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Hello all. I am married and have a ten month old son. My husband and I are planning waayyy in advance to adopt an older/special needs child or children when our own child/children are older, perhaps 10 years from now. At this time I am looking into doing emergency and respite foster care (I really want to do the foster care, but I am still working on convincing DH that it's a good idea).

When I spoke to the social worker we would be working with as emergency foster parents, she said that the homestudy we do now will also be used later down the road if we want to adopt a child. So, needless to say I want to make sure that the homestudy reflects us in the best possible light.

My question is this: at this time we sleep in the same bed as our baby son. I know that the consumer product safety commission advises that it is unsafe to do this, but I don't believe that and I can argue the point if necessary . . . But would it be best to hide our sleeping practices from the social worker? I have a nice crib that I could pretent my son sleeps in. But in reality, the crib is unused and available for foster babies.

I'm not sure if I am worrying about nothing, or if a little creative presentation could save me a lot of hassle later on. Does anyone have any thoughts on this issue?

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Originally Posted By Mary

We are foster parents and also have adopted several kids. we live in Ca. and at least in our state every child has to have their own bed. where they sleep is another story. My son who is now 5 still gets in my bed. He always slept with us when he was a baby. The crib was a decoration. But we had one in case anyone wanted to see it. i would show them His crib and if they want you to buy another one for a respite child you may have to but that doesen't mean your son can't still sleep with you. hope this helps.
Mary

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I don't really see how they could count co-sleeping against you. But I suppose I could be wrong.....it certainly wouldn't be the first time! LOL!

ANYWAY.....I agree with Mary, (in that) foster children will have to have their own bed...

But I DISAGREE with the social worker that told you the homestudy would be used for your adoption. Unless the "rules" have changed.....a homestudy is only good for a year in most states, and 2 at the most in others. You will FOR SURE have to have another homestudy if you won't be ready to adopt for another 10 years!

Melda

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Originally Posted By Linny

  I've had homestudies completed while living overseas, as well as stateside. My hubby and I have learned that sometimes WHO writes the homestudy, can be very biased and what might 'fly' with one writer, won't with another. In addition, what's said to one writer, might be written in a totally different way than how you meant it to be presented!

  I agree that you will have to have a separate bed for each child. How you conduct the sleeping of your own children, is your business. I am not a 'family bed' supporter; but I certainly believe it has its merits in some circumstances.

  As to 'why' they're conducting your homestudy now, would lead me to believe that they think that while fostering, you may come across children that will be released for adoption. They may want you to be prepared in that event.

  Hope this helps--

 Linny