[honu]

We've now got 3 more weeks to wait for a judge in Kansas to decide on the placement for a sibling group of 2. We were first called about them in Mid March, and it's been a killer waiting just to find out if we've been chosen. There were 5 families submitted, so we're not feeling too confident, but we still have a chance. I keep thinking we haven't been waiting long enough, they'll choose someone else that's been on the list for 1 day longer than us. We don't have kids of our own, they'll want someone with parenting experience. We don't attend church regularly, they'll choose the couple that sings in the choir and teaches Sunday School. I know, I know, if they are our kiddos we will be selected, but that doesn't make it any easier to wait.

So, I've started this thread, mostly for myself to keep a grip on reality. I want to throw myself into the thought of bringing these kiddos home, heck even just meeting them, but I can't. For my sanity and the others around me, I've got to be somewhat detached and keep my head out of the clouds. I'd appreciate any feedback or just simple support anyone may have to give and I'll probably be posting as the days (or maybe hours) go by. I'm not asking for your left kidney or your last piece of chocolate , just a smile or a few words now and then letting me know I'm not alone.

Until next time I'm feeling a little crazy...

[lambeausam]

"Wait" is definitely a four-letter word in my book. As of late, it seems anything that I am looking forward to gets postponed. However, I will say, that even with the setbacks, I haven't been disappointed in the end.

Good luck!

Sam

[honu]

Thank you Sam, I too have found that I am not at all dissapointed in the end, and in fact it usually becomes a whole new beginning. DH and I are firm believers that things happen just when they are supposed to for reasons found out once they happen, make sense? Thanks again and good luck to you too in any endeavors you might be pursuing!

[coco46]

Honu,

I'll be praying for good news for you and these kiddos!

Waiting and hoping for something you want SO much, but which isn't ever guaranteed, is always tough. This is a great place to vent and talk, so journal away! I'm here to listen, too!

[honu]

Well, 19 more days to go until the judge will hopefully make his decision. Knowing our luck he'll be sick or our SW won't call or she'll be out sick or something, ugh! I know, always the pessimist (sp?). It's nearly impossible to be hopeful though because as soon as you are, when you get let down, well it's just that much harder. I am keeping pretty busy, especially since DH's family is coming to stay with us this weekend, clean clean clean! I'm even priming the walls in the spare rooms finally, maybe that's why I feel a little better today, it's the paint fumes.

Our anniversary is 6/12, the day before the judge's decision, so I'm working on planning something special for us. We're kinda broke right now because I'm waiting for my new job to start. Any ideas anyone? I already know what his gift will be, as far as the day we'll likely eat dinner out, but I wanted to plan something special for the whole day or even the weekend since it falls on a Sunday. I know the one thing he would love is to relax because I've got him doing so much around the house right now for his family and a ton of outdoor projects. Maybe we'll have a picnic, or maybe there is an outdoor concert somewhere locally. Any other suggestions?

Anyway, I've managed to keep myself sane for the most part, DH is so supportive and understanding and when I jump on him for something insignificant, he totally understands. He's anxious too and wants to be a Dad as much as I want to be a Mom. Thanks for listening to my rambling, any support is welcomed.

[sherryk]

Hello!

Tell me more about the kids you are waiting for! Have you purchased anything "just in case?" You are right in saying that if it is meant to be it will happen!

The waiting is over for us - five years ago, but it feels like yesterday. In fact, our daughter was placed with us exactly five years ago to the day! The waiting seems forever!!! I remember shopping on the day I was to be called and I almost bought a blanket...yet, I held off in case my heart was broken. I know it is all you can think about right now, so it probably will be really good to plan something fun for your anniversary! There are alot of fun things you can do that don't cost alot of money.

Hang in there! Only 12 more days...

Blessings,
sherrykl
host

[honu]

Thanks for the reply, you are correct, we've got 12 more days to go. The wait, as I suspected has been awful, is that too dramatic? I'm still out of work, so that's making it worse, I'm really running out of things to entertain myself with. I've done so many projects around the house you'd think I was turning into Martha. It's really no fun being a SAH_, with no one to chase around.

The sib group we are hoping to be matched with is a boy 5 and a girl 3. We know a little more about them, but it didn't seem right to go into much detail here. They are overall healthy and have only been in foster care since we've been waiting to hear who will parent them (just over 10 weeks now). We have a few things for the kiddos, whoever they may be, but only things I have received for free. I have not bought anything at the store, but I have looked online at Target a lot. I can't wait to decorate little kiddos bedrooms and prepare for their arrival, but I just can't make myself believe that these are the ones.

It's hard enough to wait, let alone get my hopes up. Someone else out there waiting may be more perfect for this sib group and perhaps have been waiting much longer than us.

As for the Anniversary I think we're going to a free music concert in a park that weekend, have a picnic and some wine, that kind of thing.

Thanks again for checking up on me, I just wish I could speed up time, even if we aren't chosen, but just to know, and be able to move on.

[honu]

11 days and counting, I thought about posting in my journal, but decided here was just as good. I really have nothing profound to add, just that I'm becoming more and more anxious as the days pass. I'm afraid after all this time we'll end up not hearing from our SW or the judge will not decide or he'll be sick or something. Our adoption support group meeting was tonight and I guess after talking about it there it all just started becoming harder. We talk about it and I come here and post like crazy, but for some reason tonight it hit hard. I don't know what I'm trying to say, the whole thing just sucks, I guess that's what I'm trying to say. I'm having an angry day, a day where I feel it's not fair for us to have to wait like this, especially to find out someone else was chosen. I better stop now, I'm only making myself feel worse. Night all.

[JPDakota]

Been waiting for 5 years, on and off. Had several failed adoptions. Finally kind of gave up, then today I get a call at work. A young mother to be has chosen us! I know what you mean about getting your hopes up. Here we go again. Am I crazy?

[honu]

Of course we're crazy, how else could we get through all this? Really though, it seems we always have to put ourselves out there and risk getting hurt or we'd never have our kiddos would we? 7 more days now until the judge is supposed to decide. I had the feeling a couple nights ago that this particular sib group was not for us. Nothing in my mind has changed really, I'm not even excited about it anymore. Maybe it's just because I've thought about them for so long, I'm not sure. I'm still anxious and wanting to know, for closure if nothing else, but I think our kiddos are still out there waiting as we are to find each other. At least if nothing else, I do know we will adopt eventually, that gives my mind some peace.

[rebjosh222]

Thank you so much I thought I was alone with the "waiting game" craziness!!!!!!

[honu]

You're never alone if you don't want to be, it seems I can always find someone that can understand what I'm going through. Well, it's just 3 days now, I e-mailed the SW earlier this week for her to please e-mail or call us as soon as she can about the judge's decision. I told her the wait was very difficult and even if we are not chosen, it would really help for us to know as soon as possible. She never e-mailed back, so either she never got it, or she is just waiting to contact us after she knows something. I just hope the judge really does decide something next week (preferably Monday), it's so ridiculous for these kids to sit in fostercare when there are 5 families that want to adopt them. I'm grateful for distraction this weekend, we're off to Springfield and to Lambert's on Sunday to have rolls thrown at our heads, yipee! What a romantic anniversary weekend, at least we'll have a nice hotel room, and we'll probably have a more romantic dinner Saturday night. That's about it, I'm still feeling like I was the other day, I just thought I would be more excited and anxious, but I'm thinking instinctually I know they are not our kiddos, so I'm not looking forward to it. We'll see, it's all we can do.

[honu]

Well, no word yet about who the sib group will be placed with, but the SW did reply to my e-mail. She just said all of the parental rights have been terminated and that today was the permanency hearing. I have no idea what that is or what it consisted of, we were told today was the day a judge would decide who they should be placed with. The whole thing is so ridiculous. Why can't they just explain what is going on? Why is everything so secretive? Even if someone else is chosen, we just want to understand the process. It's all so frustrating. I'll keep ya'll posted on any further news.

[mlbsands]

Hopefully you will hear something very soon... ) Good luck..

Mandy

[adoptakid2day]

we waited 13 months for our son and have been waiting over 3 years for another placement.He begs me on a daily basis for a sibling , and it shatters my heart.. we want any child up to age 6, special needs is fine ,, so we arent being picky... believe me i can tell you all about the wait game, it sucks,,,simply stated. we have had 7 referrals in all this time, came close 1 time was narrowed between us and another couple, thats hard to swallow!!! I am glad he(the prospective Ason) has a permanant home now, but i wished it had been us! ..good luck