[Support2Adopt]

.....................Things have been way too quiet here. What's up with everyone? Any updates? Questions? Let's get some great conversations going. :-) JJ

[JoanneFromNYC]

Hi JJ....I've been very busy lately, we're in the early stages of adopting a sibling group of three and it's very time consuming between visits with them, visits with the many adults in their lives trying to help them, getting our house ready, etc.
I also have been working on maintaining a community of adoptive and waiting-to-adopt parents. I'm very protective of it and it's members and it's a responsibility I take serious so that also takes time from posting here as much.

I hope things are well with you! (((Hugs)))

Our homestudy is done and our caseworker is coming over tomorrow afternoon to review it with us. I thought this part of the process would take much longer and I am THRILLED that we are so close to being *done* with this part of our journey.

I can't wait to start looking for a match!

[faith_amom]

We are still waiting to adopt #2. Our agency only has ~ 10 couples approved and waiting to adopt at a time, and we are #11. So, once they have another placement, then we wil be invited to do our home study. We have been waiting since Jan 2002.

- Faith

[Support2Adopt]

Nice to hear from some of you! Joanne, any idea when the children will be able to move in with you? I know sometimes it can take quite awhile and other times, it goes pretty quickly. jl, congrats on finishing the homestudy! Wow Faith! You've been waiting for awhile. Hope the agency gets a placement soon so you can get your homestudy done. JJ

[SuburbanMom]

We're still waiting. Had to say no to a couple potential situations. looking into becoming resource parents for the county foster care program. Tried to make an official inquiry on a boy in foster care down the street - but no one will return ours or our social workers calls. Going to be presented to a case in a neighboring state soon, but really don't have much info on that.

Faith - our agency used to only allow 10 waiting couples at a time for their healthy cc program. But with all the new adoption laws in our state (OH) their legal counsel told them they couldn't do that anymore. They can't delay homestudies and can't hold back profiles of people that are homestudy approved. So the waiting parents in our group just jumped up to 15 with a few more coming soon. Let's just say the couples that had been waiting the longest are NOT pleased with these changes!

[mckenna]

hopefully my son's adoption will take place in june, i am not holding my breath, as things never seem to go as planned with dfs, but i am pleased with the progress we are making. i thought once i knew that tommy would be able to be adopted, i would relax a little, but i just can't wait til everything can be finally so he can officially have my last name and be baptized. i am glad to hear things are going ok with the other waiting parents.

[leannh]

just sittin' and waitin' here. not much to talk about except the artist is coming wednesday to paint the mural on the nursery wall. i Cant wait! it's gonna be SO pretty. and the room will Finally be finished. YaY

leannh

[Pblair]

We are getting ready for our Homestudy and have been working on the house a lot. There are a lot of things I would like to have done before we have a little one in the house I know there will be a lot less time on my hands after that! We are almost finished with the tons of paperwork and will make the appointment next week for the first home visit!
Many blessings to everyone
Pat

[ajjhmf]

We've just been trying to get our homestudy finished. One of our 'friends' used our reference as an opportunity to voice her opinions on adoption which weren't so positive. (She let us in on these opinions AFTER she recieved the reference form for our homestudy. VERY long story.) Any way, after meeting with our SW yesterday, things are looking up. She's seen this happen before and we can work through it, but we're going to have to jump through a few more hoops before we are done. No worries though, just lots of leg work.

-Jenny

[stynx9000]

My wife and I are pretty much in the middle of our home study process. I've got my individual meeting with the social worker this Sat., Jenn's was last Sunday.

Then, it's more paperwork, a final meeting and our papertrade with BCIS.

We're hoping to get everything done by June, and have our dossier off to the PRC!

Ben

[MomTo1]

Good morning everyone...

jfenner....A friend of our's did the same thing. It turned out to be okay but you are right, we had to jump through a little more hoops. Also, as of today, that friend is still not supportive on our plans to adopt, again. She just feels we should do an international adoption, if we wanted to do any. Oh well, that is her opinion and I am still working with her because she has been friend since H.S.

We are getting ready to begin our second homestudy in August for another domestic adoption. We just received our income tax refund, that is being placed in a special savings account for our second child. Our little girl will be 2 in May. I'm scared about jumping back into everything again. Even though we had a very good experience, I can not help but become concerned when I read all the horrible stories on the internet.

Good luck everyone!

[JoanneFromNYC]

Joanne, any idea when the children will be able to move in with you? I know sometimes it can take quite awhile and other times, it goes pretty quickly.

Besides being neglected and abused by their biological mother, they've had two failed placements so right now we're taking it slow and just getting to know them, individually and as siblings.

[Support2Adopt]

Originally posted by JoanneFromNYC
Besides being neglected and abused by their biological mother, they've had two failed placements so right now we're taking it slow and just getting to know them, individually and as siblings.

So, how does it seem to be going in getting to know them? By the way, how did you get the smiley face onto your post?
JJ

[JoanneFromNYC]

When you reply, there is a box to the left with smileys in them...just click the one you want.

It's going well....they test us and we stay calm.....they act out and have to pay the consequence....they talk about their abuse and we listen and validate their feelings...

Right now, it's confusing for them because we're in a co-parenting situation with their foster parents....they live with them when there is school and they live with us when there is no school, like the weekends and when school is closed for whatever reason. Some weekends we have all three, other weekends we have one at a time. When school is over, we'll do a couple of long visits, like 2-3 weeks and them our placement will start!

Thanks for asking!

**DISCLAIMER** Before someone jumps in and makes an assumption without asking me first, which has happened to me on this board several times........
When these three children talk to us about the neglect and abuse they suffered at the hand of their biological "mother", as educated pre-adoptive parents, we know that to speak of her in a negative way may be damaging to their self esteem, and because it's our job to re-parent them, we would never do something that lowers their already low self esteem. Saying we do not talk about her in a negative way does not mean she talk about her in a positive way. When they speak of the abuse, I don't make excuses for her because I don't want them to feel that I think there could be any reason for a parent to abuse their child, instead we talk about them and how they felt. Instead of speaking about her in a positive way, we focus on what they were feeling and thinking at the time it happened and what they're feeling and thinking about it now. We validate their feelings of being scared and also relate a time
when we were scared as a child.
If after reading this disclaimer, someone feels I should make excuses for her actions and/or speak of her in a positive manner, I want it to be know that those are your opinions and I will not be responding to them.
**END OF DISCLAIMER**