[sissyminsky]

I have finished writing my dear birthmother letter. I used Nelson's book as an aid in writing. I asked a bmom I know to look at it and she said there were some things that were important to her that I did not mention.

But, I feel long-winded anyway. I have so much to express and just a few pages to put it in.

SO, I thought I would ask bmoms,p-bmoms, and even a-parents and p-aparents,what did you feel was most important to the letter?

I am not trying to tailor my letter to everyone else's feelings and ideas, but I wanted ideas to help me give my letter clarity.

Thank you for any help,
jo


p.s. I am posting this in Dear Birthmother and General Adoption just to try to get the most feedback. I hope that is okay.

[Nelson]

Feedback to your letter can be enormously helpful or enormously confusing, depending on how you use it. I feel it most important (as I'm sure you know from the book) to create a letter that authentically expresses those issues that are most important to your raising a child and your values. In this way, you will most likely connect with someone who shares your priorities.

So, as general advice to all, I offer that when you have others read your letter, guage their reactions in terms of your specific goals. Are they getting what you are trying to express? what picture of your life are they receiving? these kinds of reactions will be maximally useful.

Reactions from those who want you to be someone else, or to emphasize other priorities, will be less so.

Just a thought...