How do they feel about openness? What support services will they provide you and any expectant parents making adoption plans?
5. Also ask for their after-hours procedures - how does it work?

Some other things:

Ask for references and check them.
Call your state licensing board and BBB to verify licensure and any complaint history.
Pay attention to how you 'feel' about them - you'll be working with them in very intense situations so it's important you're all comfortable.
Beware of any agency that 'pushes' you to go one way or another.

Also ask for recommendations on your own - your OB/GYN, religous leader, neighbors, are all good resources. The agency we selected came recommended from both our OB and our next-door neighbor.

There's a string on this board too that has listings of agencies and people you can PM to find out about their experiences. PM! People are happy to share their experiences good, bad and otherwise.

HTH

Regina

[asilomar]

Wow! Thanks! I'll get to the library as soon as I can!

[missyB77]

Hi there! Welcome. I sent you a message with some great links and help for these issues, I hope! There is so much reading you can do it is great to have people who have already BTDT to help you.

hugs