[filswife]

Hey there,

I guess I am more curious than anything about this. We are adopting a newborn who is not here yet. She is due in two weeks, so basically any time now! bmom would like me there for the birth, for which I am ecstatic about. I guess my questions would revolve around,do i pack a bag to bring? do i plan on sleeping there? I know I will want to have a bag with the camera but should i be doing anything else?

[ccwasson]

Congrats!!
I would bring a bag with bottles, diapers, wipes, an outfit, and a burp rag. These are just a few things that a baby needs. Usually the hospital will give you some formula, a nasal aspirator, diaper rash cream, and alcohol wipes for the cord, but not always. It also might be nice to have a little something for bmom. I gave ours some shower gel, lotion and a "poof". She really enjoyed her first shower after the baby and she did not have to use the hospital stuff. Kind of like home I suppose. Make sure you have your camera and film too. I wish you luck and hope all goes well.

Christy

[sugarbabysmommy]

I hung out with my child's birthmom while she labored, I was not present for the birth. While she labored we got a room at a nearby hotel so we had a place to sleep, shower, and most imporantly a place to go when birthfamily wanted to be alone with baby. There was no lobby to sit in at the hosiptal for us to put our feet up. We thought we'd only be there 24 hours, silly us. It ended up being more like three days and we'd only packed for one change of clothes. We also packed toiletries for ourselves, but did forget a few things and had to get them once there at Longs- I would so much rather have had everything we needed than go shopping for deoderant! We packed a few things that our child's birthmom asked us to bring for her, for instance music in case she was in the mood as well as a small boom box. Ours was a local birth so we didn't pack many things for the baby, other than a going home outfit, blanket, burp clothes, and diapers, since once released we went straight home. The hospital sent us home with small ready made formula bottles and nipples, as well as travel packs of dry formula, pacifier, booger sucker, cotton swabs, alcohol pads, and diapers.

Since you have already talked about your being at the birth, ask if there is anything you can bring for her. One more thing, snacks and water for yourself! If the cafeteria is closed it could be a long time before you eat. Has she written down her wishes on a birth plan? This was very helpful. Our child's birthmother had one and we had an extra copy in case a nurse had a question we knew exactly what our child's birthmother wanted and were able to relay that. If your agency doesn't provide her with a birth plan form, there are free sites online that she can fill in the blanks and print it out. If this is her first birth and she has no idea what she wants, the questions on the birth plan might really help her form a picture of what she wants.

all the best

[Dream2Adopt]

I don't have any advice to offer - but wanted to say thanks to the two responders. My husband and I were also invited to be at the birth of our child-to-be in August, and I had wondered as well what to plan for. We live about 7 hours away from the bmom and expect her labor to be short, so we may not make it in time for the actual birth. I'm planning to bring a nice gown and pampering stuff for bmom, as well as all the goodies for baby. We're visiting this weekend and are all SO EXCITED! Bmom and I talked for 30 minutes today, like old friends =)

Good luck everyone!!

[Free_to_be_me]

When I placed my baby, I don't really know what her adoptive parents brought to the hospital. They stayed in a hotel, so they didn't bring much to the hospital. They did bring a gift for me. It was very unexpected and a wonderful surprise that I still treasure...10 years later. (They also brought a gift for the birthfather.)

[shylagirl]

Some thing else to consider is talking to the hospital Social worker ahead of time. hey will be able to tell you if you can stay at the hospital, Policy on how they handle the adoption at the hosp.( we were able to go into the nursery anytime so I was able to all feeding!) Also they will be prepared b/c not everyone agrees w/ adoption

Patience is the most important thing give the pbmom Time with the child. We also took tons of pics w/ our bmom dd and us in all configurations. Our DD Will be 3 on the 28th and loves to hear the story about her birth.

Congratulations and good luck with your little one.

[ourdreamcametru]

Do check with the hospital to see what their policy is for adoption. When our daughter was born last year my husband and I were there for the entire labor and delivery and then the hospital gave us for FREE because they were not busy at the time, our own room where we could take the baby anytime we wanted and where we stayed for the entire 4 days. They even fed us our meals free! Even though the hospital was only 5 miles from our house, it was a huge relief to be there the entire time and have a place where our family and friends could come visit and see the baby without being in the birthmothers room! Good luck and keep us posted.

[sugarbabysmommy]

A few other posters brought up something, who cares for baby while at the hospital. Our child's birthmother wanted to share care giving when we were there to visit, and she wanted to room in with the baby. This is something that deserves talking about ahead of time if you can. Always assume you are there as a guest, not an equal player unless you're told otherwise. We initailly asked to have a room at the hospital, but it didn't work out and I'm glad since it meant my child's birthmom had more one onone time with baby- and honestly we needed a little distance ourselves a few times.

you're on pins and needles I'm sure, take care.

[Praying2Adopt]

Congrats! Bring a bag for the birth mom with some yummy stuff from maybe The Bath & Body shop and some treats to eat. Hospital food is so boring! Make sure to pack a baby bag with burp clothes, diapers, binkies, and other toilet type items. You should probably pack a bag for yourself too! You might be needing some changes of clothes and basic toiletries! Good luck and savor the moment!

[poullafouca]

We were blessed with a baby boy, born this January. I received invaluable advice from these boards, most of which is here.
I brought our baby's first/birth mommy really nice food at lunchtime and in the evening. I located a couple of decent places nearby. Hospital food is pretty grim, and since she was recovering from a c-section, she was stuck in the hospital for a few days. Personally I think it's amazing that people don't keel over and die from the stuff they feed you in hospitals (it's the same all over the world).

We agreed that because of the c-section that she and baby would stay in the hospital and would be released together. The Doctor told us that our baby was fine, but it didn't seem loving to just disappear into the mist. We drove her home to her Mom's and eventually headed home (an AMAZING moment).

I was present for my son's birth, which was beautiful; my husband waited outside.
One thing that helped was to very politely tell everyone (I mean everyone) who you are and what's going on; as some of the other posters have said, we are not all on the same page about adoption, so be prepared for the occasional sourpuss. Mostly everyone was wonderful and supportive and loving to us and our courageous birth mother.

The most important thing of all, which someone else said and I will reiterate, is that the baby isn't yours until it is. The birth mommy will be exhausted and no matter how sure she is, emotional (whether she lets you see or not). Please love her for what she is doing, or even if she can't do it, still love her, because she needs it, and her courage in the face of all that she is going through is formidable.

Your courage will also need to be formidable, and hopefully your joy will know no bounds. I will send loving positive thoughts out for you.

Poulla

[Deeelirious]

I have no advice because I am in the orginal poster's shoes and waiting for "the call".

I really appreciate this thread. I had already started collecting some goodies to bring in a bag for our the birthmom but I hadn't thought of soaps, shampoos and puff. What a good idea.

Thank you for starting this thread and thank you to everyone who has responded.