[TT40]

Hello everyone,

I (we) are totally new to adoption and are really just starting to talk about it as an family building option. I am 40yo and really scared that I am "too old" !!?? I know that this shouldn't be a stumbling block (from what I've read) but I guess that I am really scared about -

a) potentially being an "older mum" and how to deal with that.

b) we have no children so I'm not sure what a 6 month or 18 month eats for goodness sake !! although I supose that is the same for everyone at some point right

c) worried about what people will think of us

I am sure that I am not alone here, it's just all so overwhelming at this point. It seems straightforward enough, but everyone says how difficult it is.

I was looking at a site of children in Russia and just cried my eyes out today for those children living in deplorable condiitons, but also cried as this whole journey of building a family has been the most difficult and stressful thing that I have ever done.

My husband is great, thankfully we are strong there and I am happy that at least I have him and he me (always). I am sorry for the waffle here, IU guess I am scared and excited all at the same time. I think that a weight has been lifted by realizing that there can be a child at the end of this.

Thanks for reading this far ..,... would be very happy to chat with other couples starting out ... and wiser couples who may have some thoughts on the above ..

BTW, I always wanted to adopt wether we had bio children or not. I was rasied in a children's home and seeing those wee children in photos for potential parents sent chills down my spine .... I was there many yrs ago being told to sit up straight, look pretty and we may get adopted (my brother and I). We never were ....

Thankyou for listening.
TT

[Leigh131313]

Hi there

I had no idea what a toddler eats either...but i'm learning I dont think it matters anyway, each child has their own weird preferences. My son stopped allowing me to feed him with a spoon at about 7 months. I had to puree his food, slap it on toast, and cut it into teensy pieces so that he would be able to FEED HIMSELF....... independent lil bugger!! lol

As for your age being a problem....I think every padoptive parent goes through that whole insecure thing. The reality is...for SOME pbmom's that may be an issue....for others, they will WANT someone with a little more life experience. There is no perfect adoptive couple, only the right ones for the right pbmom.

Good luck on your journey Try to enjoy it all.

Leigh

[twyla]

Hi, TT40!

Don't sweat the small stuff!! And please trust me when I say that your age is REALLY small stuff!! I'm 50, my husband is 51... and my son's birth mother's quote when I asked her if she was aware of our ages, "Age is just a number". When she chose us, she was more concerned about how we would raise him, how well our (her's and ours) personalities would mesh together, and what kind of people we were, than how old we were. Leigh131313 is right, there is a match out there for everyone, you just have to give it time and let God do His thing!

[starsnstripes1]

We are adopting from China, where the MINIMUM age is 30. The majority of the families I talk to adopting from China are in their 40's. China has an age cap of like 105 years combined age of mom and dad. So it attracts alot of people looking to adopt.

IMO, I am much more ready to be a mom now than I was when I had my daughter 8 years ago. I imagine in another 10 years, I'll probably be in an even better position! I'm much more patient, and much more aware of what's really important!

Good luck with your journey!

[Waiting4Udr1]

don't worry about your anxiety about all this being new and don't attribute it to age!! I had my son at 33 and had all the same fears, hopes, joys, etc. My mother thought I was too old to have a child at that age. You should hear her now that dh and I are in the process of adopting a daughter from China. Bio Boy is 11. You do the math : )

Follow your heart.