[MKBlackwell]

Hi. I'm new to this board. My husband and I live in Columbia, SC. We've been told that we may never be able to have children of our own. So, we have starting thinking about adoption.

I just don't know where to start. I have so many questions. Can anyone give me some advice as to what to do first?

Thanks.

God Bless,
MKBlackwell

[tobeafamily]

Hi,

First I think you need to think about how you want to pursue adoption. There are many ways to become a parent through adoption - international, domestic parental placement and foster care/waiting child adoption are three of the most common ways. Each carries their own benefits and their own risks.

Ask yourselves questions like these:

1. Do you want to parent a newborn, infant (thinking more like 6 mos to 1 year old at placement) or an older child?
2. What risks are you comfortable with? There is no 'risk free' approach.
3. How important is it that your child share your ethnic/racial heritage?
4. How much money are you willing to spend?
5. How much time are you willing/able to invest in the adoption process?

These are just some starters.

I'd also go to the library and check out books on adoption - there are very good ones for all types of situations.

I would caution you against believing that one type of adoption takes 'longer' than other types and using that as a metric. In my experience, it is quite possible to adopt a child of any ethnic background via any of these pathways within one to one and a half years.

Hope this helps. Best of luck!

Regina

[twyla]

Hi, MKBlackwell!

Below are some edited quotes from previous postings of mine and it should give you at least a little information to get started.


Before starting your research to find the right agency to help you adopt…

A. You need to have a pretty good idea of the parameters of the child you are willing to adopt, (age, gender, race, prenatal exposure to drugs, etc.).

B. You need to have decided how much you can afford, or are willing to spend for adoption fees. Will you save or take out a loan for the necessary funds?

C. You need to be aware that some agencies will accept anyone as a client if they have the money, and some have very restrictive qualifications.

Now that you have at least a glimmer of an idea of what will work for you, get out your phone book and look under "adoption" in the yellow pages. You will probably find several agencies listed. Write all of their names down along with their phone numbers and then systematically call each one. The best way to figure out which agencies you might be willing to work with is to use a questionnaire when you talk with them. Something like the sample below, which is by no means complete! I'm sure you will have other questions. The more questions you ask while researching, the less likely you are to have an unpleasant surprise after choosing your agency.

(I've listed these in no particular order of importance)....

#1. What types of adoption do you do? Closed, semi-open, or open? (You need to get them to explain what they mean by each of these, agencies differ in how they define these terms, and it's best to ask, not just assume you know what they mean by the term.)

#2. Do you do domestic only or international too? (If they do international, ask what countries, as not every agency will deal with every available country.)

#3. What are your fees and when are they due? Are any of these refundable if we decide to go with another agency or find a placing mother on our own?

#4. Do your fees include everything or will there be services we will have to pay someone else for? (i.e. background checks, health checks, attorney fees, & court costs)

#5. What are your requirements for accepting a couple? (some agencies, like ours, Bethany Christian Services, only accept Christian, church-going married couples)

#6. How long do you normally take to complete a home study assessment? (This can vary from a few weeks to a few months.)

#7. Do you provide counseling services? (Yes, No) Who to? (Birth parents, adoptive parents, adoptee) How long do you provide these services? (Just during adoption process, As long as needed)


Good luck with the homework and let us hear from you again. This forum is for support as well as information. We'd all love to know how your journey is going

[trunks888]

Read read read.
Is what I say.
there's sites such as www.adoption.com
www.adoption.org
and the best of all http://www.calib.com/naic/parents/intro.cfm#educate

all these have alot of info that you may find useful

[Bknwom]

read, read and read. Here's some great suggestions: Adopting After Infertility by Patricia Johnston....questions whether you are ready, prepared or really want to adopt. Another I've heard mentioned over and over is, The Complete Idiots Guide to Adoption.

Good luck and if you have add'l questions, feel free to pm me.

[Just Julie]

For a faster placement, if you are open to an older child, consider taking a teenager through foster care. They have their own problems, but we got a wonderful 17 year old in a few weeks! This could also be a babysitter for younger children down the road. Just an off-the-top-of-my-head response! Blessings to you!