[ISW]

We met the BPs last weekend and their mothers and everything went great! The meeting was intense for them but they got through it! The next day we went to lunch together and a girlfriend of our Bmom came to the table to say 'hi' to her. She asked our BF if we were his parents and he leaned over, put his hand on the Bmoms tummy and said, "No, these are our baby's parents". I was completely floored!

Considering their age, this was a huge acknowledgement and validation for us. In fact, this is going so well, I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop any second now. It's an almost too good to be true situation. I am trying not to get too excited as I know the risk involved..especially since I witnessed my sister go through a failed adoption last summer under 'ideal' circumstances.

Just 3 or so more weeks to go!

[Support2Adopt]

[quote]Originally posted by ISW
[b]We met the BPs last weekend and their mothers and everything went great!

What great news! Have you discussed if there will be any kind on going contact once the baby is born? Only 3 more weeks! Yeah!!!
JJ

[HollynSteve]

WOW!! Congratulations!

[ISW]

Support2 Adopt,
Yes, we discussed openness and we both share similar views. There was only one disappointment around the question of whether we would ever spend holidays/birthdays together and I said no. They did understand our view but I'm sure it was hard to hear regardless. We offered a compromise and they seemed okay with that.

Can't believe it's so close, it's a little surreal! I'm getting very nervous and excited now!

[mamasaid]

why did you say no to birthdays or holidays?

[Sharon]

ISW, if the "compromise" you reached involves the birthparents visiting or contacting their child around or near holidays and birthdays, but not on the actual day... you might want to think about allowing them to visit AFTER the birthday or holiday, rather than before, provided this is convenient for both of you.
It's just my personal experience, first as a child of divorced parents and later as a mother sharing joint custody with my ex-husband, that it's far more bearable spending the holidays alone if you have a visit with loved ones to look forward to, rather than if the visit is already over and done. Just a suggestion.
I'm glad your meeting went well, and I wish you the best of luck.
~Sharon

[Support2Adopt]

[quote]Originally posted by ISW
[b]Support2 Adopt,
Yes, we discussed openness and we both share similar views. There was only one disappointment around the question of whether we would ever spend holidays/birthdays together and I said no. They did understand our view but I'm sure it was hard to hear regardless. We offered a compromise and they seemed okay with that.

I applaud your honesty! Too often, there are people who will promise anything in an effort to get a baby, then disappear once the forms are signed and the waiting period is over. It's nice to see that you are upfront and honest. Glad they are OK with the compromise. :-)
JJ

[ISW]

We decided (at least for now) not to have visits on birthdays or holidays, but to have visits before or after these events. We are open to the possibility of it in the future, but we were very clear about not setting up expectations we were not 100% sure we could commit to.

Sharon, thanks for the advice

80% effaced and 1 cm dilated -- we're almost there. The freaking out stage has begun

[LIR - NFL]

Isabo, I read this child is being placed for adoption as what the bthparents are choosing. I dont read that this child is getting lost. Even to a friend that asked the bthfather said the adparents were the babys parents. I think its great that they all went to lunch and were so honest. Like Support2Adopt, I applaud the honesty. I think they are all thinking of whats best for the child instead of only themselves. I was the same way.

I dont feel bad that my girl spent her birthdays with her adparents. Im glad she was able to have wonderful birthdays. I know her birthdays would have not been so good for her if Id kept her as we would have been lucky to have a roof over our head not money for presents.

Adparents are picked by the bthparents to take care of the child and I think they are being nice and honest to bthparents. Its not adparents fault baby needs someone else to care for it. I think you should have compassion for adparents.