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Originally Posted By Lori

We've been married a little over 1 1/2 years and no luck in concieving in the last 6 months so far...but will be soon seeing the physician. Whether or not we can actually have a biological child, we have been contemplating adopting an older child.

My husband has a desire for a 9-13 year old, and I think a 6-10 year old would be best for our situation (we are 31 & 32). How would we really decide what age would be best for us? After researching the various sites of adoptable children, it just feels wrong that we "shop" for a child...doe anyone else have this type of moral delimma?

Is it wiser to go through a private agency, non-profit, profit or public agency? I'm thinking that since we aren't looking for a young child/infant/baby, public might be our best option or possibly our only option?

I'd be thrilled to adopt siblings (2 at most), but wonder how much more difficult this would be? Perhaps it would be easier since the children would have each other too? My husband isn't sold on the idea but I think he would change his mind if the opportunity presented itself to be a win-win situatution for all of us.

Finally, how much should we have saved up for the various fees before we start the process? I suspect adopting an older child will be quicker than being on a long waiting list for a toddler/baby and we would need the money much sooner. Is this right?

Thanks in advance for any/all advice.

[Archive]

Originally Posted By Ella

It is much easier to adopt older children as well as siblings, but they usually come with lots of emotional "baggage." You may consider fostering children first to see if that would work well for you. Almost all agencies recommend at least a 16 year age difference between parent and child.

Best of luck, I hope you find your family soon.