[Dee C]

In 2002 my husband and I began adopting our little girl.We checked the better business bureau and the licensing agency in CA.Only the company was licensed in a different state than it operated from so no negative information came up.We received photos and videos of her for almost a year.A month before we planned to travel we were told that our daughter was being adopted by another family.Once we confirmed that, we asked that our money be returned to us.They denied us our $10,000 and are now on the verge of bankruptcy.We were, are, and will always be devastated by the loss of our daughter.We have two children and our oldest son, age 4, has had a difficult time understanding why his sister isn't coming to live with us anymore. My question.How do you move forward?We looked into adopting through fostercare but the children available are an average age of 8. My husband and I are 24 and 25 and wanted to adopt a younger child so that we could grow as parents along with our children. We have been told that do to our financial loss with the first adoption we would most likely not be able to find an agency that would approve us to adopt an infant. Even if we did we can't afford the fees. We may not be able to afford extravagant things but we can still give a child a loving secure home. If anyone has any advice on how we can proceed please let me know. Thank you and good luck to everyone adopting.

[mj77]

We got both our boys as babies from the foster system. There are young kids out there. You might need to wait and be aggresive in your search. Our legal free son was 13 mo. when placed and our foster/adopt son was 5 mo. Hang in there!

[Catlover]

I'm adopting an older child, however her twin half-brothers have been in care since birth and with the family that hopes to adopt them since they were 10 months old. This couple is also fostering another baby, born to a woman serving 7 - 10 years for armed robbery, so that child will be available for adoption most likely. With babies, you may have to live with the uncertainty a bit longer, depending on the circumstances of the parents and whether they are working a plan for reunificaton.

These children all come through foster care so there is an element of uncertainty. But the state does pay for everything.

I don't know if that helps or not, but there is hope of getting an infant or young child.

Good luck!

[dl]

I recently became acquainted with a family that did foster/adopt with their daughter who is now 8 and has been with them since she was a newborn, legally adopted since age 2. They are now foster/adopting their son who is 8 months old.

I myself was adopted from foster care when I was 13 months. I have no memory of any home other than with my parents (adoptive). A loving secure home with caring parents is much more important than extravagant things. Best of Luck!

[mj77]

dl, I love to hear you write as I hope my kids have a great attitude like you. I can't imagine my children coming to us any other way but through the system.

[BrandyHagz]

Dee C

Talk to your financial and/or Tax advisor about the Adoption Tax Credit, it applies (in some instances) even for failed adoptions.

If your Tax Advisor cant give you any advice, don’t give up...keep calling around and talking to someone until you get the answer you need...you should get some or all of the funds back thru the Adoption Tax Credit, if you qualify.

You might also consider talking to an adoption specialist at the IRS for more information! Good luck!

[jennit]

i really understand what your going through we are right now going through the same thing with a agency an colorado
they right now have $11,800.00 of our right now they called us 2 weeks ago and said there license and been revoked and that we probly wouldnt get our money back my husban and i are not wealthy and that is alot of money for us to take a loss from and we dont have any children yet im 31 and my husban is 28 we thought anyday they were going to call and say we were matched up with a birthmom but instead we got news we never could have dreamed would ever happen. i really hope it all works out for you. jennit


[Edited To Remove Agency/Facilitator/fee based services Recommendations or comments]

Please remember that comments about agencies or other fee based services made after 2/10/2004 MUST be made via Private Message.

[kllee4]

My question is this........Is there any legal recourse for padoptive parents who experience this? I mean, come on, this is awful and I can understand how frustrated and devastating this can be for any family. I could not imagine losing that amount of money once you have trusted an agency to act on your behalf. Are they allowed to keep the money with simply filing bankruptcy? Can you file a suit?
I am sorry that parents have to go through this in order to open their hearts to children. I will certainly keep you in my prayers since this is so sad. And to think that you now would have to begin again. I know for my husband and I after the first amount of money was saved and given to the agency, we wouldn't be able to adopt again through an agency if something were to go wrong with the agency (although we went through a nonprofit). We would, like you, consider our local Social Services and pray that we would be able to adopt a younger child (due to the birth order of our boys and their wishes).

Hang in there. kllee

[Dee C]

We would absolutely love to hire a lawyer but the money just isn't there. We would most likely spend almost as much on a lawyer as what the agency kept. Our biggest concern is that what happened to us is mild.. We talked to a single mother who mortgaged her house to get money for the adoption and they kept as much money from her as they did from us. And whats worse is that they are still representing themselves as being a licensed adoption agency even though their license has been revoked. They prey on your emotions and your desperate want to have a child. I think it is sick.

[KellyStacy]

I read your post,and that is horrible.I don't understand why the agency couldn't offer you another child,if they were not giving you your money back.There seems to be so many children needing loving and good homes.This just does not make any sense.I can only imagine how you felt once they told you she is adopted by another family.I don't think anyone understands the emotional heartache that goes with this whole adoption experience.I feel so bad for you and your family.Its ashame that this can be done so easily and that they are getting away with this! I agree with you 100% that you might not be able to buy extravagant things but that you can still give a child a loving and secure home.Its so sad.I look on the internet at some of the babies and children photos.I would love to be able to adopt some of those children unfortunately its the fees that come along with that particular child.Yet months later that same little boy/girl still has there picture out there looking to be adopted.Its ashame but its the truth, there are many couples wanting to adopt but unfortunately the fees are stopping them.Thanks for letting couples know this can happen.I hope everything will work out for you and your family.