[melon161]

I thought that I would start my own little journal here. I don't know if this is the right place but I'm "In waiting" so here goes.

My name is Stacy, I live in Alberta Canada and my husband and I are waiting for that special little someone to call us mommy and daddy!

In 2000 I was diagnosed with Polycistic Ovary Syndrom. This is making it very hard for us to conceive. Not that it's impossible but we're not sure that it's possible either. So, we decided that we would actively try to adopt and try to get pregnant at the same time. Well as it turns out we have been putting more time into the adoption option then trying to conceive. It just gets frustrating taking pills all the time. I've been taking a break from the fertility pills for about 9 months now and I think I will start them up again sometime soon.

Anyway, that's the first part of my story. I'll post more tomorrow.

Have a good day everyone.


Stacy

[melon161]

Well, we were matched with a child after a long process of homestudy's, classes and waiting. We were so excited and elated, it was like our feet weren't touching the ground. We had our hearts set on this little girl and now our dreams were coming true. Well, we had our meetings with the professionals for her and things just weren't right and now my husband and I don't know if we are going to proceed or not. We are very scared. The information we got wasn't what we thought it would be and there are a lot more problems then we were told. We don't if this is right for us or not. We have a meeting with our social worker tomorrow so we will discuss our concerns with her and see what she has to say.

I can't believe that we are being offered a child and don't know what to do. I have always thought that I would take a child the second someone said yes and now I'm having second thoughts. It's hard and confusing, has anyone else felt this way. Please help me straighten out my feelings.

Stacy

[cfharran]

Hi,
My husband and I are also waiting to be matched witha child. I totally understand your situation. I think that you just have to go with your gut instinct. It sounds like people aren't being completely truthful with you. I can't help but wonder what else they might not be telling you.
The bottom line is, you have to trust your heart. If this situation is not right for you, then maybe the best thing is to turn it down. God has a chosen child for you and I firmly believe that you will "know" when the time is right.
Good luck with you decision.
Clara

[melon161]

Hi Clara,

Thanks for saying hi and stopping by my journal.

Well, we've made our decision and we are not going to proceed with the adoption. This was the hardest thing that I've ever had to do and my husband is feeling the same way.

It's all kind of surreal. Last week I was painting a bedroom and buying toys and this week I'm just kind of existing. Now that we've made our decision I do feel that we are making the right one. We've talked about everything and we feel this is the best for her and us.

It's just so hard knowing that she was so close to having a home and now she doesn't. I can't help but feeling like I'm cheating her out of something. But you know what, we're the ones that are losing, we aren't going to know this beautiful little girl.

I have to tell myself that we are giving a gift to someone else that will welcome her into their home with open arms.

I hope I'm making sense and not just rambling on.

Well, have a good day everyone. I have a meeting with my social worker today and I'll let you all know how it went later on.

Stacy

[melon161]

We met with our social worker today and all went well. We told her our decision and she was really good about it and told us that the other social worker was very impressed with us and that she said she knew we would be a very good couple to work with.

It was hard making it final with the social worker. My husband started to cry and so then so did I. It was just that that was it, no turning back. But again I feel we did the right thing.

Have a good day everyone.

Stacy

[cathy102]

My heart goes out to you and your hubby. I know that was a hard decision to make. God knows that was so hard on you. You just have to go with your gut feeling, and that's what you did..

I will start my journal with you tomorrow...But just wanted to tell alittle about our next adoption. We just signed up with a Agency 2 weeks ago to adopt a newborn. Well, a birthmom wanted to look at our profile. She has narrowed it down to 2 families and we are one of them.. She is due Mid December..We should know tomorrow if we are the family or not..

I will let you know tomorrow as soon I find out..Just keep us in your prayers..If this doesn't happen, then God will have another baby for us...

Good night and I will check in tomorrow...

Cathy

[melon161]

Cathy,

I hope your nerves aren't eating you up right now. Good luck to you guys!

Today is a good day. I know that our child is waiting for us.

Thank god it's Friday, it's been such a draining week I can't wait to sleep in tomorrow, and boy am I ever gonna sleep IN!!!! WooHoo!!! Then I'll get up and clean my house. It's cleaning day, what an exciting life eh. ha ha ha.

I don't really have anything planned for the weekend, I just wanna relax and enjoy the days off. I'll probably go visiting around to my friends and stuff.

Anyway, I'll check back later.

See you!

Stacy

[cathy102]

I will write my jouranl later today..My parents had Lexi over night..So I'm just sticking around the house so I won't miss the Agency's call. I thought I wouldn't be nervous, but I am..I am cleaning like crazy to keep my mind busy..hehehe!!! As soon as they call me (hopefully today) I will post and let you know what is going on. If they don't pick us, I will wish the other family God's blessings. I mean, I have a 1 year old, so it's not like we are adopting for the first time. If this is not meant to be, then God will have another situation for us..We are working with a small Agency that has less than 20 clients..Right now they have more birthmoms than adoptive families...

I will check in later...Thinking about ordering a pizza...

Hugs,

Cathy

[MomofKaden]

Stacy, what a tough time you are in right now...I SO hope that God opens up another door for you and your DH soon...I think you did the right thing with that little girl - you know what you can handle and you stuck by what you are ok with...I am sad to know your DH and you cried...that is insight into just how painful it was - I always lose it when men cry! Please keep us posted on any new prospects...and don't worry - I am sure the room you painted will be perfect for the one that is meant to be yours!

Cathy, what excitement! I didn't know this prospect was coming up so soon for you! You keep us posted as well!!!

[cathy102]

I will post this fast..We are getting ready to take Lexi to the zoo. My agency emailed me last night to tell us that S will let them know on Thursday which family she has chosen.. I was a nervous reck yesterday thinking we would of found out who she picked!!! I think it's better that S takes her time and will know who is the family for her baby...

I will keep you post!!!

Have a great day and I will check in later today...

Cathy

[NanaMarie]

Cathy .. hope you have a great week-end and don't stress too much on what S's decision will be. I have been told many times that things happen in God's good time .. and on his timetable and I am sure if this is the right baby for you then your family will be chosen when the decision is made. If not, then God must have another plan for your family.

Stacy -- I think you and your husband were wise to say no when you felt uncertain about this adoption. I am not overly religious, but I do believe God has a plan for our lives and he lets us know what he expects of us and when. My heart goes out to you and your husband . Take care.

[melon161]

Good Morning everyone.

Cathy, sorry that you have to wait longer, I know the waiting is truly the hardest part!

Hope you have a short week.

NanaMarie and momofkaden (Jessica)

Thanks so much for visiting my journal. I hope you come back often. And thanks for the nice words and thoughts.

Well it's Monday morning. blah
I didn't want to get up this morning but I did. It took a little convincing from myself though. I was like "get up, no just five more minutes, no get up, no just a few more minutes." It went on like that for a while and then I just decided that instead of arguing with myself I would just get up because I wasn't getting any sleep anyway. ha ha ha.

We didn't do much this weekend. On saturday I went to a Stampin' Up home party at my cousins and I really liked it. and then on Sunday it was my nephews birthday so we went to that and had fun with all the little kids. There was pumpkin painting, fish pond, and a pinata. The kids had a blast.

Oh ya and on Saturday night I went over to my sisters and we did a few pages in our scrapbooks.

Stacey (my husband) decided to be a doll and did most of the housework so that was nice. I was truly gratefull. It's not too often that he does it all. He helps most times but you know how it is, I really do the majority. LOL

Anyway, I'll let everyone get back to what they were doing, I know I'm keeping you here reading this boring post. Sorry. LOL

Have a good day

Stacy

[cathy102]

Hi Stacy,

Sounds like you had a nice weekend. We took Lexi to the Zoo on Saturday. The weather was so nice. I love the monkey house and Lexi was standing at one of the windows and a monkey came up to her and she freaked out!! We just laughed. She did go back to the window when I held her hand. Kids are so funny.

Yesterday I had a lazy day. Didn't feel like doing too much..

Today is laundry day and grocery shopping. Some of the people that work for the grocery stores are going on strike tomorrow, so I wanted to get that out of the way..

It will be neat to hear who S picks for her baby. Last Friday I was nervous because I thought we would of known who S chose. But I have peace and will just let things happen the way God wants them to happen. Now if this would of been the first time I would of adopted, I would be going nuts!! But the second time is easier.. But still exciting..You just NEVER know how long the wait will be..

Have a great day and I will check back soon

Cathy

[cathy102]

Hey Stacy,

I keep telling you that I would post my adoption journey. Hubby and I tried for a baby from day one when we got married. We have always wanted children. After 3 years of trying and 9 months trying with my Gyno, we decided to go to a Fertility Specialist. Trying everything in the book with him, I had one surgery, monthly shots and then 2 IVF's with TONS of shots per. After not becoming pregnant. I wasn't going to try IVF for the 3rd time I told my huuby I didn't want to wait but to adopt a newborn.

We went to a Adoption Attorney to see if he could help us. All he did was the legal stuff for adoption and didn't have any expectant mothers. He said we would have to find them on our own. He did give us some agencies names that he recommended. When we left there, I just cried like I have never cried before. I thought he was the answer but wasn't.

After a few weeks of calling 8 agenices that he recommended, I decided in the agency I wanted to go with.

We flew to CA, to check out the place. We were happy with what we seen and signed up with them. Well it was very stressful to just wait until we were matched. I got down and depressed at times, because that's all I wanted to be was a mom. All the money in the world couldn't make me happy. I would of traded what we had just to be parents..

Well after 9 1/2 LONG months we were matched with a wonderful expectant mother. We wanted to meet T before the birth of the baby, which would be in 6 weeks of our matched.
We flew 2 weeks later and spent 4 days with T, her bestfriend and T's mom. We just clicked right away..

We went a third time when Lexi was born. Everything worked out for us. She was even born my my hubby's birthday. What a birthday present that was for Hubby.. We even took T and her mom home after she was discharged from the hospital. We spent about 3 hours visiting and looking a pictures of T while she was growing up..

T didn't know what type of adoption she wanted, so the grandma and I decided it would be letter, and pictures every 2 months. I do call the grandma sometimes to see how T is doing. We have kept this adoption open for when T is ready. She has my number, email and home address. I know she is going through a difficult time right now. She didn't want to see the baby when she was born. She still hasn't seen any pictures or letters that I have sent. I have sent everything to the grandma and she tells T how Lexi is doing..

Now we are adopting again and are excited. We could have a possible match only being signed up with our agency for less than 3 weeks. I have a feeling if this is not our match, that something else will come along soon. Just a strong feeling I have in my heart. And I do have a good peace about our next adoption..

Sorry if this was long. But hopefully I can give anyone that is still waiting for their child, HOPE!!! It will happen, but it's just God's perfect timing..And He's not a second late..

Hugs to all in the adoption journey,

Cathy

[melon161]

Cathy you're a cheater. You're supposed to start your own journal! Ha Ha Ha. LOL LOL

Thank you for telling me your story. I love hearing about everyone else's experiences. Especially when they're good stories.

Well, on Friday I called two private agencies in Edmonton (closest to me) and they both said that they would send out packages to me. They both said that I wouldn't have to get another homestudy done seeing as mine from Children's Services is only about 3 months old. That's a plus!!!

I got one of the packages out today and I think that I am going to go with them - Adoption Options. I really liked the lady I talked to on the phone and I get a good feeling from them. The other agency I talked to wasn't really that warm. The lady treated me like I was an idiot so I don't think that dealing with her would be in my best interest. If she talked to me like that all the time I would probably yell at her or something. Wouldn't be a good scene anyway.

When I asked her if I could fundraise for adoption she said "you can't pay a mother for her child!" and I told her I knew that and that I meant to pay the agency and she said, and I quote, "Well, I don't really care how you get the money."

At that point I just said, okay thank you, have a nice day and I hung up. It's sort of funny that she can talk to people like that and still have people sign-up with their agency. Oh well, each to their own.

Anyway, gotta run.

Have a good evening.

Stacy