[sherry234]

Hi, My husband and I are ready to get started with the adoption process. We want to go the private route instead of an agency. But I have a few questions that I hope someone can help with.

1. When we hire a lawyer for the adoption will he have contacts that might want someone to adopt their baby, or will we have to do all the searching and find a ** on our own?

2. I would like to write letters to Dr. offices, schools, churches and so on, but I don't have a clue how to start these letters or what to say so that I don't look like a completer fool, what do you say in those kinds of letters?

3. Is it really possible to find a ** by writting letters to Dr. offices, schools, churches and so on?

[stillwaiting]

My husband and I talked with a local OB/GYN and let him know a little about our situation (infertility) and that we wanted to adopt. He told us from time to time he has young ladies or older women that would like to give their child up for adoption and when that happened he would talk to them about us.

We had one failed adoption - ** wanted too but bf did not.

Three months later we received the call about our son. We had NO problems with his adoption.

I would say this-do your homework. Go to the law library in your town and look up the adoption statutes for your state. - Find out about the ** rights and when they are terminated, how background must be conducted, homestudies, ect.

Then contact an attorney that is able to offer counseling to the **. Before and after the birth. A good attorney can make you or break you.

Also, remember these folks you are presenting this too are not adoption specialist and they are only going to get you in touch with a **. I would suggest you contact an attorney first and tell these folks that if they come in contact with a ** to give the ** your attorney’s phone number and then the attorney can take it from there.


Good Luck and Don't Give Up On Your Dreams.

TD

[tobeafamily]

1. It depends on the laws in your state whether an attorney can search on your behalf. If they can, than they will. Check with a couple though as some have more contacts than others.

2. Check out the book "Adopting in America: How to Adopt Within One Year" by Randall Hicks. Very good resource for doing your own independent adoption.

3. It is very possible to find pbparents through personal networking, though the targets you mentioned - doctors, schools, churches - may not be your first or best place to network.

If you like, I'll be happy to share our list of 'tips' for searching and networking - things like business cards, word-of-mouth campaigns, flyers in cars, newspaper advertising, etc. can all be effective and not expensive. Word-of-mouth connected us with Ryan's bparents BTW. Just PM me.

HTH

Regina

[tobeparents]

Hello. We saw your posting in Adoptive Network on how to independent adopt. We have ben trying newspaper ads, both college and regular newspapers. For the past 3 months and have not received any calls. We had our ad reviewed by our lawyer and by the home agent. Both stated that the ad is correct. Well, we are looking to network to get other ideas on how to search for the **. Any advise would be helpfull. Thanks.

tobeparents@hotmail.com

[4everyellowskz]

This is a great resource for adoption attorneys. http://www.adoptionattorneys.org/

[tobeafamily]

Here are the things we did to find our son:

We created a master e-mailing list of all our friends, family, close business associates, etc. We used this list to ask for help in searching, and kept the group updated every 2-3 weeks or so with how things were progressing. One of these list members, a "work friend" of mine from a previous employer (we mostly trade jokes on e-mail), made the connection. She had gotten an "update" from us about a week before her ex-husband's daughter found out she was pregnant and decided on adoption. So we were fresh in her mind. This young lady is Ryan's birthmother.

A few other things we did that generated leads and one other family being made:

1. Made up business cards with brief blurb and our contact info. Left them everywhere - restrooms at movie theaters, hockey games, fast food restaurants, airports, etc. We gave cards to waitstaff, left them on pay phones, bulletin boards, ATM machines, etc. We got 9 leads, one of which turned into a connection & placement for another family using our agency. We asked friends and family to do the same and ended up with a "mad mad carder brigade". We got cards pretty inexpensively at Vista Print www.vistaprint.com.

2. Sent out letters to hospitals, doctors, etc. Got one call from a social worker that almost turned into a placement for another family. This would've been very expensive if my employer hadn't let us use their color copier though.

3. Put up flyers in our cars with our info on them, as did some of our friends. Also put flyers up in laundromats, bulletin boards, etc. Got several calls from these, especially the cars.

4. Created a simple website and posted it on various adoption sites, all the search engines, and everywhere we could do it for free or a low fixed cost. We did get some e-mails and phone calls from prospective situations, though not a tremendous number. There are also some sites out there that have 'birthmothers listing situations', where paparents respond. If you do, use extreme caution as there's a higher probability of scamming.

5. We advertised in the local and some college newspapers. We didn't get much response, but others we're aware of made their connection this way. We also put an 'on screen' advertisement at one of the local movie theaters - that got us zero leads.

6. We also put a short 'ad' for ourselves including phone # and website as the 'signature line' on our e-mail and asked friends to do this as well. Don't honestly know if we got any leads from that one but we figured it was free and couldn't hurt, especially if people didn't strip signatures on forwards.

Also, we really told everyone. I have a heart-shaped red button with the word ADOPT! on it that I'd wear places. You'd be amazed how many people came up and asked me about it, giving me a chance to give out a card and ask. I got 4 separate leads from people in a professional group who knew we were searching - either their friends/family or an employee became pregnant, etc. We told our postman and the guy who delivers the newspaper.

It was very hard at first (we really are private people) but got much easier with time and as leads formed. We also found so many "gifts" - notes of support from strangers, friends sharing their adoption stories (adoptees, adoptive parents, birth parents) that we had never heard, so many prayers. We are continually amazed and touched.

Please don't hesitate to ask questions, we're happy to help.

Take care,
Regina

Originally Posted by tobeparents

Hello. We saw your posting in Adoptive Network on how to independent adopt. We have ben trying newspaper ads, both college and regular newspapers. For the past 3 months and have not received any calls. We had our ad reviewed by our lawyer and by the home agent. Both stated that the ad is correct. Well, we are looking to network to get other ideas on how to search for the **. Any advise would be helpfull. Thanks.

tobeparents@hotmail.com