[BethanyB]

It sounds like you are really getting everything in order before you decide to do this.

I am 31 and brought home my son a year ago. I am a single teacher and I live in a two bedroom apartment. I plan on living here for a few more years until I can afford to buy a house. I do have some debt but didn't really want to wait to have kids. So I went for it!

Daycare is really expensive but the state gives a stipend for daycare so I don't have to pay that much. He has the nicest clothes and all the toys in the world. I have not been shopping in a while though but that's a single mom for you!

I plan on getting my Masters Degree through an online program this year so I can do everything from home. I agree with Mckenna when she says that children from single parent homes are not in daycare any more than two working parent homes. And let's face it, more and more families have two working parents.

I LOVE my son so much and believe that adopting him was the best choice I ever made! I'm actually starting to yearn for another child. - A little girl. But we'll see.

I also am adopting from the state and should have an adoption court date any day now. But like Mckenna said, "It's not for everyone." I got my son when he was two weeks old. He just turned one and it's almost final now. And since it was through the state it's totally free. Also if you are open to race you can find some agencies that offer low cost AA and biracial adoptions. I've seen some agencies who have quoted 9 to 10 thousand dollars in this program. So check out all of your options.

Good luck!

[cakegirl]

I'm single and 28, and I've started the adoption process here in Australia... Basically, I yearn for a child, and I'm not in a relationship, so I choose adoption.

I own my own 3br townhouse - well the bank owns half - and I'm renting out 2 of the rooms, but when the child comes, I'll have one or both of them move out so the child can have a bedroom - although I anticipate him/her sleeping in my room for a while to help with attachment.

[julie1AN]

Thanks! I will look for those books you recommend. I honestly am surprised with the number of people who have replied to my message. I had no idea that some many people chose to be single parents. It makes me feel so much better.
Good luck with your 3rd adoption process.

[julie1AN]

Some of you have mentioned adoption through the state but say it's not for everyone. What do you see as the advantages or disadvantages?
Also, I'm happy to report that I will be attending an information session at an adoption agency/foundation this coming Saturday. I hope to get useful information there.

[BethanyB]

If you are looking to adopt an infant from the state, it is risky. I'm not sure what state you are in but in NJ we have fostering, straight adopt and fost/adopt.

In the fost/adopt program the children are deemed least likely to return home. There is less risk there, but it still exists. You are more likely to get younger children through fost/adopt. If you are open to race, which I think you said you were, you will probably get a quicker placement of an infant.

I was open to race and got a call for my two week old son three days after being certified. Real quick! He was a healthy AA boy who was waiting in the hospital for a family.

My journey with the state has been wonderful. I should have an adoption date any day now. And my son just turned 1 on July 6th. BUT not everyone has such an easy time with it. It can be an emotional rollercoaster! I would do it again though.

If you are willing to adopt an older child, you would want to do straight adoption. This is usually a risk free situation as TPR has probably already been done. BUT older kids from the system come with baggage that you need to be ready for.

Sorry, I just rushed through this but I'm leaving for an appointment in a few minutes. If you want to know more you can PM me!

[julie1AN]

Thanks Bethany. Basically, you did answer my question.
I have signed up for an information session at the Cradle, an agency in Evanston IL. I have heard wonderful things about it.
I also called Catholic Charities in Chicago. Although the lady was very helpful, she told me that CC doesn't handle adoptions for single parents. They only take couples. They told me that they charge the basic $3750 for home studies, applications, etc and also $15000 or 12% of the household annual income for domestic adoptions.

[cubbiegirl]

I adopted a beautiful 9 year old girl as a single mom from the state. She is smart and funny and has no behavioral problems, any more than any normal kid.

I highly recommend adopting as a single if you want. I couldn't be happier.