[Anigel]

Okay so I shouldn't complain. We've been in this since early December. But the waiting. I am so happy to hear about everyone's matches, but we're like a snail slowing going along. The waiting is making me crazy.

I wish the addition was done already. That the paperwork would be finished already. That we could look forward to a match. A match... The words have taken on a life of their own for me. A match, a possiable match. It gives me a little thrill of hope.

When I read about how great everyone else is doing, I've begun to get a little wistful. Don't get me wrong, I really am thrilled... Just a little sad too.

I read a short little poem, it talks about a little girl and how you came in to picked up your baby, but you didn't want a little girl of three... The next year she sees you again. But you don't want a little girl of 4. It ends with her being 6, she is playing when you come in. The nurse takes her by the hand, because you wanted a little girl of six. She is so happy to go home with you...

[cathy102]

I know the wait is hard. I was driving my hubby nuts!! Poor guy!! But we all have been where you are right now. I know it is so hard to look into the future but you will be a mom someday and you will look back at all the you had to go through to become a parent to your child.. The wait is so worth it.. I used to hear that The wait was so worth it and I would say yeah right.. But you know something? It really is... I used to get so mad when people would be matched and not me. I would ask God, what about me, what did I do to have to wait so long???.. But God knows what is better for us than we even know.. Trust Him and He won't let you down...

Cathy

Ps...Sorry you are feeling a little down.. It's good to vent...

[Anigel]

Cathy -

Your words are very kind. I find that somedays are harder than others. <laughing at myself> Actaully every low seems to be followed by an eventual lower. And I wonder why I was so upset about that little thing... <hehe>

You're right, the wait might be worth it, but it sure doesn't seem that way. They told us at the agency that most people, when the decide they want to adopt, are like a train and want a child "right now!" There are so many things to be done until then, but I do wish I was on a faster train.

[gbfan]

I too, am in your shoes waiting. We had our homestudy approved in December and were officially accepted into our agency's program in January. I know that doesn't seem like a long time - but the waiting is driving me nuts.

There is also the added frustration of being around expectant moms quite regularly - friends and co-workers. Don't get me wrong - I am very happy for them. It is just sometimes a little difficult.

I think the hardest part of the wait is just not knowing when it will happen. We got so excited when we made the decision to adopt and it was a whirlwind with all the paperwork and the homstudy, etc. etc. Now, nothing....just waiting....

Well, sorry to vent. I really do have a good outlook on the adoption journey, it just gets difficult sometimes.

The one thing that has really helped is these forums. It gives me so much hope to see all those who have realized their dreams of parenthood. And I do know that it will be worth the wait in the end (actually it will be just the beginning).

L-

[Anigel]

Outlook. Yes, I think I also have a good outlook. I try not to be overly optimistic. When the neighbors kids run screaming through every lot in the subdivision, I think to myself. I will watch my children so they don't play in the streets. My DH even built a fence for me over the weekend (white picket). I think of them playing in the yard. Kick balls hopefully wont go over the fence to often... With the swing set right over there.

I did really good planning the addition (that's how slow my train is, I need an addition before I can be approved!) I've picked out everything. shutters, doors, windows, carpet, you name it. So retentive of me! I drew the plans myself (professional draftsman required, check that's me, survey, check that's hubby). We're a bunch of DIY'ers, just so long as I'm doing!

I think we all need to vent sometimes. Vent away. It actually helps to know I'm not the only one, WAITING!

[cathy102]

I do feel for you both. I thought I would never be a mom. After we were homestudy aprroved it just seemed like it would never happen. I wanted a baby NOW!! I am certainly not the most patient person when I want something. It just had to be in God's timing.. I thought I knew what I needed more than God knew what I needed...hehe!! I did learn alot while I waited. Then when you get The Call!!! Things just change so fast... I just want to encourage you to just ride it out. It is so hard alot of the times but I have 2 wonderful kids to prove it..

My daughters adoption took us 9 1/2 months to be matched, born 6 weeks later and my son's adoption took us only 1 month to be matched and born 6 weeks later.. So I just want to give you hope that you will be parents.. NEVER give up your dream to be parents..

I actually joined a gym at the time we were adopting to keep in good shape and have something to do.. That sure did help me alot. I also got so bad at waiting that I had to seek counseling for myself to re-focus on how I was handling the situation. 2 months later we were matched with my daughter's gorgeous birthmom..

I will be praying that it happens for the both of you VERY soon..

Cathy

[cathy102]

Sorry for the post again!! I do remember seeing all those ladies at the mall, DR appts. and alot of family and friends that was either pregnant or already had kids. I would get so jealous and just asked God why??? When we moved into our new house, we got the nursey done. That room was my daughters room. We didn't pick the gender with either adoption. I remember sitting in her room and sitting in the rocking chair just looking at the room. I would picture a baby in the bed. We have a lake in the back yard. Her window faces the lake. I remember picturing a child just looking out at the lake and getting so excited to see the duck and geese. When Lexi was old enough to look out the window, she was mumbling words and getting so excited. I remembered that I pictured that when we didn't have her and I started to cry...

So that is so great that you can picture your kids playing outside and just having fun. You will remember that when it really happens and it just melts your heart...

I have a picture trail of my kids... My daughter is 18 1/2 months ond and my son is 3 1/2 months old...If you want to see them, please send me a PM and I will give you the website...

Nice chatting with you both!!

Cathy

[gbfan]

Cathy,

Thanks so much for the words of encouragement. It is so nice to know that there are success stories out there!

I have to admit, I have been lurking on these forums for quite some time now and I have seen your picture trail. Your kids are adorable. I think yours was on of the first success stories I heard of and it has given me a great amount of hope.

If you don't mind me asking, how did your matches happen? Were they agency matches, internet matches, word of mouth? Our profile is on the internet and we are working with an agency....I just feel like there is more I should be doing.

Thanks again for sharing your story - you don't know how much it helps.

L-

[cathy102]

Lexi's was through a Facilitator and Sean's was thru an Agency.. ... But the one I used for my son was the best I ever used... If we were to adopt again (which we won't be) I would use them again in a heart beat... They were just great...

I will PM you with my picture trail. I have updated alot of pictures of the kids since I brought Sean home with us...

I think that is so nice that you remembered me and about our adoption. I am so glad that I can give you some encouragement. It's not easy to wait but so worth it in the end..

How long have you been waiting??

I am getting ready to PM you!!

Cathy

[cathy102]

L... I also wanted to know if you will PM me and I can see your profile? I would love to see it!!!

Cathy

[cj416]

I too am waiting waiting and waiting! We've been waiting a year now. Some days I get really down about it, others I think it will happen when it is meant to happen. I find that if I have to much free time I tend to think about it to much and get really down.
I know in my heart it will happen one day for us! Hopefully soon!

[Anigel]

Horray! I'm not crazy for picturing children playing outside. I think doing so might make it a little harder... But it's nice for a moment.

I'm glad, in a way that I found other people "waiting", or like Cathy, understanding of the wait. It seemed that everyone was being matched and/or placed. Guatemala has been lit up like a wild fire lately. Not that I don't wish all of you quick placements! Just nice to know DH and I aren't all alone.

Cathy -
I would love you look at your picture trail. I've looked at someone else's but I don't think it was you.

[cathy102]

I would let you see my picture trail but someone deleted it.. I posted it on this site a few months back and now it is gone. Picture Trail is trying to restore it. If they do, I will send you the password..

Cathy

[Anigel]

That's no fun at all. At least you have all your hard copies.

Imagine me throwing out all of my negatives two years ago, and now I want to make a lifebook... All of the photos will have to be made from the photographs themselves.

[bumpkin]

Anigel - have you ever used the kodak copier system at the drugstore? you can put 3 or 4 photos on a page and make copies and use those for your photo album. Just a thought

I had to do this with our profile, as the agency wanted 3 or 4 copies.



Bumpkin