[Sidswife]

We are matched with a birthmom who is due June 5th. We are a nervous wreck. Sometimes I think that this is the hardest wait of all. Already, I feel a closeness to this baby that I have only met once. (through our meeting with the birthmom and the ultra sound pictures) I guess what is making this so hard is that she has been very honest in that she is not sure of her plan. I am grateful for her honesty, but at the same time, it is killing me inside. I am not good with not knowing the outcome of things anyway! I know that things all work out in God's timing. Believe me I have been doing my share of praying!!!!!
So I was just curious, is anyone else matched and waiting out there? What is your personal story? Maybe if we share, the time will go by faster.
A support system for this difficult time would be great!


41 days and counting............ actually +72 hours for her to change her mind

[FamilyBound]

We aren't matched yet, but I can only imagine what you are feeling!! We'll count down with you Have you done any preparations yet?

[Sidswife]

Familybound,

Our nursery is completly done! But that is due to using my three year old's things from his nursery. Plus, my sister who has six children, has given me many of her hand-me-downs. I have washed bottles, but done little else. I am just too scared. Thanks for the count down!!!

[FamilyBound]

Wow, how exciting! We are in a similar situation. We're going to be moving our son out of the nursery room into his "big boy room" within the next month so most of that is done too (except for rebuilding the crib).

How are your preparing your 3 year old?

Originally posted by Sidswife
Familybound,

Our nursery is completly done! But that is due to using my three year old's things from his nursery. Plus, my sister who has six children, has given me many of her hand-me-downs. I have washed bottles, but done little else. I am just too scared. Thanks for the count down!!!

[Sidswife]

He has been asking for a baby for a year now! We come from a large family so he thinks that brothers and sisters are a necessity in life. My husband gave up on him playing with baby dolls while at our niece's house. So, he has pretty much prepared himself. hehe
We do pray for the "birthmommy and the baby that is in her belly" every night. we have told him that there is a mommy out there who has a baby in her tummy that she loves soooo much but she can not take care of it. So she is going to have the baby come live at our house so that she knows that it will be loved and taken care of.
The birthmom had choosen us because we are a two parent family with the same Christain values and beliefs as her upbringing. She is also having a biracial baby and we are an interracial couple. That was important to her as well.
Our son knows that ababy will be here soon, but we are trying to leave out details because of the birthmom's waivering.

[Tracy K.]

We've been matched with a young woman who has three kids already (she's 23) and a husband who isn't much help for her. Her youngest was one year old in February, and her baby is due soon. We don't actually know when the baby is due because she didn't get to the doctor until she contacted our agency, so it was more difficult for the doctor to target a due date. The first due date was April 8, the second due date is May 3. Well, the poor girl has been trying to will the birth of the baby ever since that April 8 date! She's supposed to be on bedrest, but she does things like scrub floors or does things for her husband or kids. (He does things like make bets with his buddies on when she'll deliver.) We're trying to get the agency to provide a home health aide or some other help so she can follow doctors orders (of course, whether she will or not is another matter). Anyway, we were matched about mid-March and it seems to be a long time, but really isn't. The really long wait has been ever since April 9 when we got the first call that she was going to the hospital. They sent her home (oh, yes, we got that call at 3:30 a.m.). Then she told us that she went again, and they sent her home. She is so much trying to speed things up. The baby will come in his/her own time. What a whacky rollercoaster this is. June will be a nice time for a baby. Good luck.

[withopenarms]

I'm so happy for all of you that are matched. When I think of the big day I feel like a kid at Christmas. Congrats

[morrison]

Hey everyone-

What great news to read!!!! I'm so happy...count me in on the countdowns!!!

I just spent the last hour writing a response- and not to put a feather in my hat but I thought it was (at the least) rather entertaining...but now it's lost... somewhere between here and cyberspace...if anyone sees it, let me know!!!

I'm so excited for you all!!! What inspiring news!!! Good luck, good luck, good luck!!!!!!!

No news here- except that we were out to dinner the other night and would you believe the guy we were with actually knows a guy that (either worked or works) for the ambassador to the country OUR LITTLE GUY is in???? I don't remember exactly what he said...I was so taken back by the fact that he new a BIG shot in a third world country...the particular country OUR LITTLE GUY LIVES IN!!! He told us to organize some really researched, well thought out questions and he'd see what information he could get for us. Unbelievable...if God is trying to get through to us...we're all ears!!!

GOOD LUCK to everyone!!!! You are ALL in my thoughts and prayers...keep us posted!!!!!!!

Morrison

[Taryn]

I completely understand the whole waiting thing to the max! We were just recently chosen by a birthmother on April 9th. She's not due until the end of October!! I could only wish I had to go through just waiting 3-4 months. These next 6 months are going to seem like an eternity. She's not even far enough along to know what sex the baby is. I'm just kind of taking this milestone to milestone . . . passing the first trimester, finding out the sex of the baby, her feeling the baby kick, passing the second trimester, etc. We've only written our first letter to her but haven't heard back. I posted a thread yesterday asking how I can go about trying to pass this time. It is SO hard!

[videofreak]

Its good shes being honest with you. It sounds like your very understanding with her honesty. when I choose a family I will be honest with them too because I am not sure about my decsion either and I hope their very understanding.

[Sidswife]

Because we are at the other end of the spectrum, all I can do is try to be understanding on her decision. She is making the toughest choice that she will ever make in life. I truly believe that she thinks that the adoption is the best thing for the baby. However, emotionally, she is not sure that she can go through with it. I really feel for her and pray for her constantly. It is so hard for me because on one hand I want to be this babies mommy, on the other hand, I do not want the birthmom to be in pain. After meeting her, she becomes a "real person" with real feelings. Now, I have grown to put her in my heart along with the baby. No matter what her decision is, she will always stay there as a part of me.
We are still on the countdown...38 days.....

[Tracy K.]

Our PBM, her husband, and we have all become quite close through all this. We know that there is the possibility, and indeed her right, that she might change her mind. But the more we talk, the more we find things in common or understand in the same way, the more it seems like it will go through. Regardless of the outcome, I'm a richer person for having met this woman.

Oh, and this weekend, we bought a bottle of champagne, just in case. When we see the signatures on the form at the 72nd-plus hour...pop!

[Sidswife]

I understand that 72 hour mark!!! You are lucky that you have ongoing contact with your pbm. We have only talked with pbm once and I have sent her two letters through the agency. She wants no further contact than that. She does want us at the hospital ASAP after delivery if she decides on her adoption plan.

[Tracy K.]

Wow. That you haven't had a chance to have contact with your pbm would drive me crazy...and I thought that I was going crazy having so much contact. (You see, I am not a telephone person... ) You must just be on pins and needles. Well, there is a mixed blessing in this. Our pbm has gone to the hospital three times with false alarms. The first one was on our wedding anniversary, and we totally panicked. The second one she didn't tell us until after the fact, the third one was yesterday. She is so anxious. We know that she is trying to do what she thinks is the right thing. Maybe your agency can be of some more help in having some contact or conversation. Although our agency has kind of left us feeling like we've been hung out to dry. I can't imagine what you must be going through. Arrgh!

[Sidswife]

Today has been really hard. My husband, who is normally the typical strong manly man, has been sick to his stomach all afternoon and evening. He said that he can not stop thinking about our pbm and her decision. He is very nervous. WOW! I thought that it was only me. I feel like we are living on the edge of our seats. Today I feel like she is not going to go through the adoption plan. I am sure tomorrow will be another wash of overwhelming feelings.
My sister gave me two baby girl outfits today. I am not sure how I feel about this. I am excited, of course, but on the other hand I just can not get into the spirit of the prepartion. I feel totally useless right now.
We, my dh and I, talked about what we will do after the fact... if she decides to parent the baby. I am not sure if I can take the heartache again.
I know many of you dream of the day that you will be matched! However, it is a blessing and curse all in one. I just wish that we had more contact with the pbm and that our agency would call and update us once in a while! Even if they have not heard anything lately.
PLEASE keep us in your prayers! We need all the support we can get right now before we break!