[MNelson]

When we started just a few months ago, we almost signed up with an agency that estimated costs at $40k just because I found another one that were in that same ballpark. I thought "that's what it costs" and that I'd done enough research. We aren't made of money, but when you get used to the amount you spend on infertility treatments, your perspective gets a little skewed!

We sent in the initial check and within a week I got a call from them telling me that they were raising their fees and they now estimated $50k, and oh, by the way, their estimated waiting time was increased to 18 months!

Luckily we told them to return our check, and that's when I decided to knuckle down and make this my full time job (unbeknownst to my boss in my *real* full time job ;-)

What I found out after poking around a little more, is that unlike Freud's cigar, a fee is *never* just a fee when you're looking to adopt. There's a whole lot that may or may not be included, and the fees can vary considerably based on the program you are interested in (i.e. CC or AA) or how much in expectant mother expenses you are willing to pay.

I made up a spreadsheet that helped me ask the same questions of each contact, and use that for both a quantitative and qualitative assessment. (As analytical as I try to be -- ultimately I have to follow my heart.)

So I've attached this spreadsheet in Excel format (I saved in an older format so I hope all can read it, and I added the extension ".txt" needed in order to post to the forum, but you'll have to rename it to remove this before using it). I hope this can be of some use, and *please* feel free within this thread to add to it and repost. I'm sure I didn't think of everything!

Best of luck to all. Your child is out there either waiting for you or waiting to be born!

[MNelson]

Hi,

I've had more than a couple folks contact me directly, having trouble with the file renaming during download. For windows users, try selecting in the drop-down box "All Files" instead of "Text Files", and then remove that ".txt" part where the filename is shown. And you'll also have to use Excel 97 or later to open the file.

But if you still have problems with the download, don't hesitate to contact me directly.