[Liepolds]

Agency Etiquette Question...
I have an etiquette question. When we first started the adoption process I called many agencies and felt comfortable with one agency. Even before our first meeting she thought their could be a possible match and asked if I could put together a Lifebook and birthmother letter. We felt this was strange, but we were excited so I put the stuff together and honestly, I did not know what the heck I was doing! Well trying to keep this short, the b/m did choose us. We felt pressured from the start and after about a week with doing more research, we decided we not only did not like the b/m situation, we were not comfortable with the agent either. She made us feel very secondary and my gut just told me it was not right. When I called to say we decided to not go with this match, I pretty much said I was uncomfortable with the agency too.

Do you think I owed the old agency a call when we went with a different agency? We never gave her any money, or even really signed anything to start the homestudy. Infact, I was working on the application. Well, I did not call her figuring she would sort of know I was not happy with the situation because of our last phone call. She called me yesterday and was very rude. When I told her that we decided to go with the Agency my brother went through because this women already new our family history and we just decided to go a different way, she then asked me who the agency was, and I was taken aback by her grouph question so I told her and she pretty much said oh fine and bye! And she hung up the phone.

Am I missing something? Did I somehow do a "adoption taboo" I am not aware of? Also, do you think she will contact my new agency? I e-mailed the agency to let them know about the conversation and how uncomfortable it made me.

Please I am really looking for some input!

Thanks in advance,
Kim

[Guspiv]

THAT IS HORRIBLE!!

Hopefully your new agency will not be upset if she contacts them. Just tell them what happened.

How could they match you without a homestudy. That sounds weird. I would call the woman your worked with's boss. That is just horrible that they treated you like that.

[Liepolds]

Believe it or not, the women I dealt with IS the agency owner.

The story gets even worse, at our first meeting with the b/m the agency actually was showing us bills already. DH and I believe they jsut wanted someone to pay this girls bills. She did not want to work.

The story is long, and I will spare you the gritty details. Let's just say I am glad I went with my gut on the whole situation.

Kim

[wannabemama]

I commend you on being able to "go with your gut!" Do you know how many people would have felt committed, though they hadn't even finished feeling out the application? It is pretty sad that there are agencies out there that would push you into something so quickly. I think you did the right thing. I wouldn't worry too much about what she might have to say to the agency you're going with. I'm sure they would just consider what she has to say "sour grapes" because you didn't go with her.

Good luck on your adoption journey!