[dbishop1206]

I am sure there are alot of you that have completed your home study, all necessary paperwork for the US adoption agency and now you are sitting next to the phone. The waiting is so hard and I am looking for friends who are in the same phase to share this experience with. If this is you ... please respond.

[BabyHope]

Hello!
We are done with the homestudy and paperwork,etc. And, we are waiting to be matched with a Birthmom now. We have been waiting for 3 months. I would love to talk to you anytime.

Suzette

[awaitingagirl]

We have been waiting 4 months...its hard. I try not to wait by the phone. Try to keep myself busy (which really isnt hard) but I think about it all the time. I look at it like a pregnancy..should be matched w/in 9 mo...It really helps me deal with it. Im around...mind if I ask which agency you guys are with?

[want2adopt1]

I have been waiting for over a year now and we have had one failed match. It will make you insane if you wait by the phone. Trust me, I have been there! I would recommend that you try to find something to distract you. Right now we are going through foster parenting classes through our state (Missouri). We had been trying to adopt through a small private agency and not having any luck. The foster classes keep us feeling like we are doing something productive and we could eventually get to adopt through the state. Anyway, I would be happy to talk with any of you any time. Thanks- Shay

[awaitingagirl]

A year huh? Wow, I would def be at my wits end. Do you have any children with you at home now bio or adopted? or is this the first attempt thru adoption? I know we will be waiting a while being that we are gender specific and already have 2 boys it will be a while to be matched with the right birthmom because she will have to know what she is having AND be ok with us already having children. My hubby and I have talked about doing the foster-adopt program for an older girl, but we feel that if we were to get the older girl first and then have to update our homestudy and they now see we have 3 kids lol...it would make it that much longer....'sigh' so we wait. Then once we get the little one, we will see about a girl between the ages of all the children lol...seems like a plan anyway ha ha ha

[want2adopt1]

No, we don't currently have any children biological or otherwise. That's why it has been so hard for us. We want a child so bad and we don't understand why it hasn't happened for us. I am 28 and my husband is almost 28, so I know that we have time but it doesn't make it any easier. I know that when the time is right it will happen and that's what I have to keep telling myself.

[awaitingagirl]

Ah yeah. We are 28 and 29. Started right when we got married. Its hard both ways. Having them early you lose a lot of 'us' time to go do things which I wish we had more time to do. But I also know that when the clock is ticking or you just have the urge to mommy its very strong! Have you guys thought about going with a bigger agency? We went with Adoption Network. Or is money an issue? They arent cheap. I think it will happen quicker than you think. In the adoption agency world you guys are considered YOUNG and if you are 'either gender' then you will get matched probably VERY soon! But know that I am here if you wanna talk. What state are you in again?

[Casey677]

We've been waiting for a year, too! I had to chuckle at your ages. I will be 28 next month and DH will be 30 in October. When we started this journey a year ago, everyone said our age would be a huge asset.....LOL....... In hindsight, I guess not.

Casey

[awaitingagirl]

LOL..thats funny. So Casey how are you guys going about this adoption stuff....I know why we have a long wait and I dont think age will help us other than maybe more looks at our profile?

[awaitingagirl]

also...mind if I ask what happen in your failed matches?

[Casey677]

We signed on with an agency last May. We were immediately matched with them, but it fell apart three weeks later. We were matched again by them in August. On October 25th, we had a wonderful baby placed in our arms. Three days later his mom decided to parent. We then fell victim to an emotional scammer that we had met on-line from December to February. We started to feel like we weren't getting anywhere with our agency, so we also signed on with a facilitator. We have been active with them for about two months now. We are currently in the process of updating our homestudy. Hopefully something will happen soon!

Casey

[JenniferB11]

We are currently in the process of waiting as well. We have been waiting for 4 months now! What are you guys doing to help pass the time? And for those of you signed with an agency/attorney/facilitator do you get updates every so often of how many times your profile has been submitted or any feedback? So far we haven't had any feedback or anything - just wondering what the norm is! Thanks!

[Casey677]

We haven't received any feedback, really. Our facilitator did let us know immediately when an expectant mom saw our profile on their website and wanted to talk to us last Friday. We have talked to her twice now, but she is still really early in her pregnancy and they typically do not match expectant moms prior to 20 weeks. After our three failed attemps, I admit that waiting 6 months for someone to change their mind really scares me.

Casey

[awaitingagirl]

Our agency has a website in which you can look at the statistics of your site. You can see how many times its been view, and also if a birthmom wants to give feedback about your site/pics/letter then she can rate that. We have had 2 moms do that and our site is very active just I think that we are so particular that it will take time. I stay home with my boys so it takes a lot of the 'waiting and thinking about it' off of my shoulders. We have been waiting since end of Dec 04 and to be honest I think thats still a short time to be worried about anything. We had one match and it failed due to the sex of her baby. I know it sounds bad, but I have 2 boys and if I wanted to chance another I would just get preg again. Besides we have a great home and would love to open it up to a few more children! I do know however that she (the **) gave her baby to a wonderful couple who couldnt have kids...That baby boy was meant for them...thats how I feel about it anyway

[Dee1234]

We have been waiting more than a year, so I certainly know how you all feel. I try to keep busy and take a exercise class twice a week -- it really helps to relieve stress and perks me up. I also must admit I have spent a lot of time on the internet trying to find a child!

Our agency doesn't give us regular updates, unless there is a potential situation. But I have kept in touch with our social worker through e-mail, and regularly let her know about our networking efforts.

The good news is that we have been in contact with a potential birthmom and may be matched soon if all goes well!

I know it is hard, but try to be as patient as you can. If there's anything I've learned this past year, it's adoption takes time. There is so much uncertainty and you cannot control what happens. I told my husband this week that my new motto is going to be "Just go with it." Expect the unexpected and try not to get too frazzled or frustrated along the way.

Good luck to all of you with your adoption journey!