[Sedime]

Mods: if this si in the wrogn place, please feel free to move it


I've noticed that in a HUGE number of profiles, hopefuls use their religious beliefs as a positive point in their letter, I guess to reassure the ** and BF that they are good, honest, reliable people.
My question is, if being religious is a positive point, would being atheist actually hurt our chances of getting chosen? Does anyone have any experiences that could shed some light on this question? It's been weighing on my mind for some time now.

[tobeafamily]

For every paparent out there, there's a pbfamily who's looking for them. There are as many possiblities as there are people. Not every pbparent is looking for paparents with deep religious faith - in fact some are looking for exactly the opposite.

For instance, Ryan's bparents are practicing Wiccans. They were most definitely not looking for deeply religious Christian people to connect with. They weren't the only pbparents out there that did not count deep christian faith as a desirable quality. We aren't deeply religious, nor did we portray ourselves this way.

Your best bet is to be yourselves - that's really key. Adoption relationships are built on honesty and trust. To portray yourselves as being something you're not at the outset creates an environment of dishonesty. It's not the way to start an adoptive relationship.

HTH, hang in there.

Regina, AMom to Ryan Joshua THomas

[PinkRibbon]

Hello fellow athiest!
I thought that my religious beliefs (or lack of beliefs) would definitely be a down point. The caseworker told me just the opposite. She said that one family's strengths are anothers weaknesses. She said there were a LOT of kids who didn't want to be forced to go to church or to believe something they weren't sure about.
I told her that when the time is right, I would like to take my (future) daughter to different churches and temples so that she can decide for herself what her beliefs are. I also said that I would take my child (or find someone else) to a church if she already had a religion. I could accept her having a religion, but I reaaaalllllllly hope if she has one it is open and not based in judgment, hate and fear.

[mlbsands]

In our letter we talk about our "beliefs" some of those are spiritual beliefs and some are not.. Whiel we were encouraged to talk more about having a christian upbringing.. we decided that is not what we felt strongly about and that we wanted to be honest in what we believed in..

We have had pbparents talk to us and both identify with us and not agree with us on this..

For the pbparents that really wanted a more "structured" religiuos family we told them the truth about how we felt and we point them in the direction of some friends that are more along the lines of what they are looking for..

Just be honest and know that when its right.. it will be right.. and to not think that you have to be "one way" to be chosen...

Good luck.

Mandy

[LindaBrown]

As a person considering adoption for my child I would want my child rasied in the religion that I am.

[tlc4kidz]

I happen to be a Christian, but don't consider myself to be judgemental. Because of my faith I believe that God has a plan for all of us. I completely respect your beliefs that it may be fate or circumstances or nothing like that at all. I would encourage you to be yourself as the others have implied. I do know, however, that when your child enters your arms and your heart forever we can all agree it's a miracle!! May your path to parenthood be joyous.

Fosterma

[LindaBrown]

Just be honest in your dealings with birthmoms and it will work out just fine.

[Nicole28]

My Birthmom was Roman Catholic, and she requested Roman Catholic adoptive parents because she believed that it would be in my best interest. I would assume that, if birthparents were a specific religion and had hopes that their relinquished child would grow up with those same beliefs, that they would request adoptive parents of that same religion. I would also assume that, if they don't make any requests, that would mean that the religion - or lack thereof - of the adoptive parents wouldn't matter.

I hope that helps.

Nicole

[Aneni]

Dear Sedime,

As others have already suggested - just be honest.

My suggestion would be to add - IF it is valid for you - that you would support a child's exploration into and/or an affiliation with a religious community if (s)he chose to do so.

Sincerely,

[JadedSaint]

I'm glad this issue came up. Our adoption agency does not scrutinize religion, and quite frankly we are happy about that. I was raised in the Jewish faith, and my DH was raised in a somewhat non-practicing Catholic faith. But together, we are not very religious at all. We did let our case worker know that if an older child comes to us with a religious base or desire to continue practicing their faith, we are more than happy to accommodate that child's belief. But I'm not about to force religion upon a child who may or may not be interested at the time we adopt. I think that is probably why both of us, as adults, don't feel very spirtitual now.

[Sedime]

Thank you all for your replies Your time and energy in answerign this question are very much appreciated