[bohtieque]

Hi, everyone--

I'm 32, married, and have been trying to get pregnant for over 3 years. My husband and I have both been to an fertility specialist and found that due to extremely low count, motility, etc., it's going to be "very hard" for us to get pregnant (as if I couldn't figure that one out!).

We've been talking for a long time about adoption. My husband and his two siblings were all adopted, so he has an extremely healthy attitude and first-hand knowledge of what it is to be adopted. My family has always been the type that loves children, no matter what, so I don't think we'll have any problems with family, like some do.

The problem is financial. My husband and I are both teachers. He just got his certification and first job this year, so we just began paying his student loans, which are...horrific. Our house is warm, safe and comfortable, but probably a little shabby if looked at through other's eyes. (What does it take to pass a home study? Do our surrounding matter?) We can afford to pay for daycare for a child, but I'm not so sure daycare, saving for emergencies and paying off an adoption loan of $25,000 can happen.

We would love a child. I think I know how to raise one well--even at the difficult teen years, which I have firsthand dealings with every day. I just don't know if we can afford it.

I'm going to add in something that's going to upset a few people, I'm sure, but I want to be truthful. I know we aren't looking to adopt a child who is emotionally disturbed or cognitively disabled. We're fine with possible learning disorders and children of races different from our own, though.

How much does adoption really cost? Are there ways to make it more affordable for us?

Julie

[twyla]

Hi, Julie!

First, let me apologize for not answering sooner. I have been off the boards for the last 3 months. Now for your problem...

If you have not yet found an answer to your financial question, please private message me and I can give you some information about the agency that we adopted through. They charge on a sliding scale according to your income and have over 75 locations in the US, so there might be one near you. This agency is a bit restrictive in adoptive couples they accept, but might be what you are looking for if you and your husband are Christian, and both attending members of the same church. Due to the new posting rules, as I understand them, I am no longer able to recommend an agency by name on the open forum. One of the reasons we chose this agency; we own and operate a shoe repair shop together and do not have the financial resources of many others who adopt. We were able to afford the fees of this agency. Because of that, our dream of parenthood became a reality.

[Hopp]

Twyla,

I too am interested in hearing about your agency. My husband and I are wanting to start the adoption process, but are just at the start of our answer seeking. Have some questions, but first want to locate a Christian agency (I am a minister). My e-mail is HopkinsTD@aol.com

Blessings,
Dianna

[Dizzysmamma]

Let me be the first to tell you that what your home looks like really "does not matter". As long as its safe and comfortable it does not need to be something out of Better Homes and Gardens. Believe me I know. You want to talk about shabby? lol I'm right there with you. Also, income really isn't an issue either if you go through the state which is what we're doing. The only thing we have needed to pay for so far was our physical exams. One thing to consider is that if you adopt a "special needs" child you will get a monthly subsidy check to help with caring for your new family member. As you are open to adopting outside your race and if age isn't an issue, you shouldn't have any problems at all as long as you pass your homestudy. And if you're going straight adoption "passing" is easy as long as you are stable, honest people who have never been charged with something that involves risking a minor child. Eg. Domestic Violence. I hope I've been able to ease some of your worries. You are more than welcome to pm me if you need anything else. {{{{{{Julie}}}}}}

Angela

[Ttanner]

I'm also intrested in this info. I'm a mother but was adopted and would like to adopt. Tabitha

[kenlena]

Hi twyla,

I am a 26 year old mother of 4 wonderful boys. Me and my husband have been together for 10 year and married for 2. After i had my youngest son we had thought it would be a good idea for me to get a tubal ligation. Now after 3 years we are regreting that thought because we want another child. We have been looking into a reversal of the procedure but that is $5600 and then we started looking into adoption which is about the same amount or more. We are a Christian family and we are very involved in our church. It would mean the world to us if you can give us some information on that christian agency you had wrote about my email address is daimarqx5@yahoo.com. I know that God will bless you beyond your compacity for what you are doing for these families. Thank you in advance for helping us out with our dillema

[twyla]

Hi, Kenlena!

I checked your profile to see where you are located and also to try to PM you and discovered that while you are not presently set up to accept PM's, my agency does have a branch office in your state, it is in Indianapolis. I'd be happy to provide their name, but I need you to go to your personal membership page and add to your contact options so I can PM you.

Please don't take offense, none is intended... but I have learned the hard way in the past that it is best not to post your address on a public site, or use it to reply to a public posting. So I only use the private messaging system on this site to give out info, I never go through my personal e-mail address anymore.

Please PM me as soon as you update your contact options and I'll pass the name of my agency along so you can check them out to see if they are what you are looking for.

[starsnstripes1]

On the money issue - you'd be surprised what you can make happen when you really want it! We had a garage sale with donated items, and raised almost $1500 in two days. We also have bracelets we sell, and have paid for our homestudy with that. We only do it for a couple of hours on the weekend, but we will probably also be able to cover the second 1/2 of our agency fee as well.

We cut out eating out and Starbucks runs. Everytime we get the "urge", we put the money instead into a jar in the house, or transfer the money into our savings account. It's amazing to see how fast it starts to add up!

It seems impossible, but we've just taken it one expense at a time, and we're really close!

[littlepeadream]

I was reading the posts and new to looking into adoption and would like information on the agency you speak of.

Gina

[ROSAMARIE]

Hi all We are new to the group and would also like to receive the information on the agency you are talking about. We are just begining the adoption process and are a little overwhelmed and not sure how or where to begin. Is there any advice out there. We have not even told our families that we have come to this choice.We are nervous about telling them even though we know they will be happy and supportive. Thanks in advance