[somedayamom]

How do you know if you are ready to adopt? My dh and I are 24 years old and married for 4 years. We have a very strong marriage and would love to be parents. We have had trouble ttc and I am wondering if I really want to pursue IVF, etc. when there are so many children who need homes. We do not want to adopt an infant, but an older child (aged 2 or older). How do we know if we are ready to adopt? Are we too young? Is it a bad idea to adopt if we might conceive? Any advise would be apreciated.

Thanks.

[cathy102]

Originally Posted by somedayamom

How do you know if you are ready to adopt? My dh and I are 24 years old and married for 4 years. We have a very strong marriage and would love to be parents. We have had trouble ttc and I am wondering if I really want to pursue IVF, etc. when there are so many children who need homes. We do not want to adopt an infant, but an older child (aged 2 or older). How do we know if we are ready to adopt? Are we too young? Is it a bad idea to adopt if we might conceive? Any advise would be apreciated.

Thanks.

You will just know in your heart when it's time to adopt. We wanted our of children, so we tried IVF 2 times. That was not successful, so that is when we decided to adopt right after our IVF. I think we signed up with an Agency 2 weeks later. Our daughter came to us 11 months later.

I don't think you are too young to adopt. I don't think it's a bad idea if you want to adopt even if you can have your own kids.. Just search your heart. You will just have peace in your heart on what to do...

Best of luck in decided what you will do!!!

[somedayamom]

Thanks for the reply and the encouragement. We're still in the "considering it" stage, but I wouldn't be surprised if we start pursuing it before too long.

[julie27]

You and your husband sound alot like me and my husband. We tried ttc for two years and decided not to do IVF because we felt it would be better to adopt a baby that needed a home rather than force ourselves into a pregnancy. It still makes me sad that I cannot get pregnant, though. Anyway, we have never been told by a doctor that we are infertile so there is a chance we may still conceive at some point in our lives. We decided to adopt anyway because we couldn't wait to start a family. We are in the process now and are very excited and very nervous at the same time. I don't think you are too young. My husband and I feel VERY ready and we're not much older than you (I'm 27 and he's 29). My next door neighbor was adopted by her parents when they were only 21 and she had a great childhood! I think it all depends on the person. Well, good luck in your decision making.

[brinawynne]

You'll just "know" when it's time. I'm sure it's different for everyone. My husband and I are 26 (me) and 25 (dh). Both a year younger when we started the process in January. We have been married for 6 years in October. We have known for awhile that this is how we wanted to grow our family. My husband had been ready for about a year before I was really ready to start the journey. We were in church one Sunday and it hit me like a ton of bricks! I was crying I was so happy. The thought of being a mommy was incredible. I don't think I could ever explain that feeling. Anyway, we left church, went to the bookstore and tried to find books on adoption. We then started researching and in January we officially began our journey. The decision is hard, but you'll know when it is time for you!

Good Luck!!
Brina

[somedayamom]

I appreciate hearing from other people who are younger and are considering adoption. I feel ready, but my husband is still a little hesitant (just about the timeing, not adoption itself). I think we will continue to talk and pray about it, but I think we might consider starting the process as early as next year. We are not officially infertile (I have PCOS, so it's very difficult but technically not impossible), but like I said before we dont' want to pursue the more clinical (and expensive!) methods. However, we plan to adopt even if we can have children. We both worked at a children's home a few years ago and we saw how much need there is for people who are willing to adopt older children. We would like to adopt a child in the 2-5 year old range. Mostly, I am wondering if we were to adopt and then get pregnant if it would be hard on the child we adopted? I guess that question probably goes in a different part of the forum, though.

Thanks for the replies.

[lotterino]

We began researching adoption in Feb 2004, we weren't sure when we thought we would actually act, but the more we researched, the more we felt God urging us to get started. I was 25 and my husband was 24 and we had been married 3 years. We are not an infertile couple (as far as we know), but we knew we wanted to start our family. Adoption to us is not a last resort or "Plan B" way of growing a family. Now, a year and a half later we have our first child! A daughter, and she is just awesome. She has been home almost 8 months and will be a year old in a couple weeks.

I think it's wonderful that you are thinking of adopting a toddler/preschooler. I know there are forums here that discuss issues with adopting older children that you will probably want to look into. About your last question, adding a second (or third or fourth) child can I suppose be tricky. I have no personal experience yet with this, but my 3-year-old nephew (adopted) has been begging his parents for a baby brother for a few months now. He knows the baby might come from mommy's tummy or from the airport, and it doesn't make any difference to him which. I know there are lots of adoptive families out there who have experienced a bio child after they have adopted. If we ever become one of them, I think it will be so exciting to tell Azaleah that she is going to be a big sister! I think it will be important to let her know that her place in our family is sooo important. Other than that, I suppose what we do will depend on her reactions and questions. Good luck!!

[astra]

I'm 24 and have been married for 4 years too!!

When we first started our adoption journey I worried I might be too young too! We are in the process of an international adoption, and one parent did have to be over 25. But in domestic adoptions I think the age requirements are different and probably vary by agency.

Good luck on your adoption journey!