[maxinne]

Hi everyone
I am new here, and I have many questions and concerns. Dh and I are planning to begin the adoption process very soon. Here it is;Has anyone out there successfully adopted, and also had these circumstances?

1. Dh and I are both in a 12 step program for addiction. Dh clean 12 yrs & I am clean 8 yrs clean.

2. I have been treated for depression, and was on an antidepressant for many years. I am no longer taking medication, however I still see a therapist.

Here are my questions;

1. How honest should we be? (we have been told from several people in our situation that they weren't honest,yet, have successfully completed their adoption's)

2. Are my mental health records confidential? or will they have access to them?

3. Based on this information, what would be our best bet; International, domestic, or foster care?

The truth is, although I know this information is asked for the best interest of the child, a part of me is resentful that our past has to be opened up like this, just because we don't have the "right plumbing". Today we are both productive members of society. My dh has been with the same company for 9 yrs, and I have been working with special needs preschoolers as a teachers assistant since 2000. We also have owned our own home for over 2 years, and have been married for over 4 years.
If anyone can help us with this I would be very grateful.
Maxinne

[BrandyHagz]

I think everyone here will give you the same answer…100% honesty is the only way to go…

You wont necessarily be denied for either of the reasons you listed…but they will want to talk to you about them. The only thing that might be an issue is the fact that you’ve only been sober eight years…

As for domestic, you’d be covered with your mental illness under the Americans With Disabilities Act…they cant turn you down for it, as long as you have a supporting statement from your therapist/Dr. that says you are fit to parent.

Same goes for the Foster Care system.

International gets trickier…each country has its own requirements…some countries won’t let you adopt if there is a history of mental illness. Some don't mind, as long as its been successfully treated.

In the end, always been upfront and honest with the social worker doing your homestudy…as long as you can prove your fitness, it shouldn’t be a problem.

[maxinne]

Please feel free to email me privatly regarding this matter
Thank you

[michellemartin]

I as a bmom would rather know the history. Not so I could turn down, but so I would have a better understanding of the couple as to how they would raise my bchild throughout the teen years. Instead of stressing the past alchohol or substance abuse, stress instead because of those personal issues how you would be better equiped to help a teen go through those tough years without following those patterns. Recognizing the signs... stuff like that. Honesty, definitely. We've all made mistakes somewhere.