[Sidswife]

Hello everyone!

I need some help. I am going ot post this on a couple of different boards, so please do not be surprised if you see this more than once out there in cyberspace.

My dh's best friend and his wife want to adopt a six year old boy through the state system. They found him through our state's adoption website, called the county, and know that he is available for adoption. However, they can not get help in starting their homestudy! The state has not sent any information to them yet. Plus, the state is not willing to give them any kind of accelerated homestudy to get moving towards the end result of visitations and placement. This child has been in foster care for over a year!!!! You would think that they would want him in the loving and caring home that our friends can provide for him.

We are all so frustrated! They do not have the money for a private homestudy so that is not an option. Where else can they go for help?

Please, help if you can. They are looking at this child's picture everyday and just know that he belongs in their home.

[lucyjoy]

The state does things in their own time and they almost never speed up studies. Also, chances are they will have placed this child by the time the study is finished. Even though he's been in foster care for more then a year doesn't mean adoption was his goal for that long. Sorry I can't be more positive, but this is how the state works.

[sherryk]

I know the feeling of seeing a picture of a child and longing to care for them. In fact, during our process of fost/adopt, my husband and I did this a number of times. Our sw always told us not to fall in love with a picture. It breaks your heart if/when they go to another family.

My advice would be...start the process to adopt one step at a time. Have your friends go to the orientation meeting to find out what fost/adopt is all about. If they have done this already, the next step would be to start filling out the paperwork (and there is mounds of it). There will be training meetings to attend and a list of "to do" requirements (physical, fingerprints, ect).

If the child they are looking at is still available after their homestudy is complete, then they can pursue him. This is a process for all involved.

Our family went through a non-profit agency that places children in homes from the foster care system. Our homestudy fee was reasonable (in fact, we received it back once a child was placed in our home) and the agency was very personable. We received a child within nine months of starting the process. Our daughter is exactly what we dreamed about!

Warm regards,
sherryk
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