[Nelson]

sometimes, a single fear can get in the way of your efforts, nagging at you just enough to make you put off until tomorrow something you could just as well do now. Let's get them out on the table. I'll ask some of our birthmother experts to chime in as well.

[melchak]

My biggest fear for the future first parents of our child is that they won't recover from their decision not to parent. If I could plan my perfect adoption scenario we would have a very open adoption--so I worry about my future friend(s), the mother of my son/daughter and what her life is like and if her heart and soul will heal well enough or soon enough for her to have a full, rich life. I feel like we're adopting a family (maybe an unusual one but our own none the less) not just a baby and I want all the members to be as whole as they can be. The idea of getting to parent and sharing the experience with this other woman seems unbelievable but will my parenting be the thing that causes my friend, this mother unyielding pain and if so how do I forgive myself. Sounds awfully dramatic but that's my deep dark fear that sometimes paralyzes me from going any further.

kerry

[tinazimm]

Will the family I choose to raise my baby share her with me in open adoption and not fear me? Will thay think I want her back? Will thay feel like I am trying to co parent with them and have them pull away? Will my baby understand why I placed her for adoption when she gets older and not her sisters. Can I ever get over the guilt of not being able to parent her. This is just a small part of our fears as b moms. But am very happy to report 12 yrs of open adoption has calmed my fears and out of sadness grow hope and trust and respect with a stranger I only meet once before my child was born. I guess love for one so small can make two grown women find a place that thay can both meet and share a life. Just my thoughts Tina b mom to mollie 12 amd mommy to hannah and emily rose

[Nelson]

nelson